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Old 05-17-2016, 12:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Trouble


The house is a bloody war zone, my girlfriend is calling me a liar again saying I'm not a gentleman and a terrible son. She doesn't want kids with me its all coming out.

I'm getting driven out of my own home, I'm going to get beer this is the way out tonight
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Old 05-17-2016, 12:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Drinking at the problem won't solve anything, and will just make you feel even worse (about the problem and about yourself) tomorrow. Just a thought.
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Old 05-17-2016, 12:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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If you feel like you need to escape, maybe the place to go is rehab where you could get some therapy?
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Old 05-17-2016, 12:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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hey, I read through some of your post.

it'd be patronizing to say you're in a situation with any obvious, non-Ugly solution.

however, getting drunk will only 'solve' the problem for tonight, and they will come roaring back tomorrow, and you won't feel like solving them tomorrow, either.

sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to.
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Old 05-17-2016, 12:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stewy84 View Post
I'm going to get beer this is the way out tonight
That's a big cop-out, Stewy.

There are plenty of ways to deal with a stressful situation. This site alone is full of them. I hope you'll choose a healthier path.
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Old 05-17-2016, 12:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Trouble--- that is just what it will be if you go and get beer tonight.... just sayin'
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Old 05-17-2016, 12:30 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Don't do it Stewy. This is just your AV's way of convincing you that you get a get-out-of-jail-free card... there is no free card. Take yourself back to when you were drinking, how you felt, all of the destruction and darkness it brought with it. We wouldn't be here, at SR, if drinking brought us anything other than severe pain.

You're better than drinking... stay strong, don't let the drink, your AV or an antagonizing situation win.
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Old 05-17-2016, 12:53 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Stewy, you know that won't help at all. And, you know it will make you feel worse in the end. You can deal with your girlfriend and the issues involved, even though it's hard. You can do it!
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Old 05-17-2016, 02:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Call your counselor or go to a meeting Stewy. Or call a friend or family that you might be able to speak with.

Of all the choices you could make now, the ONLY one that would be a horrendous mistake would be to drink. I hope you don't.
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Stewy, you know those "problems" will still be there when you sober up....and you'll likely feel crappy. Check in when you can.
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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youre choosing to make alcohol the way out.
its not the only way.
and IF you drink, the problems will STILL be there and worse.

sure hope you dont drink.
tneres no solutions in a bottle
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Beers not the way out - it's just a way of avoiding the problem, of tolerating the intolerable.

If the problem has gotten this serious then at least one of you needs to consult a lawyer Stewy.

D
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:40 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Drinking is only go to show her what a jackass you CAN be .....and is not a solution. how about man up, go to your separate corners, and wait til you can both talk RATIONALLY. you've been itching for an excuse for a while now......DON'T DO IT.
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
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You can't be driven out of your home. It's yours.

You can't solve your problems with alcohol.

Hang in there, Stewy. Keep talking. To us, to anyone that will listen.
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Old 05-17-2016, 04:00 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I'm not drinking no way, I'm going to get through this mess sober and face things head on as that's the responsible way of tackling it. Thank you to you all for getting me through tonight I owe you all a debt of gratitude.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better, I'm going to aim to be rational at all costs
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Old 05-17-2016, 04:05 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Sorry things are like this Stewy if I can ever help by listening I'm there
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Old 05-17-2016, 06:50 PM   #17 (permalink)
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A few people on SR have recently gotten some pretty straightforward advice, some of which was around not acting on all the good suggestions others have made for them here. Have you considered that this may also be the case with you?

You generally post only when something stressful or otherwise unwanted is occurring in your life (which is a good thing, the posting part), but more or less disappear in between conflicts. I wonder whether or not your GF experiences something similar. It's one thing here on SR, where people are generally supportive and sympathetic with your plight, but living with someone is a whole different matter. From what I've been reading, she's essentially told you that whatever it is that you're doing or not doing is unacceptable for her.

Building a healthy and mutually-beneficial relationship doesn't abide by formulas, the rules of logic, or what should be happening. It's much more about the honest expression of our feelings, and a willingness to be open, especially open to change.

If you feel that you cannot or will not do what your GF asks, or even feel resentful when she does ask or complain, then something's gotta give.
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Old 05-17-2016, 07:01 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Stewy, I just read through your thread & was so afraid you were going to cave. I'm very thankful you posted about what was going on. I poured alcohol over my troubles for years, only to find them multiplying. Drinking only increased my anxiety & made me weak - full of doubt. You don't need it.
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Old 05-17-2016, 07:43 PM   #19 (permalink)
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stewy, THANK YOU for choosing NOT to drink. you showed that it CAN be done.....you got thru it.....and remain committed to sobriety.
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Old 05-17-2016, 07:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Go, Stewy! You go!
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