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Old 06-14-2016, 01:28 PM   #1 (permalink)
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INSANE anxiety


I posted yesterday under "I think I broke my life..." about potentially screwing up my marriage and, ultimately, the relationship I might have with my daughter as a result of this. Now all I can think about is the immense guilt and shame from this and consequently, I'm having the most rampant anxiety I think I've ever felt. I've been through withdrawal and PAWS stuff before but my feelings were at least always anchored by the thought that I had my wife and daughter to help support me. Now, though, my wife has pretty much withdrawn all affection from me and this is just throwing fuel on the fire. I think about her leaving me and finding happiness with someone else and it makes me want to jump out of my chair and/or faint. Not trying to get a "poor me" response, just seeing if anyone out there has been through something similar and seen their anxiety go down after being a sober a while. Cause right now it honestly feels like I'm in a special part of Hell.
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Yep, unfortunately anxiety can get worse over time and subsequent withdrawals. Staying sober will certainly help improve it, but don't rule out the need for some external help ( therapy, exercise, self-help, maybe even meds ).
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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At the root of all withdrawal-related anxiety is your addiction, which will try to tell you, "Drinking will make it go away."

Stay strong. The best thing you can do for the anxiety, the guilt and the shame is stay sober.
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I felt an enormous amount of anxiety when I stopped drinking. I had all but lost my family and my health and both of things caused great anxiety. The worst part is that the only thing that really helps is patience. You must allow your wife to feel what she is feeling and to make her choices. And, it's very hard but what you can do is stay sober and show people that you are changing.
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Yes. On my first two days this time around, my anxiety was through the roof. Chest tightness, restlessness & honestly feeling like I was going crazy. But, now I am on Day 6 and it has started to subside.

As hard as it is, the only way to help alleviate it is to just not drink. Your AV will definitely try to feed off of it, you just have to resist. Whatever it takes. Each day will get better. Hang in there!
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Anxiety in early sobriety for me was really, really bad.

If it gets to the point where it is keeping you from staying sober, consider seeing a doctor. Medication may be an appropriate option.
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Ok, thanks to all. I've been trying my best to get to the gym or swim or engage in some kind of physical activity everyday, which seems to help a bit. In the past these symptoms seemed to have cleared up within two weeks but this time around is a whole different beast - I guess this comes along with each subsequent withdrawal becoming worse and longer. I will not/cannot/refuse to drink at this point. I know that things will only get better if I stay sober, but at the same time it seems like I'm losing my mind. I know that I must let my wife feel her feelings and I plan on giving her time (she's asked for two months to contemplate our relationship) but it's so unbelievably painful to think that she might choose a path without me. By the way, I currently take an antidepressant and see a therapist monthly. Diet is good and, like I said earlier, I exercise as much as possible. Agggghhhh!
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:57 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Same here - anxiety was and is through the roof. I felt like the only thing that would quiet it is alcohol. Give your wife her space. She's entitled to feel the way that she feels. If you drink again or flip out, you'll only prove that you can't do this. One thing that has helped me during these extreme times is to do something. Get out, work in the yard, go for a run. Do things around the house. ANYTHING but ruminating in the thought process that is causing this anxiousness.

Click on my username and view my post from last Tuesday. I was a MESS and WROUGHT with anxiety - rightfully so. But a week later it's calmed down immensely. Hang tight and don't drink!
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Old 06-14-2016, 01:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hope this helps deep breathing is known to calm anxiety plus know you have us to lean on you can do this

Deep Breathing Instructions for Calming Panic

A breathing exercise that calms panic attacks.

3 Anxiety Breathing Techniques You Can Practice Anywhere - Self help for anxiety - Anxiety Slayer
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Old 06-14-2016, 02:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I know that kind of anxiety you are talking about. I am 25 days sober and still dealing with anxiety. The first week was the worst. I felt this sense of impending doom constantly with me. It's so uncomfortable that I can't function or sleep. For the last few years I have been unable to stay sober because of this anxiety and the discomfort it brings. This time, I have been going to AA meetings everyday. working so far
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Old 06-14-2016, 02:04 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Hey there! My anxiety was horrible when I first got clean, and although it is a normal part of early sobriety to experience a lot of anxiety, sometimes there is something else going on besides just drug or alcohol addiction.

I got a full psych. evaluation and found out that besides being a drug addict I had bipolar type 2 disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression. I mention this because while anxiety and depression is a normal part of early sobriety, my anxiety went deeper then just newly being sober and without the proper medication and counseling that anxiety would not have subsided by just "sticking it out".
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Old 06-14-2016, 02:12 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I went through the same emotions, time , meetings, therapy and good diet and exercise. It is not easy stay the course.
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Old 06-14-2016, 04:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I hope your wife comes round and you make up . Our partners suffer from our drinking as you no doubt know and they need time to heal too .
It would seem nearly everyone on this forum has had or still has some form of anxiety issue , I know I still struggle with this . I,m not a psychologist but I think fear and apprehension are driving your anxiety to new highs . I am talking from past experience of a very worrying/fearful family situation which landed me in the psychiatric ward for 3 weeks ( not scaremongering ) .
Can you try to accept what is is and try to stop worrying so much . Sorry if this sounds simplistic , I know how hard it can be .
wish you well
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Old 06-14-2016, 04:28 PM   #14 (permalink)
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excerpted from an anxiety forum :
Behaving in an overly apprehensive manner creates the physiological, psychological, and emotional state of anxiety. Anxiety activates the stress response, which stresses the body. A body that becomes overly stressed can exhibit symptoms of stress.

So anxiety symptoms are actually symptoms of stress. They are called anxiety symptoms because behaving apprehensively is the main source of the stress that overly stresses the body, which then, causes the body to exhibit symptoms.
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Old 06-14-2016, 04:43 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I relate. For many of us our families are our primary support system which provides us a sense of security. When that is in jeapordy, the anxiety doubles and triples. I got a taste of it a few years ago, and it was the beginning of getting serious about my drinking problem. You must re-earn (if that's a word) your trust in order to get your primary support system back. Hang in there.
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