freshstart57

This is the worst sort of miserable misinformation anyone can give you, skywalker. It is reported by the NIAA that 75% of alcoholics who quit do so without a formal program of recovery, after looking at 40000 individuals over a period of two decades. The information you have been told is wrong.

If you wish to learn more about this, there is much information here at SR, and elsewhere on the web. It's very easy to find. That's what I did anyway.

I suggest you work at really accepting a decision to quit drinking, and then getting to work learning about how to live like sober people do. Make a picture of that in your mind, then get busy. Make small steps forward, and never look back. You deserve to live a good life, skywalker, and you have the power to create it as your own. You can do this!

Dee74

Just a reminder folks to heed the rules of this forum

No one is trying to censor anyone or stop folks from sharing.

All we ask is that everyone be mindful and, ideally, respectful of others beliefs.

A little thought to the language you use and the tone of your post will be helpful too.

It's not a very big ask.

Dee
Moderator
SR

HollyWouldnt

Look around at other methods and you'll find many,many successful former alcoholics have used them.
Does anyone know the longterm success rate for AA?

SolidKarma

it's so hard to track because of the 'anonymity' aspect. It's easy to find people who it didn't work for, but for the people it's working for they are still there and don't want the world to know.

Berrybean

I agree that there are lots of ways that you could try. BUT, and this is a big but (just like my own), do you really expect that any if the methods would have you feeling great after one week sober.

At a week in I was sobbing at every meeting. It wasn't because there was anything wrong with the meetings, it was because listening to those people made me realise that I WAS an alcoholic, and I was starting to acknowledge this, and the fact that I needed to get sober. THAT was my dark place - the self-realization. And hopefully I'd have experienced that where ever I went, as I think without it, I'd have just la-la-la-ed my way to and through another decade of alcoholic drinking. And that is quite possibly what your AV is up to when it's telling you that you don't need to put yourself in any dark places. Personally I'd say give it a bit longer than a week, but really listen. Listen for the similarities, and listen for the hope. And try the speaker meetings, and some other meetings as well. One AA , ting is not like all others. I find the ones I go to now to be much more positive as people who go to them dwell in the solution more than at the ones I went to at first. There are also more people there who I relate to. It takes a while to find the best meetings for ourselves.

I'm not suggesting give it more time just because it's AA though. I'm suggesting that because I'd say the same about any program. It's likely to take longer than a week ANYWHERE to start feeling some relief.

What about your own sobriety plan? Did you make one yet? If not, that's a place to start.

greens

Skywalker I got sober through trauma counseling and then used recovery groups later. If you are in a big city smart recovery is a great choice. I also had to replace all of my new free time with new activities. I took a music class, learned meditation and tai chi, joined some meetup groups. There are lots of ways to get sober, I think all of them have their pros and cons. WhIle "lookin for the similarities instead of the differences" was helpful to me I think there's a lot to be said for recognizing our different histories and our different ways to get sober. even in the recovery groups I went ro every body used some form of outside support like church or therapy or exercise. There is lots of help out there and you sound very motivated and proactive in your recovery. Best of luck

tomsteve

100% for me for 10+ years.
100% 28 years for my sponsor.
100% 35 years for his sponsor.

doesnt matter.
every method is only as successful as the person doing it.
i wouldnt blame rr,smart, avrt,etc for people drinking again either.

AnvilheadII

i have a ton of workout dvd's collecting dust....are THEY the reason i've gained weight and am out of shape? or is that i am not USING them as they were intended?

ccam1973

Underlying theme... we are all different and what works for one might not work for another. Bottom line is you get out what you put in.

Find what you feel will work for you and give it 110% effort and commitment.

SR works for me, and I went all-in and haven't looked back. No matter how you do it, it takes being totally committed, a lot of hard work, will power and a true desire to break your current cycle.

You've got the power to make this happen no matter what tools you use along the way. Find what's right for you.

tomsteve

so, my car needed brakes. all four were grinding. i replaced the front left and thought i gave it a fair fix, even though there are 3 other brakes on my car.
i just dont understand why i hit a tree when my brakes didnt work. i mean, i fixed one of them. wasnt that fair?

think its fair to only do 4 steps of a 12 step program and say its not helping?

goes for any of the other methods- they gotta be completely worked to work.

tursiops999

I know from my own experience that this idea floats around AA, even if it's not the "official" position of AA. I feel it's important to challenge this idea.

This is not in any way a knock on AA, as AA helped me get sober and I'm grateful for it. But for me it has been important to realize that there are other ways to get sober too, and many people get sober and stay sober using other paths.

I'll just second others' comments, though, that whatever method one chooses, the key factor is a sustained ongoing effort and commitment. And the willingness to tolerate discomfort, especially early on ... a change of this magnitude is not always comfortable, at least it wasn't for me.

It can be very tricky to distinguish -- am I uncomfortable because I've chosen the wrong method for me? Or because I'm uncomfortable with the deep change required? Or is it just my inner addict, acting up, because she wants me to drink? I had to use many resources to sort that out -- counseling, reading around on SR, posting & corresponding with members, talking with people in AA and outside of AA.

skywalker91

Respectfully put & well said!

skywalker91

I don't think not working out can be easily compared because I am willingly not choosing to put those DVD's on and work out. While, I don't really get to choose if someone with over 3 years sober shares at a meeting and says he "thinks the program has wasted him time and that he really is craving and doesn't agree with the higher power aspect of the program (which I heard at a meeting)". For someone counting days to hear a share like that is in fact majorly triggering (for me) I don't get to choose who says what at these meetings. Yes, I can find a different meeting but why do that when I have other options? Therefore, I choose a recovery method where I can be in more control of what I hear which will not make me feel this way. It helps many but it just is not my thing. But I will leave the door open as I like to stay open-minded. As of now, I want and need to get more solid recovery time before I can encounter shares like that again.

oldsoul1122

I've said I'm never going back 100x and I'll stay in 100x. So it's not the meetings it's me how I am feeling that day. Feeling negative dirty and diseased mostly early on and now more uplifted at 9 months because I'm identifying with the spiritual growth leaving my negative thinking habits and moving forward. It's still a roller coaster but I am recoverING.
I use anything that gives me spiritual food. SR, books, anything good out of any method or religion. I'm open like a sponge.

skywalker91

"Open like a sponge" haha love it!

skywalker91

Thank you greens!! Tai Chi sounds like a lot of fun

sugarbear1

Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
SOS
Women for Sobriety
Life Ring

and other methods all have their own websites. If you aren't liking AA, try one or several of these methods!

Find what works and work it well!!

skywalker91

Thank you buddy!

miamifella

I also found meetings to be very triggering.

If you feel yourself triggered, just leave. There is no rule you have to stay to the end of a meeting and it is better to do that than call a dealer or have a drink right after suffering through a meeting to the bitter end. If the meeting helps you, then you can stay through for the full hour.

Please get help. I also needed one-on-one help and a good therapist helped me get on the recovery path.

skywalker91

Thanks buddy I love the one on one. I just saw my therapist today am feeling a bit better. Definitely glad I am not alone. Hope you're doing well.