Alcoholic stupidity
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Originally Posted by August252015 
One of my most cringe-worthy moments involves drunkenness at a work function. I was a highly successful sales person and we were on the annual awards trip, that year to HI, for the top sellers and such.
One night, at the big dinner, I had far too much to drink. All I remember is my boss firmly saying, "August" to get me to stop whatever I was saying, then his wife taking me to the ladies', then one of the staff from our company (I think the event planning people who managed the trip's activities) escorting me to my room. I have no idea what I said. All I know is that stellar employee goes to drunk mess and I didn't know how to make it up; the following night, my boss's wife has a similar episode and he is there with both of us (me not hung over bc I had been drinking again all that day, behaving ok) til he takes her to their room. We never talked about either night.
Everyone knew I was an alcoholic and I had gotten to the point I was a caricature of myself. I shudder when I think of how I embarassed myself. In the grand scheme of my alcoholic misdeeds, this is a small one- but huge emotionally bc I respected and truly cared for so many people who felt the same about me.
One night, at the big dinner, I had far too much to drink. All I remember is my boss firmly saying, "August" to get me to stop whatever I was saying, then his wife taking me to the ladies', then one of the staff from our company (I think the event planning people who managed the trip's activities) escorting me to my room. I have no idea what I said. All I know is that stellar employee goes to drunk mess and I didn't know how to make it up; the following night, my boss's wife has a similar episode and he is there with both of us (me not hung over bc I had been drinking again all that day, behaving ok) til he takes her to their room. We never talked about either night.
Everyone knew I was an alcoholic and I had gotten to the point I was a caricature of myself. I shudder when I think of how I embarassed myself. In the grand scheme of my alcoholic misdeeds, this is a small one- but huge emotionally bc I respected and truly cared for so many people who felt the same about me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I've embarrassed myself at a work function too. As an intern at a company, I drank all day at a golf function like it was a frat party. I remember at the end of the day racing my golf cart around thinking it was funny. At the dinner afterwards I was a total goof - tipsy, saying inappropriate things. Had to get a ride home from my boss.
I was so horrified and ashamed of my behavior.
At another work function several years later, a customer got very drunk at the dinner and volunteered to participate in the magic show that was part of the evening's entertainment. She was up on stage acting completely drunk and the magician tried to work with her but ended up mystified as to how to handle it- the entire room was aware of how out of it she was and sort of laughing at her drunkeness but it was also awkward and hard to watch. Someone pulled her off stage and escorted her to her room. It was the talk of the rest of the trip, I felt so bad for her.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), there always seems to be someone who overdoes it at every work function and becomes the topic of gossip. Free booze is a factor and add work / stress / camraderie and you have the perfect storm. I'm so grateful to never have to worry about being "the drunk one" again!
I was so horrified and ashamed of my behavior.
At another work function several years later, a customer got very drunk at the dinner and volunteered to participate in the magic show that was part of the evening's entertainment. She was up on stage acting completely drunk and the magician tried to work with her but ended up mystified as to how to handle it- the entire room was aware of how out of it she was and sort of laughing at her drunkeness but it was also awkward and hard to watch. Someone pulled her off stage and escorted her to her room. It was the talk of the rest of the trip, I felt so bad for her.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), there always seems to be someone who overdoes it at every work function and becomes the topic of gossip. Free booze is a factor and add work / stress / camraderie and you have the perfect storm. I'm so grateful to never have to worry about being "the drunk one" again!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Stupidity or insanity? We know this kind of thing happens when we drink, yet we drink anyway.
Ladyblue, I was thinking about your lunch as an opportunity to heal old hurts with friends. (step 9) To do that I would be completely honest with them and see what can be done to clean my side of the street.
If I want to continue my relationship with them, there is no room for any form of dishonesty. You may not be up to this step, but read the big book. We must make our amends regadless of what the personal consequences might be, and we don't discuss their faults, though they may be many.
Ladyblue, I was thinking about your lunch as an opportunity to heal old hurts with friends. (step 9) To do that I would be completely honest with them and see what can be done to clean my side of the street.
If I want to continue my relationship with them, there is no room for any form of dishonesty. You may not be up to this step, but read the big book. We must make our amends regadless of what the personal consequences might be, and we don't discuss their faults, though they may be many.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Gottalife, are you saying she should share about her DWI at this lunch?
I agree with your post about honesty, but I do not think that it means you need to reveal it at this lunch. I don't see why it is relevant unless they are offering you a job and it would impact your ability to perform it or is a question asked during the application process. I'd make sure they want you and that you want to go back, before sharing something private that could be hurtful to you if it got out.
I agree with your post about honesty, but I do not think that it means you need to reveal it at this lunch. I don't see why it is relevant unless they are offering you a job and it would impact your ability to perform it or is a question asked during the application process. I'd make sure they want you and that you want to go back, before sharing something private that could be hurtful to you if it got out.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Gottalife I completely get where you're coming from. There will be a day that I can talk to him about this and it will come forward. If employment had been imminent I would have disclosed yesterday.
The meeting was more geared towards finding out if I have any resentments for them firing me before consideration will be taken. He left that lunch meeting knowing that only do I not but I also made amends for my behavior.
The position they are thinking of bringing me back into will not be available until this late fall. This will be past the point where I'll know the full ramifications of what my debt to society for this incident will be. This job will bring me close to 20k more than I would be making now were I full time.
I can't see throwing information to him that he doesn't need at this point and if anything it could kill my chances of getting back there. The information will be disclosed but I didn't see yesterday as an appropriate time.
Thoughts?
The meeting was more geared towards finding out if I have any resentments for them firing me before consideration will be taken. He left that lunch meeting knowing that only do I not but I also made amends for my behavior.
The position they are thinking of bringing me back into will not be available until this late fall. This will be past the point where I'll know the full ramifications of what my debt to society for this incident will be. This job will bring me close to 20k more than I would be making now were I full time.
I can't see throwing information to him that he doesn't need at this point and if anything it could kill my chances of getting back there. The information will be disclosed but I didn't see yesterday as an appropriate time.
Thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Lady blue, I agree with your decision. The DWI is not relevant at this time. In my opinion being honest in the "program" does not mean we have to disclose our drinking histories and DWIs to everyone we sit down to lunch with. You can disclose this if and when it becomes essential, during the application process.
I don't see that as being dishonest whatsoever. If I told every potential employer I was alcoholic and had a DWI before getting a chance to interview I'm certain it would kill my chances of getting that interview. Until an offer is made and accepted I don't see why it needs to be mentioned upfront. Of course there could be extenuating circumstances where it's appropriate but I don't see that here....
Way to go LB!
I don't see that as being dishonest whatsoever. If I told every potential employer I was alcoholic and had a DWI before getting a chance to interview I'm certain it would kill my chances of getting that interview. Until an offer is made and accepted I don't see why it needs to be mentioned upfront. Of course there could be extenuating circumstances where it's appropriate but I don't see that here....
Way to go LB!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
Gottalife I completely get where you're coming from. There will be a day that I can talk to him about this and it will come forward. If employment had been imminent I would have disclosed yesterday.
The meeting was more geared towards finding out if I have any resentments for them firing me before consideration will be taken. He left that lunch meeting knowing that only do I not but I also made amends for my behavior.
The position they are thinking of bringing me back into will not be available until this late fall. This will be past the point where I'll know the full ramifications of what my debt to society for this incident will be. This job will bring me close to 20k more than I would be making now were I full time.
I can't see throwing information to him that he doesn't need at this point and if anything it could kill my chances of getting back there. The information will be disclosed but I didn't see yesterday as an appropriate time.
Thoughts?
The meeting was more geared towards finding out if I have any resentments for them firing me before consideration will be taken. He left that lunch meeting knowing that only do I not but I also made amends for my behavior.
The position they are thinking of bringing me back into will not be available until this late fall. This will be past the point where I'll know the full ramifications of what my debt to society for this incident will be. This job will bring me close to 20k more than I would be making now were I full time.
I can't see throwing information to him that he doesn't need at this point and if anything it could kill my chances of getting back there. The information will be disclosed but I didn't see yesterday as an appropriate time.
Thoughts?
To me, you have a story of classic alcoholism which culminated in a DUI. It might not be relevant to a regular employer, but you have history with these folks. I am thinking that if something is held back when you are explaining what your problem has been, it might come back to bite you in the future. Equally it might not.
I also made the proviso that I don't know which step you are on. It just seemed an opportunity to do some healing, but of course 9th steps should not be taken lightly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 411
The original post reminds me of when I got fired....about 15 years ago now...for leaving a handwritten note to a co-worker in which I said some nasty things about a supervisor I didn't like. I think I even referred to her as "her majesty." Lol. Don't think I was drunk or hungover when I did this, but just had a sh*&$# attitude about life generally :/
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
I'm glad you got a chance to put closure on a painful event, and potentially get your life and financial situation turned around. The most important part of the whole thing is getting a plan in place to support you in quitting drinking.
Alcohol has the potential to ruin every single aspect of our lives, including our ability to make a living. It is such a weight that pulls us down.
Reading this thread brings home the collective devastation that alcohol has done in our lives and the lives of people we know. I've stayed close to SR in the 18 months I've been sober, and there's not a day that goes by that I am not grateful I've left drinking behind forever.
Alcohol has the potential to ruin every single aspect of our lives, including our ability to make a living. It is such a weight that pulls us down.
Reading this thread brings home the collective devastation that alcohol has done in our lives and the lives of people we know. I've stayed close to SR in the 18 months I've been sober, and there's not a day that goes by that I am not grateful I've left drinking behind forever.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
Gottalife I completely get where you're coming from. There will be a day that I can talk to him about this and it will come forward. If employment had been imminent I would have disclosed yesterday.
The meeting was more geared towards finding out if I have any resentments for them firing me before consideration will be taken. He left that lunch meeting knowing that only do I not but I also made amends for my behavior.
The position they are thinking of bringing me back into will not be available until this late fall. This will be past the point where I'll know the full ramifications of what my debt to society for this incident will be. This job will bring me close to 20k more than I would be making now were I full time.
I can't see throwing information to him that he doesn't need at this point and if anything it could kill my chances of getting back there. The information will be disclosed but I didn't see yesterday as an appropriate time.
Thoughts?
The meeting was more geared towards finding out if I have any resentments for them firing me before consideration will be taken. He left that lunch meeting knowing that only do I not but I also made amends for my behavior.
The position they are thinking of bringing me back into will not be available until this late fall. This will be past the point where I'll know the full ramifications of what my debt to society for this incident will be. This job will bring me close to 20k more than I would be making now were I full time.
I can't see throwing information to him that he doesn't need at this point and if anything it could kill my chances of getting back there. The information will be disclosed but I didn't see yesterday as an appropriate time.
Thoughts?
If it came to that, that is when I'd open up and tell them after that incident you began your (permanent) sobriety.
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