sadsadgirl

Hi guys, I'm so ashamed-I drank last night. I'm feeling awful today. I had got up to 15 days. And then blew it. I hate myself at the moment. The fear is incredible in me today. Why did I pick up again? I knew what was going to happen! But couldn't say no!

sadsadgirl

Sorry I meant to send this yesterday it's day 2 for me now. Still feeling awful.

bexxed

At what point in the day did you decide to drink SSG?

Glad you're back. Be good to yourself. We're here.

xoxo

B

Delilah1

I'm glad you came right back! What supports do you have in place to help you remain sober? Having a plan is what has worked for me this time.

K66

We can do this .... I know we can... We have to. ..

Zanna

When I knew what would happen and still picked up, someone said to me 'what are you punishing yourself over?'....it made a lot of sense. I WAS drinking to punish myself for things in the past. Just saying x

sadsadgirl

Hi bexxed, it was about twenty minutes before we left to go for drinks. I was going to just drink Coke. But then changed my mind

K66

What kills me are the physical symptoms.. that makes me want to drink to numb them but it's the cause of them... and then I dr.Google myself to death... my urge to Dr. Google is about as heavy as the urge to drink.. do you have or had any physical symptoms nagging at you....??mine are pins and needles ... pressure in my bladder like all the time...numbness in the surrounding area... pressure in my upper inner thighs... compromised eyesite ... I mean holly I'm only 30.. what the hell is going on 😢

K66

Insomnia. ... dry flaky skin. .. darker pigment...anxiety... this is why we have to fight.... if I can feel and see the affects why is it so hard to stop!! The this time it will be different mentality has got to go....for me at least...

sadsadgirl

Yeah the physical symptoms are awful, I really suffer in the first few days. But then I get complacent when they are over.

K66

I've had them for months and kept drinking.... denial is a killer. .stay strong ... well get through it together. ...

kk1k5x

To answer your question: it will end, when you end it.
What's your plan moving forward?

sadsadgirl

My plan is to not go out with coworkers in the future. I need to maintain my previous plans for longer, not just when the physical symptoms are there. This ends NOW. I am sure of it! I can't go along to things with other drinkers unless I have a plan. I managed a wedding in my last bout of sobriety. Nothing is more tough than that. I know I can do it.

K66

You can do it 😊

sadsadgirl

Thanks K66. I'm working from home today. Lying on my bed wondering where it all went wrong? How did I become an alcoholic? Why me? I don't deserve this! Blah blah blah. Well all I can do is to throw myself into sobriety.

jodc

Thank you for sharing Sad,
I have only 4 days behind me but what really helped me the past couple of is nights is remembering...REALLY FEELING... how good I feel when I think about how I didn't drink; being with that, I feel stronger, more productive and able to get through the moment.
I hope this helps you.

Sending you strength!

PurpleKnight

You can do this, but change up your plan.

Coming and asking for a second opinion on things before picking up that drink may be something to build into your plan, plenty of folks here on SR that will give you some support!!

Forward12

It will all be over when you finally decide enough is enough and quit for good.

Murphy71

I know how you feel. I've had many day ones. I hate the feeling. Hang in there and keep up the fight.

least

It can be over now if you want it bad enough.