Finallyrdy

Day 9. Sitting in my room and feeling super depressed and anxious. I don't have the urge to drink, I just suck at dealing with my emotions. I also lost my license (DUI), so I can't really go anywhere. Just feeling sorry for myself. Lately I hate going on social media, seeing pictures of my friends drinking and out and about definitely does not help anything. I just wish I could shut my brain up without the use of substances.

entropy1964

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. Your experience is very common, especially in early early days.

I know that getting outside helps me a lot. Its the last thing I want to do when I'm wallowing, but it always helps. Can you go for a walk?

Finallyrdy

I can go for a walk. You are correct, it is the last thing that I want to do in my state of mind. But I will go and hopefully feel better.

Wastinglife

I am in the same place. day 8, depressed and anxious. I was out for a walk this morning in beautiful sunny weather and it seemed like I had a rain cloud over just me. I just couldn't feel any sort of enjoyment. My brain needs some rewiring because I can't seem to experience pleasure without alcohol. I suppose that's common for early recovery

hpdw

That awful depression and brain fog ! I understand how you feel . I'm 19 days and I think it was about 12-14 days when I started to see the depression lift ( everyone is different though ) and now my mood is much clearer and positive .
What helped me was sorting out the garden for summer , it was so hard but I forced myself to do it . Try and do things if you can ,anything at all except wallowing ( I know its easier said than done ) , Day 9 is fantastic too .

Finallyrdy

Just got back from a walk/ jog. Feel a little bit better. Those endorphins are a powerful thing. I agree, I feel like before I would only
look forward to activities that involved alcohol, and now it's like... What the heck is there to enjoy? I know just two days ago I posted about how much fun I had at dinner, I think my brain is just so up and down right now. I also went through a breakup a month ago, and never really dealt with is. I thought I had, but I guess just chugging wine is not dealing. I know he was not for me, but keep thinking maybe it was my fault because of the drinking. Ohhh the brain is a powerful thing. The day seems so long when you aren't pining away the hours until an appropriate drinking time. I am also having surgery this week, so just so much going on at once. Sorry for the stream of thoughts, I am just hoping putting them out into the world somehow helps me cope.

least

Nine days sober is really early in recovery. Give yourself more sober time for your emotions to even out. It will get better.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 9 know these feelings will pass tomorrow is a new day & double digits

Anna

I'm glad you posted and it's tough in early recovery to manage all the emotions. I'm a huge fan of walking for mental and physical health. Do you have a bike? Biking can be lots of fun, too. I hope you continue to try to do things you enjoy, and I hope that your surgery goes well this week.

Vegit8

I totally get where you are coming from - I'm on day 1 (day 2 if you count yesterday, which I'm not as the only reason I didn't drink was because I was way to sick from getting completely faced again) and I have no motivation. It's a beautiful day out, and I have 1,000,000 things I need to do, like oh say, shower, but I'm scared if I get cleaned up I'll go to the store and...... Well, you know....

Finallyrdy

I actually don't have a bike. But maybe it is something to consider. I usually go to the gym, but cannot currently get there...recurring theme of my life. I am a little worried about the surgery because I am not supposed to exercise for two weeks, but I am sure some light walking would be okay. I just know when I don't have anything to do is when I get depressed. I am slowly realizing how I really do not have any hobbies, so I am thinking that once I get my license back I may try to take some sort of class where I am with other people, and it does not revolve around losing my mind.

teatreeoil007

Hang in there... We're with you..... Feels kinda yucky now but stay sober no matter what... You can do it ✌🏻️

Dee74

how are you feeling now finallyrdy?

D

Finallyrdy

I'm okay. Not as depressed and anxious as before. Actually reading "sober is the new black" which is an excellent book. Just got off the phone with a friend who was trying to convince me that I don't have an alcohol problem. They were asking me "how many days a week do you drink before noon?" I was pretty adamant that that does not define it at all, it is the fact that I would drink two bottles of wine by myself on a weeknight just because. Then he was saying that my life is not going to be better without alcohol. I think I just need to keep this to myself for awhile. I 100% know that I have a problem. And I know that it may be tough, but life has to be better without waking up so many days with regret and feeling so nauseous and hung over. It may not be easier, but it has to be better.

teatreeoil007

You're right you will feel better, and you're being realistic that life may not be easier. BUT, if you FEEL better, that's gonna impact a whole lot of other things in your life in a good way.