BeBetterforkids

I finally got the courage to sign back on here. I am a mother, a wife, a respected coworker and an alcoholic. I finally said it out loud to my husband (although he already knows) and my sister. I try to moderate and go days without drinking (not often, believe me) , but I always end up drinking every night. A bottle of wine, some beers....next think you know, its 6:00 am and I am dreading a day that I should be thankful for. There have been a few times that I went a month or so, but always back to where I am. I don't have withdrawals symptoms - sometimes I snack more, but that's about it. I'm not sure what my plan is and I know I need one, but I'm just focused on not drinking after work. I want to spend time with my son, not in a fog. I'm excited to get home tonight and see him and wake up feeling better tomorrow. It feels different this time - to the point where I have had to go to my car and cry (im at work) because I feel relieved that I don't have to feel this way again. I feel so relieved that I told someone other than my husband that I'm an alcoholic. I feel happy that I know I am going to be the best mom I can and not drink at night to "deal with the kids" - when all they want is to spend time with me. I'm so much better than this and Im not sure how I got to this point, but I'm the only one that can change it. Im excited for my family that they can have me back - because when Im not drinking wine, I think I'm pretty awesome. I know I used to be. Im crying again! Thank you for reading this.

tursiops999

welcome back, BeBetterForKids.

doggonecarl

Welcome back.

If you admit to being an alcoholic, then treat it accordingly. Get a process in place to support you beyond day 1.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back BB4K! Sharing our issue can be very liberating, glad you were able to make a breakthrough in that area.

You mention you don't have a plan yet, how about some kind of group meeting? ( AA, SMART, Life Ring, etc ? ) Most of those groups are all about sharing and feeling part of a group that "gets it" - just like here on SR. Sometimes there's no substitute for having that same support in person.

Windancer

Awe, your courage is very noble and fantastic. Good for you!
Stick around here on SR ... it can be very helpful.
Keep on keeping on ... you got this
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

Soberwolf

Have you got a plan & so good to see you

Berrybean

Welcome back.

BeBetterforkids

I don't have a plan - other than to not drink. I didn't like AA. I started researching Life Ring today. I am not sure if that is something I will be into or not. I have also reached out to some people I know that have gone through recovery and asked to chat with them for support. It was difficult for me to reach out to people , but they were very receptive and promised to keep my journey private until I am ready to tell the world.

Berrybean

Might be worth looking through the links that Dee has put on his thread about making a plan...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-2.html

Dee74

Welcome back

D

CajunPrincess

Welcome! You seem like such a sweet, gentle soul. I hope you get a plan in place soon (the link that Berrybean shared is really good).

BeBetterforkids

I looked online last night at Life Ring and it seemed like something I will like better than AA. I will sign up after work for the online groups they have through ***** - I feel good today so I'm going to focus on my job (like I should be doing most days and I don't because I feel like garbage) . I'm keeping a tally of what I would have not spent in wine and setting that money aside for some new clothes. Its about $12.00 a day so it should add up quick! I had a nice night with my son and woke up feeling refreshed and guilt free. Thanks for reaching out everyone

BeBetterforkids

I have also taken a few pictures of myself hungover and I have them right next to where I kept the wine so I can be reminded of just what happens when I drink. I've never done this before , but someone I talked to that is 2 years sober said it worked well for them. The pictures are awful , but when I start feeling good, I get the urge to drink , so they will be a helpful reminder of how quickly I can feel terrible again.

Elle126

Bless you be better, the first step in the process is admitting you are an alcoholic and you've done that so now you are on your way to becoming a recovering alcoholic!!! Well done you and welcome👏

Lightning Bug

My husband has video of me. If I merely mentioned the idea of having a drink I know he would whip out that iPhone and show why that is a terrible idea. Just thinking about that makes me ill.

graciepearl

Happy sober day !!

theVman31

sometimes we have a plan and we dont even know it, it just falls into place when we are determined enough.
The first step was to post on SR. I dont like AA either (but they are not the only support groups) but you do whats right for you.

My name is Vinny and im an Alcoholic.

Nice to meet you