What when the recovery method itself is the one that triggers problematic behavior?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Originally Posted by blossom123 
I did. heaven forbid you should actually read what I say.
What you do is gaslighting.
Posting here has been mostly like talking to a wall. People don't listen, but they judge, and I'm supposed to trust them and their assessments anyway.
In fact, it's just like talking to a drunk person!
I'm sick of this.
Have it your way.
What you do is gaslighting.
Posting here has been mostly like talking to a wall. People don't listen, but they judge, and I'm supposed to trust them and their assessments anyway.
In fact, it's just like talking to a drunk person!
I'm sick of this.
Have it your way.
I also have not seen anyplace where you specifically describe any incident of being triggered by something. You have only made more generalized statements.
If you have ever been triggered, saying "X happened and then I went out and did X" is the first step to understanding how your triggers work.
The generalized statements do not really help. Triggers are not generalized---they are specific. And you have made it clear that this thread is asking for help in dealing with triggers.
If you have said all this before, just cut and paste--because I cannot find it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hi Blossom:
I just want to tell you to use his board for support. I feel you getting angry. Take what you want and leave the rest. That's what I do...
I read your thread several times...
I just want to say that if "your friends" are waiting for you to convert so that you can be "real friends" I think you need to recruit new people. That is just horrible! And of people will be angry at you and hate you... That's horrible too!
I hope to see you around and I hope you find what you search for.
I just want to tell you to use his board for support. I feel you getting angry. Take what you want and leave the rest. That's what I do...
I read your thread several times...
I just want to say that if "your friends" are waiting for you to convert so that you can be "real friends" I think you need to recruit new people. That is just horrible! And of people will be angry at you and hate you... That's horrible too!
I hope to see you around and I hope you find what you search for.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
Originally Posted by blossom123
Hello.
I don't mean to debate recovery methods. But what is one supposed to do when the recovery method itself is one that triggers problematic behavior?
Long story short:
I have a troubled background with Christianity and religious people in general.
I've tried the 12 Step approach for my substance problems, but didn't manage to go through with the Higher Power aspect of it. I've also tried some secular approaches, but they didn't work either (precisely because they are secular).
I couldn't say whether I believe in God or some Higher Power or not -- it's all too troubling for me.
At the same time, I wouldn't say I am secular either.
I wish I could just fit myself into some religion or some philosophy and be done with my problems. But it just doesn't work that way.
Again: I don't mean to debate recovery methods. But what is one supposed to do when the recovery method itself is the one that triggers problematic behavior?
Thanks.
I don't mean to debate recovery methods. But what is one supposed to do when the recovery method itself is one that triggers problematic behavior?
Long story short:
I have a troubled background with Christianity and religious people in general.
I've tried the 12 Step approach for my substance problems, but didn't manage to go through with the Higher Power aspect of it. I've also tried some secular approaches, but they didn't work either (precisely because they are secular).
I couldn't say whether I believe in God or some Higher Power or not -- it's all too troubling for me.
At the same time, I wouldn't say I am secular either.
I wish I could just fit myself into some religion or some philosophy and be done with my problems. But it just doesn't work that way.
Again: I don't mean to debate recovery methods. But what is one supposed to do when the recovery method itself is the one that triggers problematic behavior?
Thanks.
you don't have to take the whole higher power thing literally.
It's about surrendering to the addiction-obstacle in your mind and then breaking through it by realising the world is bigger then your own little ego (higher power)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
The way I see it, the problem is that many methods require that the person place 100% trust in it and the people who propose it.
actually the ONLY thing you need to commit to 100% is staying sober. HOW you go about that is your choice.
actually the ONLY thing you need to commit to 100% is staying sober. HOW you go about that is your choice.
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Originally Posted by blossom123
I did. heaven forbid you should actually read what I say.
What you do is gaslighting.
Posting here has been mostly like talking to a wall. People don't listen, but they judge, and I'm supposed to trust them and their assessments anyway.
In fact, it's just like talking to a drunk person!
I'm sick of this.
Have it your way.
What you do is gaslighting.
Posting here has been mostly like talking to a wall. People don't listen, but they judge, and I'm supposed to trust them and their assessments anyway.
In fact, it's just like talking to a drunk person!
I'm sick of this.
Have it your way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 228
Originally Posted by tomsteve
how bout changing your perception of God?
or you could use mine. He loves you, wants the best for you, will always be there, and will give you the strength and courage to work the steps and have a great,alcohol free life.
just as He has done for me.
or you could use mine. He loves you, wants the best for you, will always be there, and will give you the strength and courage to work the steps and have a great,alcohol free life.
just as He has done for me.
I blamed God for the mess my life had become. I thought God hated me.
But then I changed my perception. That came after I took responsibility for my addiction. I chose to pick up the first drink, God didn't force me to drink it. Now my perception is that God loves me just as much as any other person, and I deserve good things in my life.
With this perception, I have learned to forgive myself too. Be gentle with me. I'm a happier person now too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: former texan
Posts: 216
Hmm. I think I just got to the bottom of this. For myself anyway.
You asked, what if the 'solution' is the trigger?
I read everything we all wrote - trying to be helpful, offering advice, trying to understand etc... Clearly that did not hit the mark.
Then it occurred to me. All the 'magic' and 'pseudo-science' of recovery you speak of, it's really just stuff that worked for other people, so they believe in it.
You get lost and mired in the religion question, the God question, as though that stands between people and recovery. I think that's been answered - many didn't need religion or God to find recovery. So that's out.
I got to the bottom, or the essence of the question. The real trigger, the real thing, is ME. I do or I don't. I think about it or I don't. I overthink it or I don't. We call all kinds of things triggers - relationships, jobs, dinner out, religion - we call them triggers, and in a sense, yes they are. But the real trigger is in us. The problem starts here. With me. I am the trigger. I respond to stimuli. I can choose how I respond. That's it. That is the magic. I don't have to pray, I don't have to be liked, I don't have to argue, I don't have to sway opinion, I don't have to be right. The only thing I have to do is the control the biggest trigger I've ever met: ME.
Blossom, I thought about this hard. I don't really care if it gets rejected as a thought for you. But I believe it answers the original question that you asked head on. So I'll reword your question for you - What if YOU are the reason you trigger problematic behaviour?
You asked, what if the 'solution' is the trigger?
I read everything we all wrote - trying to be helpful, offering advice, trying to understand etc... Clearly that did not hit the mark.
Then it occurred to me. All the 'magic' and 'pseudo-science' of recovery you speak of, it's really just stuff that worked for other people, so they believe in it.
You get lost and mired in the religion question, the God question, as though that stands between people and recovery. I think that's been answered - many didn't need religion or God to find recovery. So that's out.
I got to the bottom, or the essence of the question. The real trigger, the real thing, is ME. I do or I don't. I think about it or I don't. I overthink it or I don't. We call all kinds of things triggers - relationships, jobs, dinner out, religion - we call them triggers, and in a sense, yes they are. But the real trigger is in us. The problem starts here. With me. I am the trigger. I respond to stimuli. I can choose how I respond. That's it. That is the magic. I don't have to pray, I don't have to be liked, I don't have to argue, I don't have to sway opinion, I don't have to be right. The only thing I have to do is the control the biggest trigger I've ever met: ME.
Blossom, I thought about this hard. I don't really care if it gets rejected as a thought for you. But I believe it answers the original question that you asked head on. So I'll reword your question for you - What if YOU are the reason you trigger problematic behaviour?
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