Online tests indicate alcoholism
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 392
Heavy drinking started about 2 years ago. Was separated but still living with ex husband. He moved out last August and I've continued the same pattern of drinking. I don't think I drink any more than I did while he was here, in fact i know that that i drink less frequently now.
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Normal people never wonder if they have a problem. - The last time they had 10 beers (if ever) was that one time in college when they threw up and decided not to do that again (and actually didn't). They can't remember the last time they drank or how much they had that time.
I wanted to moderate for one reason - I wanted to be able to escape reality and how I felt without the consequences and stigma of being a "real addict". - That was a fairy tale.
We have people who try to moderate where I am. Sometimes we bury them. The rest reveal how it's going by the look in their eyes. We can make up all manner of fairy tales and stories about how our using/drinking is going to be. They have two things in common: They all sound nice, and none of them are true.
I wanted to moderate for one reason - I wanted to be able to escape reality and how I felt without the consequences and stigma of being a "real addict". - That was a fairy tale.
We have people who try to moderate where I am. Sometimes we bury them. The rest reveal how it's going by the look in their eyes. We can make up all manner of fairy tales and stories about how our using/drinking is going to be. They have two things in common: They all sound nice, and none of them are true.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
From your first post:
You know what is better than any online test? The struggle to remain quit despite our desire to be sober. That's alcoholism. And moderation is the carrot on the stick that we chase.
Originally Posted by noneever 
Same old story. Vow never to drink again. End up drinking.
I'm so disgusted with myself.
I'm so disgusted with myself.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
You know the answer or you wouldn't keep asking the question.
There isn't a drinker here who didn't do the moderation mambo for a long time, trying to find that magical loophole. You can either keep up that exhausting conversation in your head or you can try another way.
You are addicted to a chemical that is implicated in over 60 different diseases and conditions because it is legal, extremely addictive, and marketed 24/7 by an industry that doesn't care if your health is ruined or your life is shortened because they have your money.
You don't have to be a pawn.
There isn't a drinker here who didn't do the moderation mambo for a long time, trying to find that magical loophole. You can either keep up that exhausting conversation in your head or you can try another way.
You are addicted to a chemical that is implicated in over 60 different diseases and conditions because it is legal, extremely addictive, and marketed 24/7 by an industry that doesn't care if your health is ruined or your life is shortened because they have your money.
You don't have to be a pawn.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by noneever
Heavy drinking started about 2 years ago. Was separated but still living with ex husband. He moved out last August and I've continued the same pattern of drinking. I don't think I drink any more than I did while he was here, in fact i know that that i drink less frequently now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I came here still chasing the dream of a surefire way to moderate my drinking, and in a way that the rest of my life could stay manageable (my finances, my relationships, by behaviour, etc.) I soon realised that I was howling for the moon. Like you, I didn't drink daily, but all week I'd be counting down the days til when I could let my hair down and drink my way out of myself. And the reason I didn't drink in the week was because I didn't trust myself not to hit the F it switch and go on a binge as soon as I'd had a couple.
Can I ask, what brings you here? To this site? To my knowlegde, none of us came here unless our drinking was already proving problematic or worrying in some way. And whatever it is, do you want that /those things to change?
I suppose the only way you can know for sure if you can moderate is to try it. But I suspect that you've tried that a few times already. And you know, a normal drinker would not be thrown into a state of fear or panic at the idea of not drinking. Sure, they might think it's a pity, like I would if I was told I can't have potatoes again. But fear? Panic? Nah.
Anyway. Welcome to the site. I wish you all the best whatever you decide to do. This place has really helped me over the last couple of years. Plenty of good people and great advice to be found.
Can I ask, what brings you here? To this site? To my knowlegde, none of us came here unless our drinking was already proving problematic or worrying in some way. And whatever it is, do you want that /those things to change?
I suppose the only way you can know for sure if you can moderate is to try it. But I suspect that you've tried that a few times already. And you know, a normal drinker would not be thrown into a state of fear or panic at the idea of not drinking. Sure, they might think it's a pity, like I would if I was told I can't have potatoes again. But fear? Panic? Nah.
Anyway. Welcome to the site. I wish you all the best whatever you decide to do. This place has really helped me over the last couple of years. Plenty of good people and great advice to be found.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
for "normal drinkers" moderation is not something they have to THINK about, DREAM about, or PLAN.....it's a natural state of being.....they are quite satisfied with ONE drink.....or even leaving a glass unfinished. because alcohol to them is like salt.....or lettuce on a sandwich.....
alcoholics don't see alcohol as something that just has a very minor role, an aside, an afterthought. it is their EVERY thought.
alcoholics don't see alcohol as something that just has a very minor role, an aside, an afterthought. it is their EVERY thought.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Originally Posted by noneever
I don't drink every day. I don't drink all day. Maybe it's not too late to be able to drink moderately?
But. I admit I'VE driven while very, very drunk. I'm a small woman. That alone is reason to not drink. I know that. Yet a piece of me tells me I'm not that far gone, that I can control this.
But. I admit I'VE driven while very, very drunk. I'm a small woman. That alone is reason to not drink. I know that. Yet a piece of me tells me I'm not that far gone, that I can control this.
None of us here can convince you that you are an alcoholic. That's a call that you will have to make yourself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 59
Welcome! Glad you are here.
You sure sound like one of "us". I don't have any expertise, except personal experience, but I thought I could "control" my drinking for almost 40 years. I was lying to myself and everyone around me the entire time.
I was, and am, an alcohol addict. Didn't get "done" until I admitted it to myself. My bitter joke was "I am not an alcoholic! I can stop whenever I want, I have done it hundreds of times!"
Sounds like you are in the same situation most of us were. You know that your drinking is a problem, but you are addicted to it and can't control it and can't stop. And, it is a progressive condition. You will drink more and more as time goes on.
Please, stay around here and work through this. Sounds to me like you need to admit the addiction and then address it. Trust me, from the perch of decades of "experience" the sooner you can get to that point the better off you will be.
Your best bet for a long healthy life is to STOP. FOREVER. Giving up alcohol is not a burden it is a gift!
You sure sound like one of "us". I don't have any expertise, except personal experience, but I thought I could "control" my drinking for almost 40 years. I was lying to myself and everyone around me the entire time.
I was, and am, an alcohol addict. Didn't get "done" until I admitted it to myself. My bitter joke was "I am not an alcoholic! I can stop whenever I want, I have done it hundreds of times!"
Sounds like you are in the same situation most of us were. You know that your drinking is a problem, but you are addicted to it and can't control it and can't stop. And, it is a progressive condition. You will drink more and more as time goes on.
Please, stay around here and work through this. Sounds to me like you need to admit the addiction and then address it. Trust me, from the perch of decades of "experience" the sooner you can get to that point the better off you will be.
Your best bet for a long healthy life is to STOP. FOREVER. Giving up alcohol is not a burden it is a gift!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
Hi Non ever, social drinkers do not go online and take tests for alcoholism nor do drinkers who drink moderately , social or moderate drinkers do not join Addiction forums , so what was your question again ? ah yes you only drink beer sometimes 10 ? , never drink wine or spirits either ? well going on forums to take an alcoholism test and joining addiction forums mean one of two things (1) you are a nut case , ( 2 you have a drink problem ? I think its #2 , it is not the ''quality or the quantity '' of what you drink it is what ''alcohol'' does to you .
Alcoholism is like a bus journey to hell or the terminus , you can get off the bus at any time ''but if alcoholic ''if you stay on the bus then it is only insanity or death . Giving up alcohol is not a ''SACRIFICE '' it means you stop feeling the way you do because of booze , it means you wont kill someone while drunk driving and end up in prison or killing yourself in the process , you remember what you done the night before , you can be honest and upfront instead of hiding your behavior , you get your self respect , you can face a breakfast in the morning it goes on and on the benefits of not being a sacrifice , but the answer lies with you , stop and get well ? or stay in misery whilst your drinking gets worse and worse . take care .
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 .
Alcoholism is like a bus journey to hell or the terminus , you can get off the bus at any time ''but if alcoholic ''if you stay on the bus then it is only insanity or death . Giving up alcohol is not a ''SACRIFICE '' it means you stop feeling the way you do because of booze , it means you wont kill someone while drunk driving and end up in prison or killing yourself in the process , you remember what you done the night before , you can be honest and upfront instead of hiding your behavior , you get your self respect , you can face a breakfast in the morning it goes on and on the benefits of not being a sacrifice , but the answer lies with you , stop and get well ? or stay in misery whilst your drinking gets worse and worse . take care .
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 .
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
Your thread reminded me of this story.. I was an avid jaywalker..
"Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks he breaks both legs after he was released Yet again and he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back.
"You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism or any addiction for jay-walking, the illustration would fit exactly. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong language but isn't it true?"
"Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks he breaks both legs after he was released Yet again and he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back.
"You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism or any addiction for jay-walking, the illustration would fit exactly. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong language but isn't it true?"
Sober since 29th March 2016.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 23
Hello! Everytime I believed I had super human control over my addiction I started with a few innocent beers...and after a few weeks I was back. I stayed clean sober for 3 years..then a beer...why not told my my ex partner... and then I started drinking again and again. Now I am finally single and I will do my best to stay away from people offering drinks to me knowing that I am a recovering alcoholic. I don't know if this can help you. Take care :-(
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 937
Originally Posted by noneever
I don't drink every day. I don't drink all day. Maybe it's not too late to be able to drink moderately?
But. I admit I'VE driven while very, very drunk. I'm a small woman. That alone is reason to not drink. I know that. Yet a piece of me tells me I'm not that far gone, that I can control this.
But. I admit I'VE driven while very, very drunk. I'm a small woman. That alone is reason to not drink. I know that. Yet a piece of me tells me I'm not that far gone, that I can control this.
But I'm an alcoholic. Alcohol was stealing the joy of life from under my very nose and I had no idea until I stopped.
There is nothing positive, zero, zilch, nada, nicht, that drinking, even in moderation, could possibly add to my new sober life.
Try it for yourself and you may too ask yourself why you would want to moderate?
Good luck on your journey :-) and I wish you all the best.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
The question to end all questions..........
Why can't I have a few beers every now and then?
Well, like the others I can probably count on one hand the number of times I did this successfully. And it was pretty darn excruciating.
What enjoyment is that? It was honestly torture. And I rarely accomplished this. Once I'd had a few, I craved more. Whole-body-craving stuff. And I'd just go with it. No better day to cut back than tomorrow, right?
Even at the height of my drinking I would never have a mimosa with brunch. Ever. Even if they were free and somebody put it in my hand I would decline it. Because having none was more tolerable than one. I think only an alcoholic can understand this weird phenomenon.
Back when I smoked, if somebody said I could've had one cigarette a day I would've thought "great! Any least I get one."
Something was totally different with alcohol though. If somebody would've said I could've had one beer a day I would've said no thanks.
I remember one specific time I was with a friend at an art museum where they had a little cocktail stand and she said we should get a drink. And we did. She was not an alcoholic so that one drink for her was totally fine. I remember literally watching the centimeters of liquid go down as I sipped. I resented every sip because I wasn't catching any sort of buzz and that was the only drink for the evening. We got on a four hour train after that.
We arrived home at like 1 AM and it would've looked very bizarre if I started drinking at 1 AM, even though I wanted to. Normal people like my friend go to bed at 1 AM when I get home but I was thinking that my drinking time was stolen from me and that one drink had set off the craving. I went to bed feeling very, very deprived. Wait, now that I think back I think I started drinking after she went to bed.
Long story short, I have 1000's of nights to prove that I don't stop at one or two.
Period.
Why can't I have a few beers every now and then?
Well, like the others I can probably count on one hand the number of times I did this successfully. And it was pretty darn excruciating.
What enjoyment is that? It was honestly torture. And I rarely accomplished this. Once I'd had a few, I craved more. Whole-body-craving stuff. And I'd just go with it. No better day to cut back than tomorrow, right?
Even at the height of my drinking I would never have a mimosa with brunch. Ever. Even if they were free and somebody put it in my hand I would decline it. Because having none was more tolerable than one. I think only an alcoholic can understand this weird phenomenon.
Back when I smoked, if somebody said I could've had one cigarette a day I would've thought "great! Any least I get one."
Something was totally different with alcohol though. If somebody would've said I could've had one beer a day I would've said no thanks.
I remember one specific time I was with a friend at an art museum where they had a little cocktail stand and she said we should get a drink. And we did. She was not an alcoholic so that one drink for her was totally fine. I remember literally watching the centimeters of liquid go down as I sipped. I resented every sip because I wasn't catching any sort of buzz and that was the only drink for the evening. We got on a four hour train after that.
We arrived home at like 1 AM and it would've looked very bizarre if I started drinking at 1 AM, even though I wanted to. Normal people like my friend go to bed at 1 AM when I get home but I was thinking that my drinking time was stolen from me and that one drink had set off the craving. I went to bed feeling very, very deprived. Wait, now that I think back I think I started drinking after she went to bed.
Long story short, I have 1000's of nights to prove that I don't stop at one or two.
Period.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I've also taken alcoholic quizzes online and I used to think they were too sensitive.
Like, who didn't drink alone?
But it's definitely a combination of things. I believe I scored 17 out of 21.
The only ones I couldn't check off were......
Drinking in the morning
Trouble with the law
Missed work
Keeping different/questionable company when drinking
However, I was hungover at work every day for years.
And I drank alone so there was no company.
Like, who didn't drink alone?
But it's definitely a combination of things. I believe I scored 17 out of 21.
The only ones I couldn't check off were......
Drinking in the morning
Trouble with the law
Missed work
Keeping different/questionable company when drinking
However, I was hungover at work every day for years.
And I drank alone so there was no company.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Hi! Xoxo
I never drove drunk ( though could have possibly blown over in the morning driving to work.)
I never drank every day all day
No law trouble
I was a wine binge drinker- took me forever to realize I can't moderate- or if I could it never lasted.
I started blacking out completely all the time even just binge drinking wine.
Why is drinking so important to you?! Xo
I never drove drunk ( though could have possibly blown over in the morning driving to work.)
I never drank every day all day
No law trouble
I was a wine binge drinker- took me forever to realize I can't moderate- or if I could it never lasted.
I started blacking out completely all the time even just binge drinking wine.
Why is drinking so important to you?! Xo
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi Noneever,
I moderated for the last few years of my 35 year drinking career. And did a great job of it (except when I didn't).
But here's the thing. Here's the reason I quit nearly 11 months ago.
I didn't want to moderate. I didn't want to while I was moderating, and I don't want to now. I had no interest in moderate drinking. I hated moderating. For one simple reason. I wanted to get as drunk as possible. And every now and then, on business trips, or if the family was away, I'd drop my guard and did just that. With all the usual consequences you read on here over and over again.
So I finally quit. 30 years after I first promised myself I would. Yes, there are a lot of people, including on here, who were in way worse shape than I was. Yes, most of my friends and family were surprised and some tried to talk me out of it. But they didn't know what was going on in my mind. How hard work it was to moderate. How alcohol has always dominated my thoughts. I was not, and never have been, a "normal" drinker.
And they also don't know how much happier I am now. How free I feel. I genuinely do not want a drink any more. My life is much, much better without it. I laugh out loud more. My relationship with my kids is stronger. I have more time to do all the things I enjoy, like playing music. And more money to do them with (I have a nice shiny new guitar that I bought as a reward from just a fraction of the money I haven't almost literally flushed away).
There are no down sides to quitting. Your life will improve. You will be happier in the long run. Trust me. Trust everyone here saying the same thing. Even if you could moderate, which doesn't look likely for you, it simply isn't worth it to try.
I moderated for the last few years of my 35 year drinking career. And did a great job of it (except when I didn't).
But here's the thing. Here's the reason I quit nearly 11 months ago.
I didn't want to moderate. I didn't want to while I was moderating, and I don't want to now. I had no interest in moderate drinking. I hated moderating. For one simple reason. I wanted to get as drunk as possible. And every now and then, on business trips, or if the family was away, I'd drop my guard and did just that. With all the usual consequences you read on here over and over again.
So I finally quit. 30 years after I first promised myself I would. Yes, there are a lot of people, including on here, who were in way worse shape than I was. Yes, most of my friends and family were surprised and some tried to talk me out of it. But they didn't know what was going on in my mind. How hard work it was to moderate. How alcohol has always dominated my thoughts. I was not, and never have been, a "normal" drinker.
And they also don't know how much happier I am now. How free I feel. I genuinely do not want a drink any more. My life is much, much better without it. I laugh out loud more. My relationship with my kids is stronger. I have more time to do all the things I enjoy, like playing music. And more money to do them with (I have a nice shiny new guitar that I bought as a reward from just a fraction of the money I haven't almost literally flushed away).
There are no down sides to quitting. Your life will improve. You will be happier in the long run. Trust me. Trust everyone here saying the same thing. Even if you could moderate, which doesn't look likely for you, it simply isn't worth it to try.
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