Same here - anxiety was and is through the roof. I felt like the only thing that would quiet it is alcohol. Give your wife her space. She's entitled to feel the way that she feels. If you drink again or flip out, you'll only prove that you can't do this. One thing that has helped me during these extreme times is to do something. Get out, work in the yard, go for a run. Do things around the house. ANYTHING but ruminating in the thought process that is causing this anxiousness.
Click on my username and view my post from last Tuesday. I was a MESS and WROUGHT with anxiety - rightfully so. But a week later it's calmed down immensely. Hang tight and don't drink!