TP770

The weekends are some of the most difficult times to maintain focus on your sobriety. I try to stay busy...no more sitting around lounging on the couch watching TV. When the game is on...I still try to keep busy doing something. I stay busy with projects, home repair or playing with my children. Not only does it keep me focused on not drinking but it also gets more accomplished!

What do you do? What controls do you have in place to protect your sobriety? How do you stay focus?

Let's share and help each other!!!!

360startstoday

I make no excuses to drink. If I think I'll even consider it, go for a drive, go buy groceries, or just run out for ice cream.

Bunny211

Oh boy. Weekends are hard for me! It helps me to have a schedule.

Usually I wake up, have coffee, call my sponsor and then watch the news for a bit. I try to get some writing in (finishing up my 4th) and then I hit the gym or go for a walk. I try to do something nice for myself - like see a movie or grab dinner with friends. When all else fails I can go to a meeting.

ChloeRose63

I clean the house and catch up on some reading. Loneliness and stress are my triggers. I keep busy, set goals, review my accomplishments over the week and count my blessings. There is no feeling sorry for myself and things are only boring to boring people. I make it a good day because I am in contol. CR

least

To me, weekends are no different than weekdays. I have my sobriety as my number one priority and will not break it for anything.

spadge

Same here! I treat every day as the same - today I am not drinking is fixated in my brain now xxx

gettingsmarter

I always plan go to the gym as soon as I wake up on Sat morning. If I were to drink that would be an impossibility. I'm anything but bored on the weekends. There are too many things to learn.

SoberinSyracuse

In my profession, weekends are busy work times.

But your point still applies -- "down time" is risky time. I'm past the point of missing alcohol during down time, but the void of down time is vaguely uncomfortable. I'm considering taking a little part-time job in the evenings to alleviate the boredom.

So here's my idea: For folks who are struggling with weekend or evening sobriety, why not take a little part-time job for a while? It's not forever. And you'd pick up a few coins.

ZeldaFan

Since I've taken drinking completely off the table as an option it's not as hard as it used to be. That said, I pack my weekends full of stuff to keep me busy. When I can, I make a point to spend at least an hour or so outside getting fresh air and walking. I have projects that I work on and I clean the house and get all my laundry done for the week. Sometimes I play video games and that makes the time fly by. By the time Sunday night comes around, I'm not sure where the weekend went!

amyrose

I try and keep to a plan. Starts with good food and exercise. If I have free time, and that isn't a bad thing, I plan what I want to do - read, watch a movie, read SR, play with my budget spreadsheet (my favorite thing!), talk to friends, go for a walk. Make sure no temptation exists in the house and plan my errands to avoid passing my former wine store. So tonight I have my first dinner with my BFF and best drinking partner, so will plan an exit if he tries to put on the pressure. Tomorrow night big b-day party at a bar. Again making a plan - to have SR on my phone so I can read if things get tense. And can leave at any time as long as I make an appearance. I feel armed for battle and will be so relieved come Sunday when I know these are not insurmountable events!!

Incontrol15

Good thread.

- have a plan. Sure I need one every day, but early on I made damn sure I had a plan for my off days.

- call family and friends. I'd reach out to family members I hadn't spoke to in a very long time. Aunts, uncles, cousins, everybody I could think of.

- my plan included a list of things I can do. A list that was reviewed every weekend. On that list, I stared a couple new things that I HAD to do no matter how much I felt like not doing it. I'll be honest...didn't always do all of them. But I did a lot. Forcing myself into a different environment was critical at times.

- learn and prepare for the week. I used the weekends to add tools to my tool box. I spent much time reading on addiction recovery on weekends. Learned various techniques to win the battle. Added new tools to my bag every weekend and sharpened the tools I already had.

Ruby2

I find unstructured time to be difficult. It helps me to have plans, back up to those plans in case they fall through, and support. Keeping busy was important.

There's also a weekend support thread here on SR. I read and post there daily. Multiple times a day. It helps to get to know people so reaching out feels more natural. I don't have to do this alone.

digdug

When I first got sober, weekends were really tough, as I used to drink straight from Friday evening to Sunday night. I remember my first weekend out of rehab felt like an entire week!

In addition, things like watching TV and playing video games were a big trigger for me because I only did that drunk.

So on weekends, I got out of the house and went to a lot of AA meetings, from an 8am Saturday morning men's meeting until a Sunday night 8pm meeting. In between, I used the time to really make connections with people in AA and develop sober friendships.

Weekends soon turned into just hanging out with my new sober friends. I had to re-learn how to watch TV sober.

Now, weekends go by in a flash. I wish they were longer. I still go to my 8am men's meeting on Saturday morning to start the weekend off right. Then its just constantly busy - catching up on work, hanging out with my friends and girlfriend, taking a nice nap on Saturday afternoon to catch up on the sleep I missed during the week, cooking, and if I'm lucky, maybe I'll get to watch some DVR'd shows I missed during the week.

But I'll never forget how hard those weekends were during those first few months. It definitely gets better as you learn to adapt to a sober state of mind, where drinking is just not an option.

nmd

It's easy to be deceived into thinking I don't need a plan on the easy days. When I'm at work and have a full evening, it's not so overwhelming and sometimes even easy to stay sober.

Weekends definitely test me as well. My plan includes:

- taking care of myself, which includes not getting overly hungry, angry, lonely, tired (halt). A nice cup of coffee and breakfast when I get up and a walk with the dog is a good start.
- not putting myself in positions of temptation, which is taking care of myself as well. Dining out at a brew pub would be a bad idea for example
- being willing to post on SR before drinking
- being willing to use urge surfing before picking up
- being willing to "play the tape out" and think it through before drinking
- calling or emailing someone who I've fallen out of contact with to catch up and use that as a distraction
- keeping busy around the house - taking care of the animals and cleaning and yard work
- changing gears and doing something else if I can't shake an urge to drink

I say "being willing" a number of times because it's a choice. It just takes the effort to getting the habit of using a plan instead of going for a drink.

thomas11

Great topic. I fully admit, it is/was hard. After all, it was my time to drink. I will do anything to keep my mind occupied. Boredom is the enemy. My "go to" has been reading, sports and food. At least for now.

zlhzlh

Because my sleep has improved, I don't get up until much later! Before I was awake at 5 am.......but knackered or passed out by 5pm. Now I lay in till 9am, have a big breakfast, go for a lovely coastal walk with my man and dog, come back and love putting a cookery programme on like Come Dine with me and make Dinner or bake, have started reading more so read the papers top to bottom with a coffee and generally enjoy being at home or in the garden , Sunday's I run or ride my horse , generally something outdorsey and have a nap by the fire cuddled up in the afternoon.......it's not a rock & roll life style but I love it.

Lance40

If weekends are a particularly difficult time for you, then it's important to have a plan for some activities that will help you stay grounded in sobriety. If you want it to be specific to sobriety then that might be an AA meeting, time dedicated to reading/posting on SR or whatever other practice you have taken up as part of your sobriety.

It doesn't always have to be something specifically related to sobriety. I really like Jeff's mention of his "go to" of reading, sports and food. Sobriety seems to thrive when our lives are full of meaningful, positive or enjoyable activities.

MikeM

For me each day is the same, since I don't work.

I have put in place a couple of things so far that helps me stay sober:

- My brother has my wallet, so I can't buy any to begin with. But I expect I wouldn't have anyway, given the other things that are in place.

- I've worked hard on my Wellness Toolbox and it's morphing into a plan for the life I want. So I focus on what I want my life to be like and do the things necessary. A bit every day.

- I keep a balance between being active and resting.

- I focus on health. Through diet, activity and mental stimulation.

- I'm easily bored and it's also one of my triggers. When that happens, I start looking for new things I find interesting.

- Sometimes there's just nothing you can do but sit it out. I've had moments where I wanted to drink. Not very often, but it happens. Since I can't get alcohol, I have found that if you wait, the desire goes away. So part of my strategy is to just accept that it's there and not act on it. It can only stay there for so long. It may be a bit uncomfortable, but eventually it'll go away.

I know that eventually I will need to be in charge of my finances again. And that brings me to part of my attitude:

- Give it a loooooooong time. At this point I think I could handle having my wallet back. I decided to wait 2 more months instead. Until today, when me and my brother agreed to give it 6 months or so and then see how it goes. And what I find very freeing when it comes to learning to be sober in general is to think: "I'll see in 3 years."

Instead of unrealistically expecting that my sobriety is solid very soon, I just relax and mentally give it 3 years. Maybe 4. It's a very freeing thought.

Delizadee

Me too, I like to fill my down or alone time on weekends with meetings. I get out of the house as much as I can too. For me, weeknights are the hardest. I am at home in a basement, not working. So the evenings get to me.
But I'm starting to build a list of hobbies I want to take up again. Also, I'm looking into free online courses. Very fun!

OfEpiphany

accept and embrace the boredom.