Kelly12390

What scares you about sobriety?
-the thought of forever. It's seems so long that I keep going back for one last time. Forever to me is petrifying.

What stands in your way?
-myself, restlessness, complacency

What do you feel may stop you?
-being afraid to open up at AA meetings and then feeling guilty for not sharing when other people are and feeling like I don't really deserve to be there

How have you struggled?
-sometimes I really see this as a character flaw in myself, although I don't ever think that of any other person who struggles with addiction. I've isolated as a result and can be very lonely.

What do YOU see when you look in the mirror?
-depends on the day lol, mostly things I need to improve on

What do you WANT to see?
-I want to see someone who is at peace with herself

What are you afraid to share?
-I'm afraid to share parts of myself with some people. People who intimidate me make me feel so nervous even sharing basic thoughts or ideas or opinions on anything

What are you holding back?
-I'm so afraid of failure that I'm failing. I'm holding back intectually, creatively, holding back on forming friendships and connections with people in real life because I'm very afraid nobody will like me or I just not be taken seriously

Thought provoking questions sending warm wishes your way on this Tuesday night!

Mountainmanbob

Believe me that will come with some time spent away from the liquid devil.

I'm still amazed by the changes I see in myself and others. All accomplished from making a firm decision to never drink again.

Being the one that we always wanted to be -- a true gift.

Mountainman

KarenOskie

This thread is really helping me. I hope some more people share in it.
I'm going to my usual Tuesday meeting in a few minutes, but I'm determined to do something a little different, and for me, really scary. I'm going to talk to at least one person, and not just say 'hi' and run, but tell them that I've been around a while but am struggling, and really need some help. OMG!!! The very idea. But I'm going to really try to do it. How much worse can it get? If they freak out and tell me to go to he**, that will be something really amazing to share here. but probably, they will either be really kind and helpful, or just pass it off in some way so they can go hang with their click. Either way, I will feel really good for trying.

BeautyNsideNOut

What scares you about sobriety?
I have been sober before.. But never for more than 11 months
I am not afraid... I am ready

What stands in your way?
I stand in my way.. Lack of coping skills... And willingness to run

What do you feel may stop you?
Nothing... I am remaining positive


How have you struggled?
I always relapse... Due to boredom.. Or anger... Or when I get money

What do YOU see when you look in the mirror?
Someone getting older... Losing her edge... Who has wasted so many opportunities

What do you WANT to see?
Someone successful - long continuous period of sobriety..

What are you afraid to share?
Nothing

What are you holding back?
Many things from my boyfriend

EBIII

Thanks FreeOwl that is a great post very helpful. Much appreciated.

KarenOskie

Wow, that was like magic! I am amazed at the difference in the meeting. The lady I tried to share with was very friendly but didn't seem to really get it. But the man sitting next to us did, and he gave me a CD and workbook for the first step, told me about their meetings and welcomed me. He was so nice. And the meeting was better too. I have been to this meeting many times and have rarely had anyone speak to me. And I know it came mostly from my change in attitude. I am going in with that attitude every time from now on. Well, hopefully when I have some good time and have been working the steps, I can be going to be of help to a newcomer, but until I get this thing, I am going in with this attitude of 'I want to stay sober and can't do it by myself, can you help?'. Wow, thanks FreeOwl for this. It was an amazing help for me!

FreeOwl

Forever was a struggle for me as well.... but nowadays I look upon it with excitement. "Forever" isn't real, anyway. I have maybe 30-50 years left on this trip.... if I'm blessed with it. In that sense, "Forever" is quite a bit shorter a time. If I'm blessed.... I am gifted with the chance to spend a greater amount of time on this earth sober than I did drunk. That prospect is hopeful and alluring to me now. It wasn't always. It was hard to conceive at first. But I got through it - partly by creating a vision of how positive that "forever" would be and filling my vision with images of inspirational others who were doing it, whom I could admire.

Fear of failing!! Ahhhhh.... who among us cannot relate to that. Think back on the things in your life you've 'succeeded' at. In every case, you will find that you did so despite your fears or concerns. It comes to this; you will make it through your fears if you name them, face them, accept them - then SUCCEED ANYWAY.

You do this by not holding back. By not allowing the fear to be an anchor. By choosing to go 'all in' and by sharing, seeking steamrolling your way to the goal you want.... to the person in the mirror you know you want to see.

You can.

FreeOwl

Let's reframe..... "I always relapse".

--->>"I have learned much from the experiences of relapse.... I now choose to leave relapse behind and embrace sobriety".

"I stand in my way.. Lack of coping skills... And willingness to run"

--->>> "I stand as an advocate for myself.... I am building coping skills.... I do not RUN, but rather face my world on its terms and learn to grow with it".

"Someone successful - long continuous period of sobriety.. "

---->>> " I am successful, and building a long, continuously-sober life of abundance"

"Someone getting older... Losing her edge... Who has wasted so many opportunities "

----->>> "In the mirror I see someone whose age brings wisdom, who's edges have softened to allow in vulnerability and growth, whose choices have brought knowledge and willingness to grab hold of opportunities that lay ahead"


You can do this..... you have strengths and wisdom and love inside you. You need not hold back, nor fear, nor hold onto negativity.

You can.

FreeOwl

Wonderful.

Keep it up.

When we open ourselves, then gifts are given.

You're on the right track.

You can.

BarOwnersSon

Wow Free Owl. You truly have a gift for this. This thread is so insightful and inspirational. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

FreeOwl

This week I was offered:

Jello Shots
Whiskey
Beer
Vodka
Wine

It's funny how often alcohol is put forth as a gesture of:

Kindness
Celebration
Togetherness
Sorrow
Congratulations

Even when people KNOW you haven't had a drink in years.....

As a newcomer, I remember this being a big anchor point... a big fear... a big influence. What would I do if I didn't drink!?!? I would be:

Uncool
Looked down on
Outcast
Boring
A stick-in-the-mug
Left out


But none of that is true. I just say "No thanks, I don't drink" and I move on. And despite those refusals and those statements of sobriety, I am:

Pretty cool. At least darn cool enough for me, my kids, my family, my Lady, my dogs, my friends.
Fun
Lucid
Present
Handy
Responsible
Healthy
Powerful
On top of things
Funny
Caring
Helpful
Outgoing
Honest
Respected
Liked
Accepted
Often complimented
And FREE!!!!


So.... keep at it.

It gets better an better an better an better....