Komplex

I've posted here many times before with good intentions of stopping the vicious drinking cycle my life has become. I make it a few days, and fail. Give up is probably a more truthful statement. I stop posting because I am embarrassed to be a chronic quitter.

Well I'm trying one more time. I'm posting, I'm going to read, and maybe try some meetings.

So here I am on day one, maybe this can be my last.

Dee74

Why not make sure it's your last Komplex?
How hard are you willing to work and how far are you willing to go?

This link is a good start -

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

and committing to posting here regularly no matter what is a good idea too - keep yourself accountable

welcome back

D

Komplex

Thank you Dee. I need to commit to being willing to work hard, no matter what it takes. I read some of the material on action planning and plan to read more throughout the day. I'm going to make it through my work day and then it's time I sit down with a pencil and make a real plan. I think one of the hardest times for me is around day 4 when I start to feel better and in control of my life. I think I will come up with a plan of action first for when that happens.

doggonecarl

In control of your life? Alcohol controls your life until you take control of your recovery.

Good luck.

sleepie

I was a relapser from 2010. I was on and off with the site for years. It was a major struggle but now I am free of alcohol and benzos. What I mean to say is just keep trying. And do whatever it takes to stay quit.

It is hard. Addiction is not child's play. I had counselors and SR and I tried some AA and SMART Recovery and a meditation group... I mean I just tried. In the end I realized that it is simply a grudge match. You have to want it... I did reach out a lot here and used that support to keep going. It helps to know that others are cheering for you and that your victory is shared with those who are fighting the same battle. So, lean on us and let's get this done?

Easy2slip

You have to WANT to quit more than you want to drink.
It's a commitment you need to make and keep. No matter what you mind or body tells you.

Congrats on day 1 and stay on SR throughout the day!

ICanDoBetter

you can do this one day at a time. Post daily - read a lot here - it works. And if you know that a few days you usually fall, have a plan for how to tackle day 4.. Just that day, and when you wake up sober on day 5 you will feel awesome, then repeat.

Mountainmanbob

Please, don't be embarrassed for you remind me of me.
I have been sober during my life on several different occasions.
Sometimes I had hit bottom and sobered right up.
Other times it was very hard to get on a sober track.
I know this site and the ones here can and will help you much
all you need do is stay in touch.
MB

entropy1964

Welcome back. I wouldn't worry about posting after relapses. Actually that helps with accountability.

I would take the maybe's out of your thinking. Recovery is an ALL IN, must deal.

CaseyW

Welcome back, Komplex. This is a better way of life. Don't quit trying ten minutes before the miracle happens!

Yankee73

Never feel ashamed or anything like that. If it were easy, there wouldn't be sites like this and we'd all sober up permanently forever and ever... I drank for almost 20 years and if I had to count my slips, relapses and binges... well, I couldn't even begin!!!

Komplex

Thank you all for your support. I resisted my afternoon cravings. Where I tell myself one more day won't hurt anything. So it's nice to go to bed and relax instead of stumbling in. Tomorrow I must start thinking through a plan. I read on here recently about a member who had written their plan and carried it with them. I liked that idea. On to day 2. Thanks again for the warm welcome back (again)

Delilah1

Great job making it through day one!! You will find lots of support on here. I had my final day one January 1st, and have stuck with my promise that no alcohol would pass my lips beginning in the year 2016. It has not always been easy, but thanks to the support of SR I have almost 4 and a half months. I am looking forward to hitting the 6 month mark, and then getting through certain holidays, and finally one year.
You can do this, and it will be great to have you along on this journey!

Komplex

Day two in the bag! I came home late from work slumped on the couch and thought about buying some wine. Then I changed into work out clothes and exercised. Goodness, I feel great. Why have I left exercise out of my routine for so long. I am adding exercise to my action plan!

Babescake

I must say, while I'm still a work in progress myself, BIG TIME, Doggonecarl, your posts are always spot on and they really make me think. I really appreciate your input. They have made an impact on me.

Eliasson

Komplex,
We have similar stories. I've had more relapses than I can count, but I will never give up. I, too, have stayed away from the forum out of embarrassment, but I know that just hurts me in the end as SR has proven to be a safe place that always welcomes me back and believes more in me than I do in myself.
I'm on Day 2 also. We can do this.

Komplex

We will do this!! Thanks for your support!

Hevyn

Really glad to see you back with new determination, Komplex. There is no doubt you can do this. Congrats on getting through Day 2. Good idea to exercise as a distraction.

Komplex

I'm glad to say exercise has come to rescue once again. About 3 pm at work when all I wanted to do was go to the liquor store and go home and "relax". I changed my thoughts and kept telling myself, I can't wait to get home and work out. I feel great. I have a solid plan for my dreaded day four tomorrow which includes posting here, exercise, and calling a sober friend. I know I can get through tomorrow just like I got through today. Bring on day four --- I'm ready!

Komplex

Day 4 - Thursdays. They generally give me an excuse to cave. I have only made it through a handful of sober weekends that I remember in the last 8 years. On Thursday nights I take my daughter to a class. I drop her off and race to the liquor store to stock up for the weekend. It's my routine. We get home and I crack open that first bottle. WELL NOT TONIGHT. We are leaving in a few for her class and I've got my sneakers on. While she's in class I'm going to walk around the nearby lake. The exercise will make me feel good and I'll go to bed tonight knowing I've finally put a day four in the books.

Posting here often is a part of my plan to make sobriety stick this time. I'm not going to hide from SR so my AV can convince me no one will know or care if I drink.

Happy Thursday all!