Lonelywombat67

Do you know any people who might be lonely? If you can, do something for them. It affects so many elderly people these days. I think there's been an upsurge of drinking among the older members of the population and I include myself as an example.

vulturine

I'm 26 and dealing with daily loneliness. It wasn't as bad when my best friend was around, but he's dead now. Doing my best to comfort his mom when I can, but nothing I say can really help. I'm so terrible trying to comfort people, because often times when I feel anxious, I lose my capacity to show emotions.

least

I live alone but never feel lonely because I have two dogs and four cats and their love keeps me from feeling lonely.

FLCamper

Good reminder - I agree with you - as one ages, the ability to get out and about diminishes for many. Meals on Wheels and similar programs (here in the US - surely they exist in other areas) are a God send for the elderly.

Pets are wonderful company.

Anna

Have you thought about volunteering in your community?

It's a great way to meet new people and form friendships and it gives you a chance to give back.

Lonelywombat67

I've thought about doing that when I get healthy. My weight and difficulty getting around have an impact on how much help I can be.

madgirl

Least - that is SOOOO true. I thought I loved my dog before I got sober but our bond has evolved through the last month - between being unemployed and an insomniac, she has been a faithful, consistent and wonderful companion. I try to give back to her by taking her on long walks since they give her so much joy.

Not sure I can tackle the issues with human relationships (or lack thereof) right now, but the uncomplicated affection from a dog is hard to beat and definitely helps with loneliness.

entropy1964

Loneliness can hurt, even for people like me that are introverted loners I find my loneliness most painful when I'm not taking good care of myself (be that drinking, not exercising, allowing my thinking to center around ME ME ME....victim thinking that kind of thing). I am only, well, almost 51 so I'm young. I can do something about my life and take ownership for my happiness.

You right about the elderly however. I hope I'm not alone when I'm very old! My daughter better have me some grandbabies!

Hang in there.

Lonelywombat67

I thought I was a loner when I was younger. I was always the introverted artist type, working on creating things, enjoying time alone to read and meditate. Now that I'm older that peace with being alone has flown out the window. I miss having someone to cook for, to care for and who would care for me. I haven't had a dog in almost two years. I took in a rescue pibble mix about 8 or 9 years ago who had been mistreated and had some behavior problems. She became very attached to me but suspicious of strangers. When I left on vacation one year she bit my sister who was caring for her. We tried to get her behavioral help including medicine, but it didn't work. Now I miss having a dog but it won't be fair to any animal I take in until I am more mobile. On the plus side, I do have a fenced yard.

360startstoday

I don't know how old you are.... but around here we have a bus that will pick people up and take them to the senior center for lunch or a game of cards.

Our church picks people up for services.

I go hang out and visit my older clients once a week, I go to them to visit.

What have you looked into in your area?

entropy1964

I know what you mean. I am definitely less independent than I was when I was younger. I think, for me, it has to do with thinking of those final years....not wanting to be alone. But for now, I'm usually good with it. And my daughter is still at home so that helps. Although sometimes I secretly feel sorry for myself and wish someone would do something for ME ! Wahhhh. Hold my hand, hug me, make me dinner. Yeah well, one can dream. But pitying myself doesn't help.

Just stay sober, no matter what. You will begin to see changes you just have to be patient!

Lonelywombat67

I'm 67 and it has hit me like a ton of bricks. I took up drinking again at 52 after a long period of abstinence. I was lonely and depressed and went to a wine tasting to meet people. I met wine.

The senior center where I live is seriously depressing. I don't think it would add to my sober health. There are trips for retirees that I could start doing again. Like I said, at least 50 pounds needs to come off so I can walk around and sightsee again.

360startstoday

Maybe short walks could help with the 50lb goal? I have a client that was having a hard time getting around, sounds similar to your situation. He got a walker with a seat on it and used that to get around and take a rest and he is now getting around with just a cane for his balance....

I like the idea of the retiree trips!

Are you a member or a church? Or any organization?

There are some adopt a grandparent organizations, some people just want someone to talk to and visit with and can find that companionship within an organization like one of these.

Lonelywombat67

I'm looking around. I had some groups once upon a time that I could count on to keep me connected. I was in a knitting group that fell apart when the yarn store folded and we tried to keep in touch but most of the members moved on. I joined a city arts planning committee that disbanded. Also a book club that stopped meeting. I'm hoping to move to some apartment units in another state where my daughter lives that have community rooms and activities connected with them. First I have to sell my house.

360startstoday

Have you found a good realtor yet?

We have a similar retirement community here, I love hearing the stories from their games and meeting and interactions. You have some good ideas.

Are you reading any good books right now?

Lonelywombat67

Yes I'm ready to start a new life. This one isn't working that well any more. I've recently read Louie Anderson's autobiography which deals a lot with his alcoholic father, a failed musician. Louie is the chubby cherubic comedian with the gap between his teeth. I liked it. I'm sticking with light reading at the moment but I have lots of books in the wings.

Anna

It sounds like you would enjoy a pet, especially a dog, once you are able to get around and care for the animal. I hope that is good motivation for you to slowly begin to change your diet and get a little exercise. Is there something that you can change in your diet/exercise today that will help you begin this journey?

Lonelywombat67

I'm trying to stay away from sugar and other unhealthy carbohydrates. Limit my snacking and eat lean meats. I got a massive treadmill. I'm terrified of it and it's giving me guilty feelings by just sitting there being judgmental in its inanimate way.

Anna

Maybe you and the treadmill can become acquainted with each other.

It sounds like you have a good plan for how to become more mobile. Have faith that you will be able to do this!

Desultory

Loneliness is when you live in a different country for over ten years, have got no friends at all, and no prospect of getting those, no family around. Day in day out just pretending to be normal (in front of nobody).
Days can go by without anyone to talk to.
Oh yeah no job either, mainly because the leftovers of confidence were lost ages ago, and leftovers of intellect drown in alcohol.