Nofearnobeer

The moment you realize you still have a job and your family yet lost yourself somewhere. Spent last 10 years drinking and working to get through some tough stuff...only thing I know how to do sober is work...the rest is ridden with guilt and anxiety...guilt being the worst...and why in the can't I talk myself into doing the things I enjoy...even when I enjoyed them long before beer? I get anxiety attacks when I even contemplate doing anything but work and sleep....have I attached beer as a requirement to enjoy anything without anxiety? How do you fix that?

MyShadow

Same boat here, but I drank for 25yrs. My plan is to do the things I love doing with a glass of ice tea instead of a beer. Because I have spent too much time having a drink wishing I was doing something else I know I wanted to do, if I wasn't drinking. It's a crazy Catch-22.

Ruby2

I don't know how long you've been sober but it took me months and months until I even started to relax, doing the things I enjoyed doing. I have always read a lot. When I was a kid I always had my nose in a book. After I started drinking I always associated reading with drinking. Once I stopped, it was at least six months until I finally started reading for pleasure without having anxiety.

Give yourself time. Start small and work your way up. In the beginning, I was grateful for the surety that my work routine enforced. I gradually added to that.

ScottFromWI

I found the same thing - and while quitting drinking helped some, I had to accept that I had anxiety as well. I've been working through therapy, mindfulness and some self help and it's helping a lot.

So your answer to "how do you fix it?", first you need to know what to fix, right? If you think anxiety is a problem, see a therapist and find out if it really is. Just like a medical doctor can diagnose the flu or diabetes, a therapist can diaganose anxiety, depression OCD, etc. Then you can get working on fixing it.

PaperDolls

I had similar problems. I had to seek the help of a doctor. I used and needed medications as well as therapy. I also attended lots and lots of AA meetings.

Turtle76

Same here. I was just talking with my sponsor about this last night. I can't seem to do anything I used to do without thinking about wine and getting tense. I used to love cooking... but I just cant bring myself to do that these days. I even associate cleaning my house with wine. I invited my sponsor to my house just to get the motivation to clean it. She suggested starting a brand new hobby. Something I could never associate with drinking. For now, i fill my free time with lots of long walks. My dog is one happy pup that his momma got sober. 😀

Nofearnobeer

Thanks ya'll. Just been diagnosed with GAD yesterday....And I know for a fact that my ADHD is off the hook...unmedicated for years....adderall may fix half of this...3years of sleep apnea on that and some good ole OCD on top(I love everything to be somewhat linear). When I drank I ignored chaos...like my therapist said, been self medicating too long....oooof folks say it will get better...pray it does...may need to get a family therapist to help us realign as a family too...well see where it goes....and hoping this emotional numbers dissipates. That's the worst(been told what I have gone through and witnessed in 6 years really requires specialized support and training to work through...I used beer instead)

Nofearnobeer

Turtle...I get that...its crazy..,I enjoy doing things that I do....just can't replace these things...gotta find a way to work through them...very frustrating...doesn't make any dang sense to get stressed doing you enjoy...

ScottFromWI

Same for me at 45 years old, had never been to a therapist in my life. Now you know where to start...that's half the battle. Just like sobriety, dealing with GAD ( or any psychological disorder ), it requires acceptance and work by you. And there is no magic pill or technique that will simply make it all go away - but there are LOTS of things that can make it far easier to live with. Best of luck!

Nofearnobeer

Scott. Yeah. What's up with that? I am 45 as well...never dealt with having anxiety about anything in my life....now have anxiety about everything...

ScottFromWI

I don't know either, but i do know that you can do something about it. Most likely I have always been anxious but quite frankly this is the first extended period of my adult life that I haven't been drinking every day. So it's kind of a double whammy...i basically "self medicated" my anxiety with alcohol daily from my late teens until my early 40s. I'm really learning how to live my life as an adult and deal with my anxiety now.

I can say that I've learned a lot of great things in therapy. I've actuallly switched to different one in the past 6 months that I really like, and even though I only go about once a month I learn something new every time.

I basically have a "self care" plan that encompasses several areas of my life - Mind/Body/Spirit/Emotion/Work and Relationships - and I have to fill in the blanks with activities I can do that fulfill each of those areas. I don't do them all every day of course but constantly looking for ways to fill the gaps in each of those areas really helps with my anxiety.

Nofearnobeer

Same here. Drank myself through a great job. Decent house. Great family. Now to tired and ridden with anxiety to enjoy any of it..probably some depression tossedin...but the fatigue is the worst...had to forego my son's birthday movie outing because I couldn't stop shaking...it's really ripping me apart lately.

Jillian2563

Hey - I just wanted to say I think you are doing great. I hope all the health issues get better for you soon. Anxiety is a B!

Anna

I think a lot of us used alcohol as a way to cope with mental issues. I know I did. I had tried to manage anxiety and depression for years and when things became unmanageable, I turned to alcohol. Big mistake. I have been diagnosed and treated for depression. For me, it levels the playing field. I hope it does the same for you. Good for you for working on yourself and your family.