thomas11

My wife work at a global corporation (50K employees). She's part of a small group and there is a physically disabled person in her group who has a drinking problem. He NEEDS this job as he is not physically able to do much else.

The group (including management) gets cc'd on an email from another organization needing some assistance. At 1am last night he decides to login to his work computer from home and reply to all, and the email starts "I'm sorry my boss is so f***ing weak....

He proceeds to say how the whole group (naming names) is worthless, he'd fire everyone if he could, the company sucks and so and so is the f***ing worst!

Needless to say he is now unemployed. Another casualty of alcohol.

Bailey3

That could have been any of us. Or, at least a lot of us. It's a crying shame.

Forte

Oh dear...

Wastinglife

I sent a drunken email to my boss once. Was fired Monday morning. When you think of all the clichés associated with alcoholism, I have pretty much met them all.

Venecia

I had a "reply all" oops once but it was mid-day in full sobriety, and without any profanity or personal attacks. It was to cohorts in multiple organizations and I criticized one of the orgs, thinking I was replying to only one sender. Still, had to extend a very sheepish apology. Argh.

Still, I cringe when I read about situations like the one where your wife works, Jeff. It makes me think that, had I continued down a bad path, it sounds like something I'd have done sooner or later.

Alcohol hurts our professional lives as well as the rest of our existence. I'm so grateful to be sober.

MissPerfumado

Eek. That's awful. I feel fortunate I had some vestige of restraint when it came to work emails but there were a couple of late evening work calls I vaguely remember and know I shouldn't have taken. I completely agree with Venecia though ... sooner or later, something much worse would've happened and I wouldn't be feeling fortunate anymore. Stories like these are a very useful reminder of why we need to stay sober! Thanks Jeff.

LadyBlue0527

I can't believe I'm seeing this post this morning. Anyone who's reading this please be thinking of me today. Alcohol, the disease that just keeps on affecting, until you realize just what it can do and walk away for good.

I was fired from a job in 2012 for a late night email that I sent to the two owners of the company, who were both also personal friends of mine. I remember waking up in the morning and once I came out of the fog the horror I felt. I hoped that it was a dream but no, there it was. I was so sick to my stomach. I did find another job but it was a lot less in money and it's made for a tough 4 years.

On March 14th of this year I was laid off because the company was having some financial difficulty but they asked that I not look too hard because I'd be the first one back when things turned around. I am now back working 20 hours a week. It's making it tough to pay bills. Hours will be added as revenue increases.

Guess who contacted me because they heard that I'd been laid off? The company that I had been fired from has my old position open and they want to talk to me. Although I sent that email that stupid night the owners know my work ethic and I had never been written up or had any issues outside of that night. They are willing to bring me back and give me a second chance. That phone call happened sometime towards the end of April and they said they'd contact me to have lunch when it was time.

On May 8th I was stupid and had a few drinks at a restaurant with a friend and got the bright idea to bring leftover food that was being thrown out from a buffet to the homeless people at a shelter intown. I ended up getting stopped and charged with a DUI.

So guess who starts calling me last week to get together for lunch? Indeed, the owners. I go to lunch with one of them today. That's going to fare really well. I was fired for an email that I sent while under the influence and because I don't know what the future holds for me I have to at least come clean with what's going on. My only hope is that I am sober (31 days now) and finally understand that there will never be a safe amount of alcohol for me. I am in counseling which I already intend to continue with even after the requirements are met. My plan is to not offer too much information but I don't think it's fair to not disclose because there will be court dates that I'll have to contend with.

So, yes, alcoholic stupidity strikes again and again and again.

I have (possibly had) the chance to regain a position that pays 20K more per year and I might, and most probably, effed it up because of alcohol.

We shall see how the lunch goes. If there's any chance that I can get this job back it would certainly be a gift from the universe and God.

I'm almost thinking that since this meeting is just a feeler that maybe I don't disclose?

Any thoughts on this?

MIRecovery

Alcohol and computers by design allow you to make bigger mistakes faster. When you mix the two it is a recipe for disaster

ChancesAh

I'd view the lunch as an opportunity to sell myself - not destroy myself.
If this boss argued with his wife last nighg or had some other personal issue he won't tell you about it as its his problem and as such something he needs to address.
In the same regard alcoholism is our problem whick we need to address. Telling a potential or actual boss seems like self sabotage to me just like that email.

LadyBlue0527

Chances, thank you for the reply. As I typed out my post this morning I stopped and thought about it.

This lunch is nothing more than a feeler. In fact, I think it's to see if I still harbor any resentment for how they went about firing me. I deserved what they did but it was done in a manner to stick a knife in and turn it. I had discussion with them about the email and I told them that I knew I was going to be written up for it. The exact words when I talked to them were "I think you're being harder on yourself than we're going to be on you". So I had heaved a sigh of relief that I wasn't getting fired. Even HR didn't know I was getting fired because on the day of my 6 year anniversary she sent out an email to the company saying congratulations. At the end of the day I was asked to come down to one of the owners office. HR, the two owners, and another principle were sitting there and I thought "Oh boy, I am really going to get it handed to me". Then I sat down. The owner looked at me and said "We've had much discussion about this and the decision was not made lightly but we need to immediately terminate you from the company". Due to the conversation that we had prior I seriously thought he was joking. I thought they were saying this to teach me a lesson. No, it was for real. They also made me sign a 6 month non compete which put me in a bad position because they knew that clients would be contacting me to try to hire me. In effect, they were not only firing me but also making it next to impossible to find any position in the surrounding area. They had every right to do what they did but the manner in which they did it was to seriously get me back for what I had said. To insert the knife and turn it. I did deserve to be fired but the way they did it was to inflict the same feelings in me that I had in them by the email.

It was admitted that they did this on purpose by one of them after the fact and it was done the wrong way.

Still, I made my mistake and they made theirs. So I really think this lunch is more about "If we hire you and give you access to our software can we be sure that you wouldn't do something to hurt us?". Which I wouldn't. Those days are over and we both made mistakes.

I think I'm just going to sit through this lunch and see where it goes. You're right, why would I purposely destroy my chances? No need to go there. If after then it starts to get serious then I can reconsider disclosing.

ALinNS

We can do some crazy things when we drink, I am thankful in a way that when I did, being a closet drinker, I was in the closet from the world, I stayed from the computer and texting on the phone, thank god because after a couple of drinks I black out and have no memory which is not good at all and I know my better judgement would be out the window.

I hope he gets help

Andrew

Michelle644

Oh, yeah....I would have done that.

August252015

One of my most cringe-worthy moments involves drunkenness at a work function. I was a highly successful sales person and we were on the annual awards trip, that year to HI, for the top sellers and such.

One night, at the big dinner, I had far too much to drink. All I remember is my boss firmly saying, "August" to get me to stop whatever I was saying, then his wife taking me to the ladies', then one of the staff from our company (I think the event planning people who managed the trip's activities) escorting me to my room. I have no idea what I said. All I know is that stellar employee goes to drunk mess and I didn't know how to make it up; the following night, my boss's wife has a similar episode and he is there with both of us (me not hung over bc I had been drinking again all that day, behaving ok) til he takes her to their room. We never talked about either night.

Everyone knew I was an alcoholic and I had gotten to the point I was a caricature of myself. I shudder when I think of how I embarassed myself. In the grand scheme of my alcoholic misdeeds, this is a small one- but huge emotionally bc I respected and truly cared for so many people who felt the same about me.

LadyBlue0527

Indeed. It's one thing when our idiotic tendencies are seen by our family and close friends. Not much is said. At least not to us directly. But when we hide our true alcoholic selves from the public and then put it all on display it's devastating.

Rar

RE cringe worthy moments (fortunately not mine): Years ago, my husband and I attended a promotional going away party for one of his colleagues. One of the gag gifts given to him was a little gadget that spewed obscene remarks. Well, when his superior (a really big whig), got up to give a speech, this guy kept pressing the gadget, which repeatedly said, "F *&^ you". My husband said, "I've seen a lot of careers ruined out of too much alcohol at company functions." Everyone was embarrassed and few laughed. Through the years, I remembered that and would limit myself to one drink at the most during functions.

thomas11

LadyBlue, I have some thoughts, since you asked. First, you must not drink again, but you know that already. Second, I'd have that lunch, and I would not mention a word about your recent DUI. Cross that bridge when you come to it. Demonstrate you are sober, and take your sobriety seriously. I think you want to, and I think you have to. 20K a year is a lot of money in this economy.

Lastly, for future reference, if you are being terminated, don't sign a damn thing. You were under no obligation to sign a non-compete. If the company had their **** together, you would have signed a non-compete when being hired, NOT when being terminated. Personally I would have laughed at them when they asked me to sign a non-compete on my way out the door. Anyway, lesson learned maybe? I hope you get the job.

uncorked

LadyBlue, I agree with Thomas. Unless this will be headline news and your former boss will eventually find out, I'd keep it under wraps. You're not drinking now and you can say that with confidence.

thomas11

update: The poor guy, HR would have given him an out if he would have called and admitted his problem. I suppose he was too embarrassed. The deadline passed and Legal gave him the ax. I wanted to contact him myself and tell him to do the right thing, but its not my place.

kittycat3

Perhaps she was given a severance and in order to receive it had to sign non-compete?

lovetolisten

My heart breaks for this person. The pain of making yet another embarrassing mistake is excruciating. Especially when you already hate yourself for drinking and now have such a consequence. I hope this is his rock bottom and things only go up for him from here :/