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My disease

Old 05-19-2016, 06:05 AM
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My disease

Disease is a word I associate with things like cancer, emphysema, horrible illnesses I see on TV....std's.

I was thinking this morning, I really have a "disease." Then immediately thought of "accepting the things I cannot change." The bell went off. Wow. I have heard and said that prayer a million times and it really never clicked. I guess I have truly accepted Step one. Harder then I thought.

I have a disease. I can't ignore it, it doesn't go away. I can mask it, but eventually this disease manifests 10 times worse and my shame, guilt and depression soar.

I have a disease. Alcoholism. I went sober before for 4 months and I really never thought I had a "disease." That is what ails me. I know that path and through divine intervention I see where it ends and I don't want to go there.

I have NO CLUE where this path of sobriety will lead me, but I am ready to go there. I have never woken up sober and said "I regret not drinking." I love waking up sober. I want to enjoy my life. My 39th bday is in a couple weeks. My gift to myself is to come face to face with my disease. Embrace it because it is a part of who I am, and spend the next part of my life actually feeling it.

Thanks for reading. Here's to day 4.
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Old 05-19-2016, 06:38 AM
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Good thinking! I don't think you'll ever regret being sober and there isn't anything I can think of that alcohol doesn't make worse.
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Old 05-19-2016, 07:11 AM
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I've never woken up sober and feeling good, wishing I had drank the night before.
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Old 05-19-2016, 08:12 AM
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Good job Razorblade. We can't change how we are wired, but we can choose not to drink. You'll never regret waking up sober.
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Old 05-19-2016, 01:01 PM
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Here's to day 4, indeed!!!!

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Old 05-19-2016, 01:19 PM
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Recovery is a learning process and sometimes
it takes time to learn something new, yet extremely
important in living a healthy, happy, honest way
of life one day at a time.

With 25 yrs of many one days at a time
added together sober, I still remain teachable
today.

Over the years life continues to throw me
a curve ball and if im not ready for it, it will
strike me out that moment or day. So, im
prepared with lots of recovery tools and
continue to brush up on my lessons to be
ready for anything life throws my way.

Continue to build a strong solid foundation
in recovery to live your life upon for many
one days sober for yrs to come and enjoy
the rewards of the Promises granted to us.
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Old 05-19-2016, 02:23 PM
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Well whatever it's called it needs daily treatment....condition, disease, addiction. Whatever works and makes things click. Years ago, in rehab, one of the counselors said "you're not bad, you're sick". I wanted to throat punch her...I was very angry there. Guess what? She was right.

Congrats on day 4!
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Old 05-19-2016, 04:31 PM
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I went to my second meeting today, everyone was a lot older than me and has a good amount of time sober. They were really great and welcoming. I will be going to different meeting places, depending where I am...(home/work) etc. Day four has been good.

My home life will be upside down. I'm going one day at a time. Learning to anyway. Tomorrow never comes. Thank you everyone!
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Old 05-19-2016, 04:37 PM
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Good job on Day 4.

Yes, you have a disease, but it can be managed by not drinking and you can have a wonderful life.
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Old 05-19-2016, 04:53 PM
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Keep in mind, there is no cure for this disease, but you can keep it in permanent remission by not drinking. And you will thank yourself down the road.
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Old 05-19-2016, 05:13 PM
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Congrats on the ahh ha moment. Whatever it is I have it and after listening to the stories of many others it sure sounds like they have it to. As our brains start to unfog the moments of clarity keep coming and over time we become different people
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Old 05-19-2016, 05:16 PM
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Thank you for being part of us, Razorblade. Proud of you for making Day 4.
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