Jtmlk

Well the last couple of days have been a bit weird, feeling quite jittery and angsty. I think, being one who likes structure, my alcohol group was cancelled yesterday and nobody told me and (I can't believe I'm saying this), I haven't done any excercise for two days. On the bright side the boys go back to school next Tuesday so normality will hopefully return.
It's day 31 today and have no thoughts of alcohol - although I am starting to eat ice cream and chocolate and I used to dislike ice cream. Got to try to be good as need to lose another 7lb in two weeks ready for my holiday.

mandosca

Oops sorry to anyone that saw that last post.. Posted on the wrong page lol

Dee74

Congrats on day 31 jtmlk

Hope you'll feel less jittery tomorrow

D

Jtmlk

Thanks Dee , i feel a better day come on. Of course us ex drinkers think every mood change and twinge is down to being off the booze but in real life everyone has changes in moods and so on,

Anna

Congratulations on 31 days sober.

sleepie

Way to go on 31 days

Soberwolf

Congratulations on 31 days

Jtmlk

Five weeks sober today and slightly worried. I still keep buying things I don't really need and can't afford. So far in the last couple of weeks I've spent around two thousand pounds and include a car, a computer, headphones, desk, two TV units, Paddington bear t shirts and other stuff. I have always had an obsessive streak, just need to reign it in - no gold stars from wifey as I'm currently not working. I went to the pub today with a good friend who currently isn't drinking, we watched some great live music and went for an Indian. I wasn't tempted to drink it just feels something is lacking when you don't. Saw another guy I knew who was tipsy, when I told him I wasn't drinking today or for the last month or so before he was amazed. Drunk people always seem impressed by sobriety as if they would love to be in my position - very weird.

Berrybean

Sounds like you're just trying to fill the gap. Replacing one form of instant gratification / relief / ego-salve with another.
You mentioned a group that you go to. Is this AA? If so, I'd suggest getting a sponsor and starting to do some of the step work so that you can address the malady, and the restless, irritable and discontent nature of your alcoholic self so you can stop behaving in financially wreckless ways, and fill the gap in a way that it more conducive to long term inner peace and serenity.

Jtmlk

Thanks Beccybean, I go to AA on a Monday night and a alcohol group on Wednesdays (referred by GP).

maverickspoint

Amazing work, be very proud of yourself!

Jtmlk

WARNING - Possible triggers in this post - do not read if feeling mentally unwell.

So it's been a bizarre day for me, my mind has been all over the place. I took my meds earlier and had an overwhelming urge to overdose on loads of meds. ( I didn't)
I was feeling really angsty and I wanted to get completely out of it. I took stock of the situation , I've had these feelings before and usually drunk them away. I'm diagnosed with all sorts so it's not new behaviour. My wife rung and asked if she could stay at work, I said no so she came Home. I decided to sleep it off and went to bed at 3.30pm. I slept till 10pm and woke up with the feelings much faded. It reminded me of H.A.L.T and I think due to my sleep apnoea I'm still exhausted. Anyway tomorrow's another day and the boys are back at school which means peace and quiet during the day. Sobriety at the moment seems to be getting harder, need to keep it together for my holiday abroad in a couple of weeks.
Thanks for listening to my rant.

Dee74

I'm glad you got through that testing day jtmlk

D

Jtmlk

Day 37 and another difficult day. My headaches seem to have returned, and I am irritable and angsty. I'm normally placid and calm. Decided to go to bed for a few hours which helped. It might be I'm getting anxious about getting the train tomorrow and travelling 100miles to pick up that car that I bought on eBay but neither needed or wanted. I hate new environments and worry about driving back. I'm also feeling angry that my wife is not giving me any praise - the more I seem to do the more she seems to expect. I had hoped becoming sober would lead her to be more loving and caring but nothing like that has happened. Anyway going back to sleep now - hopefully feel better tomorrow

Berrybean

Sorry, but I did have to smile at the above. Reminded me so much of myself. Unfortunately it can take a while to restore people's trust in us. Quite a while of non-eventful recovery.

How did she take the the car purchase? If my partner did that I'd be feeling a little peeved right now as well to be honest. That's the trouble with exchanging one set of compulsive behaviour for another.

Have you discussed the buying with your sponsor or others in AA?

charx53

Congratulations on your achievements! You're doing great. I am a week into my sobriety and hearing stories is helpful insight. Thanks for the post!

Keep on keeping on!

-Charlie ^.^

Jtmlk

Beccybean, she wasn't that impressed with the car purchase however I am hoping to turn a quick £500 profit on it in the next couple of weeks . I'm also selling my other car which is worth 3 times as much. I was hoping are relationship would get better once I gave up alcohol. I know it's TMI but we have been in a sexless marriage for over 10 years, been together for 17. The last few years it's been my fault due to the amount of medications I was taking and booze I was drinking. Gp always said couldn't help until I was within gov limits for alcohol. I just worry that we are more like siblings and that has made me sad for many years. I'm a very touchy feely person and she is the opposite.
On the bright side having a 7 hour round trip to pick up the car kept me occupied and I had no headache or thoughts of alcohol at all today. Think it shows I need to plan my weeks better. If I felt like today all the time I would be happy but even sober people have mood swings..... Onwards and upwards

Jtmlk

Day 39 and today's been a much better day, mood is much improved!!!!!!