Coffee and cocaine
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Coffee and cocaine
Cocaine made my heart race.
Made me sweat.
Wracked me with Anxiety
Even just thinking about it, in the moments before a doing it, would bring on a bowel movement.
My hands would shake and sweat.
My thoughts would race.
I'd be unable to settle and relax.
Sleep was impossible while on it.
For days afterward, I'd toss and turn at night. Wake early. Get headaches.
It took away my energy and motivation - though I often rationalized I was using it for energy and motivation.
I'd focus on "cutting back". Just get a little..... always led to more. Then a lot more.
Coffee has taken on so many of these same qualities. In sobriety, two substance addictions remain; caffeine and sugar. The parallels of how coffee influences my life and my body as compared with cocaine are undeniably clear. I've wrestled with this for so long. Like cocaine, like alcohol, I've spent YEARS telling myself "I need to cut back". "Tomorrow". Only to find myself veering toward a roaster, a coffee shop, a Starbucks - uncontrollably.
I really believe that many frustrating issues in my life right now; gastric distress, sleep problems, headaches, low energy, high blood pressure while exercising, libido disruptions, anxiety, depression - are linked with the substance I start EVERY day with.....
Yesterday I hiked with a friend who has quit coffee. It's been a struggle, but as we talked it became more and more clear to me; I want to be free of this addiction and its negative impact on my life.
I have been up since a bit before 4am. I had a headache that woke me. I did have 120mg of caffeine in the form of headache medicine, and will use that as a controlled means of weaning my way through the terrible caffeine headaches.
Wish me luck. Here goes another addiction.
Made me sweat.
Wracked me with Anxiety
Even just thinking about it, in the moments before a doing it, would bring on a bowel movement.
My hands would shake and sweat.
My thoughts would race.
I'd be unable to settle and relax.
Sleep was impossible while on it.
For days afterward, I'd toss and turn at night. Wake early. Get headaches.
It took away my energy and motivation - though I often rationalized I was using it for energy and motivation.
I'd focus on "cutting back". Just get a little..... always led to more. Then a lot more.
Coffee has taken on so many of these same qualities. In sobriety, two substance addictions remain; caffeine and sugar. The parallels of how coffee influences my life and my body as compared with cocaine are undeniably clear. I've wrestled with this for so long. Like cocaine, like alcohol, I've spent YEARS telling myself "I need to cut back". "Tomorrow". Only to find myself veering toward a roaster, a coffee shop, a Starbucks - uncontrollably.
I really believe that many frustrating issues in my life right now; gastric distress, sleep problems, headaches, low energy, high blood pressure while exercising, libido disruptions, anxiety, depression - are linked with the substance I start EVERY day with.....
Yesterday I hiked with a friend who has quit coffee. It's been a struggle, but as we talked it became more and more clear to me; I want to be free of this addiction and its negative impact on my life.
I have been up since a bit before 4am. I had a headache that woke me. I did have 120mg of caffeine in the form of headache medicine, and will use that as a controlled means of weaning my way through the terrible caffeine headaches.
Wish me luck. Here goes another addiction.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Freedom USA
Posts: 73
I agree completely about the link between caffeine and other addictive triggers. They must impact the same area of the brain. I did a 10 day diet detox that eliminated caffeine and sugar and had no cravings for alcohol during those 10 days. As soon as I added just 1 cup of caffeine a day back into my diet, I needed wine. They both trigger that pleasure center where one is not enough. I'm going to give up caffeine again too.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
I start my day with coffee, but I don't feel compelled to seek it out after the morning is over. It's definitely a habit; I'm not sure it's an addiction though. Are all habits, addictions?
If someone suggested it was ruining my health or limiting my ability to function at an optimum level, I don't think I'd have too much difficulty letting it go.
Still, I hear and read from many others in recovery who question their food addictions and it's worth looking at. Taking caffeine out of the diet for two weeks and seeing what happens physically and mentally seems doable.
I'll try it and post back here during the two week stint.
But since I do like something warm to drink in the morning, I will drink tea instead, chamomile.
If someone suggested it was ruining my health or limiting my ability to function at an optimum level, I don't think I'd have too much difficulty letting it go.
Still, I hear and read from many others in recovery who question their food addictions and it's worth looking at. Taking caffeine out of the diet for two weeks and seeing what happens physically and mentally seems doable.
I'll try it and post back here during the two week stint.
But since I do like something warm to drink in the morning, I will drink tea instead, chamomile.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Well I caved.
The craving and headache and the tension of withdrawal was too much for several hours delayed in an airport.
Only had one, so still at least progress.
I will try to wean down over the coming few days.
The craving and headache and the tension of withdrawal was too much for several hours delayed in an airport.
Only had one, so still at least progress.
I will try to wean down over the coming few days.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
here are a few addiction killers, nicotine, caffeine and sugar all the drugs found at a AA meetings. But seriously folks one thing to really help in early recovery is getting those 3 poisons out of our systems, clean diet, supplements and exercise and of course a good recovery program should be part of the recovery process.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
One thing I read about habits is that it makes more sense to alter or change a habit than to try to cease or end it. There's the cue, the routine, and the reward. In that order. So when you experience the cue (for example, waking up and walking to the kitchen to make the coffee), you replace that old routine with a new one, and you reap a similar reward. You are only altering the routine in this sequence.
Here's how I did this for shopping: Cue (checking emails), routine (instead of clicking on the sales ad thru the email, I started writing down in my journal what was happening), reward (I was still managing to avoid the negative emotions I was feeling at the time that prompted me to autopilot check emails). After a while, I no longer needed to identify what was happening as my 'routine.' I then began journaling about my actual thoughts and feelings as the routine. Sometimes, I pick up one of the books I'm reading and do that instead.
Whatever you pick to do instead of drinking the coffee can be temporary or permanent.
You might already be substituting a new 'routine' but thought I'd throw this out as food for thought.
Good luck.
Here's how I did this for shopping: Cue (checking emails), routine (instead of clicking on the sales ad thru the email, I started writing down in my journal what was happening), reward (I was still managing to avoid the negative emotions I was feeling at the time that prompted me to autopilot check emails). After a while, I no longer needed to identify what was happening as my 'routine.' I then began journaling about my actual thoughts and feelings as the routine. Sometimes, I pick up one of the books I'm reading and do that instead.
Whatever you pick to do instead of drinking the coffee can be temporary or permanent.
You might already be substituting a new 'routine' but thought I'd throw this out as food for thought.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
I drink it in the morning and at work - at night I switch to tea.
What I have done to stop me drinking too much has been to make sure that for every coffee I drink 500ml of water - so when I make a coffee, I fill up my water bottle at the same time - seems to be working for me.
What I have done to stop me drinking too much has been to make sure that for every coffee I drink 500ml of water - so when I make a coffee, I fill up my water bottle at the same time - seems to be working for me.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
Posts: 184
All I can say is that I'm with you, and I feel I'm in the same position.
I'm 3+ years sober, but I somehow couldn't kick the 1-2 cups of strong coffee each day, even though is really bad for my anxiety, my skin, and made my teeth grimy. I was able to quit for 3 days last week, but caved. And now this is my second day without coffee this week. I feel like I'm starting recovery all over again, haha.
Best of luck to both of us.
I'm 3+ years sober, but I somehow couldn't kick the 1-2 cups of strong coffee each day, even though is really bad for my anxiety, my skin, and made my teeth grimy. I was able to quit for 3 days last week, but caved. And now this is my second day without coffee this week. I feel like I'm starting recovery all over again, haha.
Best of luck to both of us.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Haha I started laughing. I remember doing coke and having to run to the bathroom in the middle of dancing at a club cuz it made me need to go URGENTLY.
I have cut way back on caffeine in the past 6 months. I was drinking 10 cups a day. Now I have 1, 2 max. I quit smokes cold turkey a while back. I would get this manic EXCITEMENT when it was near break time and I could go have a smoke. I didn't like that...I knew I was addicted.
When I came into sobriety I really wanted a new life. I have one now. Thank you God.
I have cut way back on caffeine in the past 6 months. I was drinking 10 cups a day. Now I have 1, 2 max. I quit smokes cold turkey a while back. I would get this manic EXCITEMENT when it was near break time and I could go have a smoke. I didn't like that...I knew I was addicted.
When I came into sobriety I really wanted a new life. I have one now. Thank you God.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
I see a (very slight) similarity between cocaine and coffee.
It's true, if I drink too much coffee it makes my chest hurt.
Both do seem to cause one to use the restroom
Stimulants have been known to do that.
M-Bob
It's true, if I drink too much coffee it makes my chest hurt.
Both do seem to cause one to use the restroom
Stimulants have been known to do that.
M-Bob
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
When I did cocaine it was very different from coffee. Am I lying to myself? I don't know. Cocaine made me race, was nearly always paired with alcohol, sometimes with other drugs (pot), and under the influence of cocaine I would make really, really bad choices. I'd hang out with people I didn't like. I'd say things I didn't mean. I would "rage". I don't have the same relationship with coffee at all. I do drink coffee every day, and if I run out, I will drink tea. Sometimes I drink tea in addition to coffee. But neither of these beverages change my state of mind to one where I leave my values to the wind the way cocaine and alcohol did. That's my relationship to it anyway.
But it is an addiction, physically and mentally. For me, it's one I am ok with actively having right now. I admire your quest to kick it, though. Godspeed. And thanks for posting as it gave me something to think about.
B
But it is an addiction, physically and mentally. For me, it's one I am ok with actively having right now. I admire your quest to kick it, though. Godspeed. And thanks for posting as it gave me something to think about.
B
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
I'm with you on this free owl . I never used to bother too much with coffee ,tea was my hot drink . I bought a cafeteria and I experiment with various brands . I love the aroma and the satisfaction I feel after a cup , however I don't find myself seeking out a costa or starbucks but I will be keeping an eye on this .
One think I do want to quit is E- cigs . I'm totally addicted to those things and wonder how much damage they actually do cause . If I go somewhere and realise I've forgot my vaping device I am not a happy chap .
Good luck with the caffiene.
One think I do want to quit is E- cigs . I'm totally addicted to those things and wonder how much damage they actually do cause . If I go somewhere and realise I've forgot my vaping device I am not a happy chap .
Good luck with the caffiene.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Thanks all.
The one cup I had wore off 5 hours later and a terrible headache and nausea kicked in on my flight. Took excedrin again, so that was another 120mg caffeine. That puts me around 350mg today, which is still technically weaning.
I think I am going to be forced to taper because I have ano awful reaction to trying to quit. Even tapering is painful and physically miserable, which makes the psychological addiction all the harder. I never had this bad a reaction stopping other things. Cigarettes were next worst in terms of physical addiction. I'm so grateful I wasn't physically addicted / dependent on alcohol. Seeing a friend recently going through DTs was deeply disturbing. This coffee thing is but a fraction of that Hell and yet I feel so trapped by it.
Anyway, I'm going to taper and keep at this. It clearly has me and I don't want any substance to be running my life.
The one cup I had wore off 5 hours later and a terrible headache and nausea kicked in on my flight. Took excedrin again, so that was another 120mg caffeine. That puts me around 350mg today, which is still technically weaning.
I think I am going to be forced to taper because I have ano awful reaction to trying to quit. Even tapering is painful and physically miserable, which makes the psychological addiction all the harder. I never had this bad a reaction stopping other things. Cigarettes were next worst in terms of physical addiction. I'm so grateful I wasn't physically addicted / dependent on alcohol. Seeing a friend recently going through DTs was deeply disturbing. This coffee thing is but a fraction of that Hell and yet I feel so trapped by it.
Anyway, I'm going to taper and keep at this. It clearly has me and I don't want any substance to be running my life.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
I was in a weird mood this morning, I drink one cup of coffee in the morning and that is it I do know people in recovery who drink 8 to 10 cups a day that is unhealthy but will not kill you. Cocaine IMO is light years different than coffee, coffee never cost me my paycheck and possible freedom or kept me up for 3 to 5 days, been there done that no fun.
If coffee is causing you problems quit and drink tea.
If coffee is causing you problems quit and drink tea.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
'If coffee is causing you problems, then quit'
But my point is that I am finding it as physically and mentally difficult as if you were saying
'If cocaine is causing you problems, then quit' to an addict..
If I could just quit.... then it wouldn't be a problem. It is literally as much or more of a struggle than coke or booze was to stop.
But my point is that I am finding it as physically and mentally difficult as if you were saying
'If cocaine is causing you problems, then quit' to an addict..
If I could just quit.... then it wouldn't be a problem. It is literally as much or more of a struggle than coke or booze was to stop.
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