Month and a half .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nyc
Posts: 13
Month and a half .
Well after my last run in with the law, my 3rd I finally had enough. I'm 37 M
I'm on probation for 3 years so I figure if cannt drink even in my own house , might as well kill myself or get sober.
We I quit drinking . Month and a half now. This is the longest period since I was 20 probably and I'm pushing 37 at this point. Last few years I'd drink a pint or more almost every day. On weekends, if I was left alone, drinking from 11 am till dark would not bother me much. That did happen a few times and I was actually amazed at my own self. Mind you I was very productive when drinking, cooking , cleaning. Working on cars. Garden. Stuff like that. Never missed work, spent time with my daughter and so on. A fully functional bastard. Drinking alone was my thing. I'd drink before going out. I'd make sure I had enough and so on. I'm sure its a familiar tune.
The good: no more hangovers. Headaches, horrible days at work, fights with wife, bad memmory etc.
wife loves me again, warm dinner every evening, says I'm back to my normal good me. I'm less moody. Oh and I sleep soooooooo much better .
Also I don't miss hiding bottles all over the house.
Bad: well I'd be a liar if I said I don't miss drinking. I miss the Mayham , the music during drinking and so on. I live in NYC and I pass 30 bars before I get to my train on the way from work.
Also zero sex drive. I mean zero
I used to smoke 2 cigs a day, now it's 4-5 and it has to be with coffee.
Sugar intake is also higher now. I never cared for sweets Before, now I'm on a hunt for them like a wolf.
In the end I think I'll stay off the booze for a while, for the probation period for sure. Moderation doesn't work for me, it's not what I do. I have a daughter now and I should be healthier for her.
Regrets are hard to live with, but I figure if I change things around now , maybe there is some chance of feeling better about this crap.
Biggest problem is I have no outlet, no way to say F it all and everyone in it like I used to. Also with summer here and everyone hanging out in bars, having fun and all, I miss going out on a weekend with my wife, going to jazz bars and enjoying a booze filled night.
Anyhow. So month and a half, summer is here and I'll start biking more, maybe pick up guitar again, work out do things to fill in time.
I'm on probation for 3 years so I figure if cannt drink even in my own house , might as well kill myself or get sober.
We I quit drinking . Month and a half now. This is the longest period since I was 20 probably and I'm pushing 37 at this point. Last few years I'd drink a pint or more almost every day. On weekends, if I was left alone, drinking from 11 am till dark would not bother me much. That did happen a few times and I was actually amazed at my own self. Mind you I was very productive when drinking, cooking , cleaning. Working on cars. Garden. Stuff like that. Never missed work, spent time with my daughter and so on. A fully functional bastard. Drinking alone was my thing. I'd drink before going out. I'd make sure I had enough and so on. I'm sure its a familiar tune.
The good: no more hangovers. Headaches, horrible days at work, fights with wife, bad memmory etc.
wife loves me again, warm dinner every evening, says I'm back to my normal good me. I'm less moody. Oh and I sleep soooooooo much better .
Also I don't miss hiding bottles all over the house.
Bad: well I'd be a liar if I said I don't miss drinking. I miss the Mayham , the music during drinking and so on. I live in NYC and I pass 30 bars before I get to my train on the way from work.
Also zero sex drive. I mean zero
I used to smoke 2 cigs a day, now it's 4-5 and it has to be with coffee.
Sugar intake is also higher now. I never cared for sweets Before, now I'm on a hunt for them like a wolf.
In the end I think I'll stay off the booze for a while, for the probation period for sure. Moderation doesn't work for me, it's not what I do. I have a daughter now and I should be healthier for her.
Regrets are hard to live with, but I figure if I change things around now , maybe there is some chance of feeling better about this crap.
Biggest problem is I have no outlet, no way to say F it all and everyone in it like I used to. Also with summer here and everyone hanging out in bars, having fun and all, I miss going out on a weekend with my wife, going to jazz bars and enjoying a booze filled night.
Anyhow. So month and a half, summer is here and I'll start biking more, maybe pick up guitar again, work out do things to fill in time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
In the end I think I'll stay off the booze for a while, for the probation period for sure.
I wanted real change, so I had to make real changes.
My relationship was with alcohol was toxic, and always would be - the sooner I admitted that the better off I was.
I thought I was functional too - by the end I was drinking all day every day but I was still functional. Funny how the goalposts move...
If you really value your relationships with your loved ones, give some thought to giving it up for good.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Congrats! 45 days (ish) is great.
I totally get the need to blow off steam. And I get the need to blow it off in a way that is dangerous, edgy, self defeating. If you are alcoholic and you keep drinking you'll do that enough to fulfill your prophecy. You will get hurt, hurt someone else and /or lose everything. Trust me. So I guess the trick is to figure out why the need is there to do this and why you can't blow steam off in a way that satisfies the endorphin rush while not endangering yourself and others. But believe me, I get it. I'm 50 however and blowing off steam for me can equal death. Kind of not an option when it truly becomes a reality...not just words.
Stick with it.
I totally get the need to blow off steam. And I get the need to blow it off in a way that is dangerous, edgy, self defeating. If you are alcoholic and you keep drinking you'll do that enough to fulfill your prophecy. You will get hurt, hurt someone else and /or lose everything. Trust me. So I guess the trick is to figure out why the need is there to do this and why you can't blow steam off in a way that satisfies the endorphin rush while not endangering yourself and others. But believe me, I get it. I'm 50 however and blowing off steam for me can equal death. Kind of not an option when it truly becomes a reality...not just words.
Stick with it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nyc
Posts: 13
Thanks guys.
Well the cravings are minimal. Not enough for me to go to a liquor store and buy. I'd feel like a loser if I did as id have to hide my drinking.
At first I was angry about the restriction, how dare someone tell me what to do. But deep inside I knew things were going in the wrong direction. Trust me, probation was not the decisive factor to quit drinking. I just thought that enough is enough. It was pure madness. How much crap can one get away with. So while I'm on probation why not kick it.
Also, I wanted to be a better father, so if booze had to go then so be it.
Since I quit, we had family gatherings, friends come by, BBqs. People were having wine and I didn't mind at all.
I actually liked booze around me and me not drinking, made me feel more powerful. My wife even offered me ONE glass of wine and I declined.
Life as an introvert is not always easy, but then word EASY should not even be in a grown ups vocabulary.
All I know is, booze has got me into plenty of legal trouble which doesn't bother me as I never cared for law, but it did cost me an arm and a leg which does bother me a Lot, this is money I could have invested, spent on family and so on. So if booze is a common denominator, then it has to go. That's where I stand now. And with age , it's harder to swallow your mistakes, regrets linger on a lot longer too.
Well the cravings are minimal. Not enough for me to go to a liquor store and buy. I'd feel like a loser if I did as id have to hide my drinking.
At first I was angry about the restriction, how dare someone tell me what to do. But deep inside I knew things were going in the wrong direction. Trust me, probation was not the decisive factor to quit drinking. I just thought that enough is enough. It was pure madness. How much crap can one get away with. So while I'm on probation why not kick it.
Also, I wanted to be a better father, so if booze had to go then so be it.
Since I quit, we had family gatherings, friends come by, BBqs. People were having wine and I didn't mind at all.
I actually liked booze around me and me not drinking, made me feel more powerful. My wife even offered me ONE glass of wine and I declined.
Life as an introvert is not always easy, but then word EASY should not even be in a grown ups vocabulary.
All I know is, booze has got me into plenty of legal trouble which doesn't bother me as I never cared for law, but it did cost me an arm and a leg which does bother me a Lot, this is money I could have invested, spent on family and so on. So if booze is a common denominator, then it has to go. That's where I stand now. And with age , it's harder to swallow your mistakes, regrets linger on a lot longer too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 376
Congrats. You say "Moderation doesn't work for me". I think that says it all right there. It was the same with me - I just can't moderate when drinking no matter what I told myself. So I quite for good - on 6 months now.
I also had the 'this isn't fair' moments once the weather turned nice but the benefits of staying sober out weigh slipping back into the miserable drinking cycle.
I also had the 'this isn't fair' moments once the weather turned nice but the benefits of staying sober out weigh slipping back into the miserable drinking cycle.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
" I have a daughter now and I should be healthier for her. "
do you think if you started drinking any time you would be healthier for her?
or would staying sober, learning to have an enjoyable, responsable life without alcohol be a better example for her?
do you think if you started drinking any time you would be healthier for her?
or would staying sober, learning to have an enjoyable, responsable life without alcohol be a better example for her?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nyc
Posts: 13
I agree. I just cannt believe that I'll never be able to go out to a concert or jazz show and not enjoy a drink. So I keep saying if I want one I'll have it, but deep inside I know it will not happen. And somehow it Ok.
I'm more set to stay sober and do all the cool things I've been wanting to do with our little one who is 3.5 years old now.
Soon we can go biking, hiking , camping together. Go for long road trips and such. As long as I can do that I will be ok.
I realized, as long as I stay busy my mind is not thinking about booze. So far it's working.
I'm more set to stay sober and do all the cool things I've been wanting to do with our little one who is 3.5 years old now.
Soon we can go biking, hiking , camping together. Go for long road trips and such. As long as I can do that I will be ok.
I realized, as long as I stay busy my mind is not thinking about booze. So far it's working.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
there was much more to it for me than staying busy to keep my mind off drinking, which it took a few months for the craving,compulsion and obsession to leave.
i had to look at why i drank- the causes and conditions. i had to do a lot of footwork on changing my attitude and perceptions,too.
ive been to a few concerts in sobriety. had a great time at each one without drinking. one thing i noticed at them:
not EVERYONE there was drinking.LOTS of people enjoying the concert sober.
it was just my perception that everyone drank at concerts and i had to,too to have a good time.
i had to look at why i drank- the causes and conditions. i had to do a lot of footwork on changing my attitude and perceptions,too.
ive been to a few concerts in sobriety. had a great time at each one without drinking. one thing i noticed at them:
not EVERYONE there was drinking.LOTS of people enjoying the concert sober.
it was just my perception that everyone drank at concerts and i had to,too to have a good time.
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