Arpeggioh

I've always figured it would take a serious health crisis for me to finally stop drinking; finally got one at 54 years of age:

Routine blood work to monitor glucose and cholesterol; my values were outstanding! My MD, a 45 year vet in VA medicine, circled something I'd never heard of: my CMV (volume of red blood cells.) Causes include excessive alcohol intake and liver disease. He tells me he's never seen a value as high as mine in his entire medical career...okay, you've got my attention, Doc!

That was two days ago; since then, I've gotten progressively more pessimistic, and more drunk, about my seemingly impending demise. My main concern: bad health report didn't make me immediately stop drinking vodka like water! I swear, I don't think I'm suicidal...he actually said, "Some people would rather keep drinking than stay alive," adding he didn't judge that decision for anyone.

Wait! That's not me! I'm not ready to check out yet! I just...don't know how to stop. So that kinda sucks...

Thanks for listening, I love this place...

doggonecarl

Can you remove yourself from alcohol? By that I mean physically remove yourself from the ability to drink. Detox and rehab?

You won't regret quitting. But if you don't, you will regret not quitting on your deathbed.

mav

So what's next? Other than stopping sinking, obviously.

360startstoday

So.... have you considered an inpatient detox and treatment?? They can help you and show you how to stop. Do you want to stop?

khorrillo

I have the same issue it took me to be notified by
Doctor to let me know I have liver problems. My blood test came out hi and she told me if I didn't stop drinking I would not be a candidate for a liver transplant. Scared me enough to jump on the wagon last week. Think positive and tell your self you can do this one day at a time. I drink coke when I feel I need a drink. Good luck

Dee74

Welcome back arpeggioh.

If you can't or won't stop, I think the suggestions for rehab make a pretty strong case?

Pondlady

Looks like you joined SR 10 years ago. Has anything worked for you in the past decade and what have you tried? Sounds like it's time to give sobriety all that you've got!

Arpeggioh

Inpatient detox and rehab x5 in the past thirty years; can I stop? Yes, I've done it before, it just never sticks. Do I want to stop? There's the question! Right now, no; do you want to die? Also no...therein lies the effing insanity. Just in the thick of the sickness right now...addiction is just so nasty...

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear of the diagnosis. Do you plan to do anything about it?

Sounds to me like you are waiting for something to MAKE you quit...a consequence of some kind. If this one isn't enough, which its obviously not as you ate still drinking, you'll probably not find one. You need to make the choice to quit....no one else can do that for you. Even those that are institutionalzed against their will and forced to detox many time return to using the second they get out if they don't WANT to quit.

You say you love this place...what facet do you like most? What brought you here today?

2muchpain

Addiction isn't just nasty, its deadly. I've heard stories of what people go through when they are dying from alcoholism. It's beyond nasty. John

Mountainmanbob

Most drunks who hear news such as this get very concerned
but, only for a short while and then it's back to the same old drinking routine.

Be not one of those.
This sounds like a good time for you to stop drinking ?
Or as the doctor said, "if you wish to keep on living ?"

Sounds so simple.
But, us drunks know that it's not.

Many times during my life I would end up in the Emergency Ward at a hospital
and be told by a doctor that I was killing myself
only to go home and proceed with exactly the same thing that I had been doing.

Who is a fool ?
A fool is one who fools themself.

Bob

Arpeggioh

Scott: thanks, that's exactly what I've been waiting for all my drinking life: some Thing to make me (help me, cause me) to quit for good...

And I love this site because replies of support and understanding are immediate; this is the best recovery website I've ever seen, and I've enjoyed posts by moderators and members here for over ten years. The place gives me hope when I'm feeling completely hopeless...

waterlogged

I would personally go to detox. They really helped me through it.xx

Dee74

I did not want to die either but I kept pushing the envelope out to ridiculous proportions so that I nearly did die.

Others have been less lucky than me.

In one way the decision is simple - not easy, but simple.

Stop drinking. Pour out your reserves.
Do not buy more alcohol. Repeat again tomorrow.

Find the support you need to keep that going.

If you find the part of you that wants to drink is stronger than the part that wants to quit...I can only recommend the things that have helped others - AA, SMART, Life Ring ...

Do whatever you can to tip the scales.

In the battle of the wolves the one you feed is the one that wins.

D

least

I really hope you can stop drinking before it stops you.

Anna

I didn't want to die either, but I came very close. Thankfully it made me decide to stop drinking for good. If you don't want to stop right now, as you said, I hope that you rethink your decision. We're here for you!

teatreeoil007

Chronic end stage diseases are everything they are cracked up to be...

Case in point: Years of out of control blood sugars in a diabetic. Failing eyesight? Check. Kidney failure? Check. Diabetic ulcers? Check. Poor wound healing? Check. High blood pressure? Check. Diabetic neuropathy/nerve pain? Check. Possibly needing body parts amputated? Check.

Shall we get a list going for end stage alcoholism? Stop it now and stop further damage and hope the body will heal some of the damage already done. Can't guarantee how the body will heal. But if you stop NOW you can guarantee preventing further damage.

There is so much help these days-keep reaching out.

Hevyn

We don't want to lose you, Arpeggioh. I hope you'll continue to post & never give up on a better life for yourself.