JD1970

Hi I am new here, I poured out my drink after finding this forum. I have been drinking for the last 4-5 years, it started with 2-3 beers per night then 3/4 or more of a bottle of wine, now in the last 6 mos it averages to a bottle of pinot noir per night or 2 double vodka mixed drinks usually followed up with a single vodka with mixer. That's my limit, then I stop. I can go a day or 2-4 without drinking, never feel really hung over. On the weekends I will drink the same or 2-3 doubles followed by 2-4 beers. I hold down a professional job, am a happy drinker and don't drink until my obligations are fulfilled. I check my blood and liver enzymes every year and my Dr. tells me I'm text book. I'm in fantastic shape or a 46 year old man, better than most 20 somethings. My wife drinks mostly on the weekends but feels I drink too much, most of my colleagues tell me they drink the same or more. So I always felt I don't have a problem. I think I have a problem or could later.

madgirl

Well you are here, and the thoughts about drinking are gnawing at you.

Perhaps abstinence for 30 days may offer some new perspectives? If you don't have a problem, than a month should seem easy.

Dave42001

Glad you posted, I'm 49, when my metabolism slowed down in my mid 40's things started to change for me.. Keep a close eye on it and be aware of the reprocutions.. Living sober to me is an easier deal, I hope you find what you're looking for!! Tons of information and great people on this site!! Wishing you the best!!

Soberwolf

Hi JD

BarOwnersSon

Welcome JD. I'm glad you are here. There are so many different perspectives and experiences here. I hope you take the time to check out the different forums and get acquainted with the many great contributors here. I'm a 51 year old who has been able to hold down a challenging job for the last 35 years, and have stayed in good shape, off and on, occasionally running a 5K here and there, playing baseball with my son, etc, etc. I have gone through periods of heavy drinking, up to 8-12 beers each night, abstinence for several months, then back to drinking. But I know that I am an alcoholic, and that this disease has progressively taken up more and more of my life. I don't drink like anyone else I know, I don't like myself when I'm drinking even though I'm not a mean drunk, and drinking has absolutely impaired my ability to grow into a fully functioning person. For me, it took 30 years on this dreadful roller coaster ride to finally realize that I'd had enough. I wish you the best as you assess where you are in this. Stick close. We are always here to lend support.

August252015

HI, and welcome!

Sounds like it's good you are here - the idea of stopping for a time (a month, a year?) and seeing what happens is a good one. And remember- it is not the quantity, the frequency or the kind of alcohol you drink that makes it a problem, or you an alcoholic. It is the need, the compulsion, the necessity; whatever word you want to put on it, it is the place alcohol has in your life and mind, and why you drink, that matter.

It sounds like you have your doubts about your drinking, and once those questions start, you really can't "un-ask" them. You're in good health and shape now (and many alcoholics do things like run and succeed at their jobs, etc- for a long while) - I would suggest getting a hold on - stopping- before alcohol does harm your body, life and relationships, because if you are an alcoholic it will; even on the level of how you cope, the amount of stress, drama, dissatisfaction and such are affected by our drinking (and even if we never face legal or financial issues and losses).

Good luck!

ZenLifter

Hi there JD. Well, it's like others have said, people who are able to drink normally aren't usually concerned about their drinking the way you are. For me it just got worse over time. Last year I quit for 90 days and then resumed, moderately at first, but soon enough I was drinking more than I did before. If you are truly alcoholic you will more than likely get progressively worse.

D122y

Jd,

Hi and welcome.

Imo....If you drink that much....you are an addict. Addicted to alcohol. My wife drinks 1 or 2 a month....maybe. ...

Just like cigarettes or coffee....or crack....or meth. So technically...we are....alcoholic. it is a chronic condition. This means it can not be cured. We will always crave the buzz...we crave the euphoric stupor. Sad but true.

At least you have found this place before you progressed further. Knowing is half the battle....

I didn't start to feel really bad until I hit my mid 40s. Then I tried to get super fit and be a drunk.

It didn't work for me. I had a few hypoglycemia incidents, the last two while driving...then I quit. I have some ptsd from the incidents....while driving. Pretty much sucks.

The starting and stopping drinking wore me down . The inability to stop after 2 or 3. I would lose count somehow. Was it 2 or 3? Oh well...

The ptsd has been my real motivation to stay clean. I doubt I would have quit if not for that.

Thanks for the post.

WeekendWarrior

I agree with MadGirl - shut it down for 30 days. If you can't do that then you obviously have a problem. If you can do that, you still may have a problem but the 30 days will give you clarity on that. I am nearing the end of my 30 days and this clarity is what has happened to me and I am going to go beyond 30 days!

As others have said, if you have to have a discussion about this, then you have a problem. People without problems don't think about these things, don't have wives who bitch at them for drinking, etc. It just doesn't happen. It is a progressive disease and a "problem" can blow up into full raging alcoholism. It's a continuum.

Quit for 30 days, no exceptions. If you can't do this then you clearly have your answer.

WeekendWarrior

You & I sound very similar. I'm early 40's, lift weights, run, and am in very good shape. My BMI and bloodwork are all terrific. I'm a successful professional, with a smokin' hot wife and 2 wonderful young children. The bills get paid, chores get done, I never call off hungover, and I am very involved with my kids and do stuff with them constantly and am very involved with their raising.

So, with all that, I thought that 6 days of being Captain Dad Husband Career Guy America meant I deserved to drink into the wee hours every Saturday night (that was my drinking night). That was "my time." That was my pattern; my body knew it and all week long I looked forward to Saturday night so I could tie one on after the kids were done for the day. I'm successful & healthy, right? I'm going to burn it all off by lifting and running, right?

But what normal person does that? I'd look outside and 2am with 12-15 beers in me and see everyone's lights are off. I'm probably the one person up, and I'm only up b/c I'm drinking. That's a problem.

Everyone's journey is different. The 30 day abstinence has given me such clarity. Do it, your questions, if looked at honestly, will be answered. It's easier to look at them honestly with a few weeks of a clear head and any withdrawal behind you.

JD1970

Thank you all for the welcomes and sharing your stories with me. So I am going to do 30 days sober. I know I already feel better in the mornings when I don't drink the night before. On nights I drank I could count on waking up after 4 or 5 hours and lying there awake for 2 hours trying to get back to sleep, then wake up groggy and feeling like crap for drinking. Last night I slept until morning with no interruptions and felt more awake. This happens just about every time I don't drink. Tonight will be challenge 1. My wife and I are going out with friends for a farewell dinner to one of our friends. All of them drink heavily, I told my wife we don't need Uber, I'm driving. Living in AZ is no joke when it comes to DUI and DWI, even having alcohol in your system regardless of the level can mean arrest. Something I've never done or experienced, and don't ever want to. So tonight, I'll have a soda and water and make a game out seeing just how silly my friends get. Thank you again to all of you for your kind words and support.

WeekendWarrior

You will wanna party with them, so be ready for that. If partying wasn't fun, we wouldn't do it, right? By driving and therefore putting a leash on yourself, now that's a great idea. Since you're not drinking, order an extra appetizer or something a bit expensive that maybe you'd pass on normally. You'll still be saving money since you're not buying any alcohol.

Me? Tonight is $0.50 wing night at a local place. I'm going to go, am driving, and am taking my son with me. So no way am I drinking, even if I wanted to. Normally, going out for $0.50 wings means dinner, a few beers, and therefore a $30 or more bill plus a tip. Tonight it will be $7 plus tip.

misty2572

Welcome...... hope you find some answers here. I don't think anyone can tell you whether or not you're an alcoholic....only you know. Good luck tonight.

Hevyn

JD - It's so good to have you with us. We're here 24/7 It really helped me to talk things over with those who cared.

Delilah1

Welcome JD!! I'm glad you decided to join us, and decided to stay sober for 30 days. You will feel so much better physically and emotionally.

Driving tonight is a great plan, hope you had fun!

WeekendWarrior

Okay, folks, confession.

I lied.

I had 20 wings instead of 14, so my bill was $10.00 plus a tip.

Wtbaf16

Driving to social events is a great way to still be around friends and stay away from alcohol. I have used this many times in the past. Use this reason for not drinking at work parties or neighborhood gatherings. It really does help. I'm also taking the 30 day challenge and hope to repeat it every month!

Good luck and don't eat too many wings......

thomas11

Welcome JD, you don't have to be homeless on a street corner drinking cheap wine to be an "alcoholic" or have a drinking problem. If you think you drink too much, that's all that matters. Welcome to SR.