LadyBlue0527

Rar, looking at this realistically it sounds like you were putting good money after bad in your old car. Once a car starts having problems it's usually consistent. It used to irritate me that the amount of my overtime pay would always equal exactly what the current car problem was that needed to be fixed.

Is financing the amount of money that you did going to strap you so that bills aren't going to get paid?

Berrybean

And think of all that money that you won't be spending on alcohol!!

Rar

Though the additional payment will make things tighter and the revised budget doesn't have much wiggle room, it will not prevent me from making other payments, as I have savings to draw on if necessary. Thanks LadyBlue.

KissMyTiara

Are you sure you just aren't mostly upset your husband made a major purchase without your knowledge? Joint funds? That is what would make me quite angry.

Rar

For sure, though I've been drinking lots of sparkling water and seltzer. That should become lesser as more time passes, though. Also, I can return my husband's empty beer cans for (lots of) extra money too. - 5 cents a can or bottle in NY. LOL

Rar

All of our funds and property are joint. And yes, that is disturbing to me. You're probably right.

ScottFromWI

Glad you are drinking seltzer today! Hope you can get things worked out with the car - I am slightly curious about the purchase, wouldn't you have had to co-sign on it if it was purchased with financing? Usually any time there is credit issued to someone that is married both spouses need to sign the paperwork. I

Rar

Yes, Scott. He made the deal yesterday and I signed with him today. I could have backed out I suppose, but he convinced me we needed a dependable car going back and forth to Florida. He has a newer car also, but it is a sedan and doesn't have the cargo capacity of a SUV. We're in Florida for 7 months and so take 2 pets, golf clubs, etc. Although I signed, it wouldn't have been necessary as he could have put the title jointly, but obligate only himself on the loan papers.

KiKi0615

Man, alcoholics will use ANY reason to drink. I totally relate! I'm glad you are feeling better today. :-)

Fly N Buy

Resentments are the number one offender, the dubious luxury of normal (men) people. Fear of losing something I have (money) or fear of not getting something I want (security) are emotions I had to learn how to deal with.

Alcoholic wasn't the problem - it was my solution. I needed different solutions.
I am grateful today for understanding what prompted me to drink when I knew it was highly detrimental to my very existence and well being of those around me. Why did I continue to drink????

sva777

Glad you have the car situation figured our for now. It is still baffling to me though that a major purchase was made without your involvement when your names are both on the account...

In the future you may want to make sure all channels of communication are better between you and your husband. There is no reason you should be left out of a major decision until after the fact, especially when your struggling with sobriety and it is a major trigger.

Rar

He took my car in for inspection and learned of significant repairs and cost. He spoke with the salesman, established a selling price and trade-in price on my car (held jointly), subsequently verbally agreeing to purchase.. He came home and told me what had transpired. I started drinking and during the drinking, we discussed the issue and ultimately I agreed to go to the dealer the next day. The papers had not been completed yet as the title had to be turned in and financing arranged. I test drove the vehicle yesterday and felt more comfortable with the purchase. The loan document is in both names. However, Husband has enough individual income without mine to qualify for financing on his own. Nonetheless, my name was added to the note. In any event, he could have obligated only himself, putting the title in both names. I don't know 100% if he would have actually signed and traded without me. I like to think not. We have been married 42 years

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear you worked it out and even happier to hear you didn't drink!

thomas11

Rar, I must say that I think the move to purchase a newer, reliable vehicle at 0% interest was a good move. Hate to break down on your way to florida etc...

I used to own a lot of trucks for my business, and I've dumped a TON of money into repairs. Eventually I just had to bite the bullet and take on more debt. And out of service truck is worthless. Slightly different situation, but the same concept.

sva777

Glad you have it all sorted out and a nice new safe car for your drive to Florida. Congratulations on 42 years of marriage, that is quite an accomplishment. I can only hope I will have that many years with my wonderful wife.