I am back again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
I am back again.
Hi Everyone!! I am back again and this is my first night not taking a drink. I started drinking again after 20 months of sobriety and so it goes... I am beginning again. I am a bit afraid because I remember all of the hurdles from the first time and I hear the times after get worse! As a typical alcoholic I told myself I wouldn't ever get as bad as I did before and yet here I am again. I have been lurking on here for a bit before I made the actual commitment to stop again. Great things happened when I got sober. I completely transformed into a person I was becoming proud of and then life threw me a few curve balls and I didn't cope well and began drinking again. 2 months ago someone had taken my picture and I looked absolutely awful. But of course it's not just about the way I look it's who I am. I started to hide again from the world. When I was sober I was out there and ready for anything. When I drink I begin to avoid, lie and blame and a whole slew of things that go along with being a drunk. So here goes. I've been without a drink for 24 hours now. I doubt I will be sleeping very much this week/month. But it has to happen and I am scared for sure but the alternative is much much worse. Happy to be back. You will be seeing much more of me again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
Thank you again guys! Last night was a bit of a rough one but so far so good. Very excited to getting healthy again and being a great mom. It's so nice to see you all here. I really appreciate the welcomes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
It's really nice to be back. I was reading quite a few posts tonight of old members that used to be on quite regularly when I was recovering during my 20 months who are still here and going strong and I find it so encouraging. Day 2 under my belt and so far so good. I think I had a few sweats today and a bit of dizziness but not so bad. I know the real work begins (or it had for me) around the 3 week mark. That was around the time my brain started to race knowing for sure there were major changes down the road. I have always been surrounded by alcohol. When I quit last time my husband continued to drink and he is a very heavy drinker but I had made up my mind and it was always in the house and I just never touched the stuff. Actually i had developed quite a hatred of alcohol based on how drunk my parents are and were growing up that the idea of alcohol just bothered me. It was always fine for me to have friends over and they drank because I am a social person with or without alcohol. I really started to like who I was when I was sober. I really really dislike myself drinking. Even if I have only a few it's like a switch in my personality. When I started again there were quite a few terrible things that happened to me at once and I didn't get on SR for support. I just threw up my hands and said that's it I'm drinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and slowly but surely over a year it increased. So now I have to think about all of the things that I need to do differently so that doesn't happen again. This was my only real source of support before and I think I had gotten comfortable in my sobriety that when my life took a sharp turn I didn't reach out, I just reacted. I need to figure out a support system for when times get tough as inevitably they will at points. Anyhow sorry for the ramble. I am really happy to be here and it's great to be reading up on how everyone is and all the great advice/support/time people give. Good night for now.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
Hi, Cusper. Welcome back. It sounds like you know what needs to be done to get back on track! Glad you are part of SR again. Please join the Dec 2016 Class. We are very supportive classmates! Maybe we will see you on the Sober Bus, too! ♡CR
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