Hawkeye13

Glad to see you again LB

What's the new and improved plan?

D122y

Lady,

Welcome back....

19 months clean and a relapse....

Was it 1 day or a week long binge?

You were physically free...what made you decide to drink?

LadyBlue0527

I was in a situation where there was alcohol use and I let the AV in. I remember the fright I felt when I took that first drink. Then, as many here have experienced, I got away with it for a while. Or did I? I would be lying if I told you that there weren't the same crap incidents there always was when I drank. But, I denied it as all alcoholics do. I am an entirely different person when I drink. It didn't take long until it was out of control and I was making poor decisions. My day was coming and it did. This has been ongoing for over a year. I have no control when it comes to alcohol, I never have and I never will. So, for anyone who thinks they can pick up and somehow it will be different that's a big fat lie.

Another thing that doesn't help is that I'm not physically addicted, at least not in the way where when I stop I get the shakes or am in any kind of physical trouble from the withdrawal. I am psychologically and emotionally addicted. I think that I need it to have fun. That to not be able to drink denies me what I see other people doing. Yet more lies I tell myself. The above doesn't make me any different than any other alcoholic. Still the same outcome and never good.

Plain and simple I am an alcoholic. I will never get away from this until I completely and fully accept that unconditionally.

Jeni26

Lovely to see you back. I wondered where you'd gone.

I hit my rock bottom too, and I figured there's only one way to go from there....