7 Months
7 Months
Today a family member died.
Today I am seven months sober.
Today my new job fell through and I have to reconsider my whole life.
Today I am sick with an awful cold.
Today I sat by the river and watched the cherry blossoms blow in the wind.
I thought to myself, I have no thoughts right now. And I was at peace for a while by the water. I listened to the ducks splash. The clicking of bicycle spokes and the muttering of couples and families as their lives criss crossed over mine.
I thought to myself, well, I certainly couldn't have sat here with a hangover.
But its more then that. As my world expands and contracts, suffers its own little implosions and storms, I watch with eyes wide open.
I don't know what to say or do. I am grateful to be alive and healthy (holistically speaking) today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring.
I feel a deep sadness but also love.
-Kin
Today I am seven months sober.
Today my new job fell through and I have to reconsider my whole life.
Today I am sick with an awful cold.
Today I sat by the river and watched the cherry blossoms blow in the wind.
I thought to myself, I have no thoughts right now. And I was at peace for a while by the water. I listened to the ducks splash. The clicking of bicycle spokes and the muttering of couples and families as their lives criss crossed over mine.
I thought to myself, well, I certainly couldn't have sat here with a hangover.
But its more then that. As my world expands and contracts, suffers its own little implosions and storms, I watch with eyes wide open.
I don't know what to say or do. I am grateful to be alive and healthy (holistically speaking) today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring.
I feel a deep sadness but also love.
-Kin
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
In honor of both your sad loss and your well-earned joy, my favorite poem:
The Peace of Wild Things
BY WENDELL BERRY
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Sending you a hug.
The Peace of Wild Things
BY WENDELL BERRY
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Sending you a hug.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Kin, what an inspiration to maintain your sobriety despite losses and hardships. I am sorry you are suffering right now and for the loss of your family member, and I am impressed by your ongoing sobriety and strength.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)