You Are Here! Weekender Feb 26...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 74
Originally Posted by ScrewdUpInDe 
I agree, it is hard to hear awful things about ourselves. The only real thing we can do is take responsibility for our wrongs, learn from them and not repeat them in the future.
Try not to be too hard on yourself.
Try not to be too hard on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
Guessing ex did not appreciate the court outcome. Fun texts this morning. I am ignoring and my attorney said one more and we are filing restraining order on Monday. Fun times.
Mr. Fireman, as always, proving himself to be amazing. I forwarded the texts and he said "pack a bag, you are coming to stay with me".
I hate that past decisions can haunt you
Mr. Fireman, as always, proving himself to be amazing. I forwarded the texts and he said "pack a bag, you are coming to stay with me".
I hate that past decisions can haunt you
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,819
But LA - his behavior has nothing to do with your past decisions. I used to kick myself for marrying husband #1 and ask myself her I could not have seen the signs. Like somehow it was my fault he turned into an abusive a**hole. I got over it eventually. I know what you're saying about the past coming back, but this is ALL on him. You got together with him in good faith. He abused that faith.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,478
.
Got this ancient Laptop going again. Couldn't even get it to Start-up Mode before. LEDs flashing. Weirdness. I didn't want to slog through what LBrain has faced on Win 10, so now I don't. I can now shop for a new Laptop at a more leisurely pace. I backed up this one last Month, and have some other stuff on here I should also backup. This - how you say - having managed a Bullet Of Dodging - will motivate me.
So, I'm catching up on reading here. Speaking of motivation, this gem from Melina in Post #408 is simply GD ironically funny this Morning:
'I'm irritated bc I read The Magic Art of Tidying Up for inspiration and all its been doing is annoying me. Bc I'm not gonna do it her way'.
*Guffaw*
Welp, my Epiphanies are infrequent. But, I had one this Morning upon waking after a restless Night, and sequential, really-upsetting Dreams that involved feeling trapped. Old News to plenty of Folks here, I'm guessing.
Whether or not the Scenario actually happens, my Epiphany was that I've got this sense of dread - or even mild PTSD[?] - at being stuck in situations with 'involuntary' Drinking - not agreed to advance - going on around me. Going into Bars for Chicken Wings, for example, is a non-issue because I know what I'm in for. W/o pinging on her singularly [it occasionally happens for other reasons], MesaMate has pulled several of these 'Pressure Plays'. Pull out a smuggled Bottle of Wine up at ~11,000' at a remote Trailer Campsite before watching the recent Lunar Eclipse. I muscled through my pissed-off-ed-ness, but it leads to dread while waiting for the proverbial Other Shoe To Drop next time. Talking it out hasn't done much good, due to the POV that Drinking is some uniquely-privileged 'Right' beyond questioning. I hate being Alcohol-Blindsided, and make no Apologies for that.
So, now that I've ID'ed the source of this vaporous dread, I can preemptively manage Scenarios. Just like driving a 2nd Car to a Wedding Reception as an Escape Module. As I processed this through this Morning, this Epiphany triggered a huge sense of relief. Yah, the Devil Is In The Details, but my lagging Spirit perked, and my Conviction returned. I envisioned the next Sub-Floor of keeping my side of the Street clean. I drilled down to the next level of some major Zen Detaching. Also, I'm sort of Paying Myself Forward. That is, I can accept more Alcohol-related BS in a more detached manner if I plan my next solo Trailer Outing w/MesaDog well in advance. Sorta like how let yourself have a Sweet if you make your Weight Loss Goal that Month.
Then, I made some tasty Breakfast Burritos...
.
Got this ancient Laptop going again. Couldn't even get it to Start-up Mode before. LEDs flashing. Weirdness. I didn't want to slog through what LBrain has faced on Win 10, so now I don't. I can now shop for a new Laptop at a more leisurely pace. I backed up this one last Month, and have some other stuff on here I should also backup. This - how you say - having managed a Bullet Of Dodging - will motivate me.
So, I'm catching up on reading here. Speaking of motivation, this gem from Melina in Post #408 is simply GD ironically funny this Morning:
'I'm irritated bc I read The Magic Art of Tidying Up for inspiration and all its been doing is annoying me. Bc I'm not gonna do it her way'.
*Guffaw*
Welp, my Epiphanies are infrequent. But, I had one this Morning upon waking after a restless Night, and sequential, really-upsetting Dreams that involved feeling trapped. Old News to plenty of Folks here, I'm guessing.
Whether or not the Scenario actually happens, my Epiphany was that I've got this sense of dread - or even mild PTSD[?] - at being stuck in situations with 'involuntary' Drinking - not agreed to advance - going on around me. Going into Bars for Chicken Wings, for example, is a non-issue because I know what I'm in for. W/o pinging on her singularly [it occasionally happens for other reasons], MesaMate has pulled several of these 'Pressure Plays'. Pull out a smuggled Bottle of Wine up at ~11,000' at a remote Trailer Campsite before watching the recent Lunar Eclipse. I muscled through my pissed-off-ed-ness, but it leads to dread while waiting for the proverbial Other Shoe To Drop next time. Talking it out hasn't done much good, due to the POV that Drinking is some uniquely-privileged 'Right' beyond questioning. I hate being Alcohol-Blindsided, and make no Apologies for that.
So, now that I've ID'ed the source of this vaporous dread, I can preemptively manage Scenarios. Just like driving a 2nd Car to a Wedding Reception as an Escape Module. As I processed this through this Morning, this Epiphany triggered a huge sense of relief. Yah, the Devil Is In The Details, but my lagging Spirit perked, and my Conviction returned. I envisioned the next Sub-Floor of keeping my side of the Street clean. I drilled down to the next level of some major Zen Detaching. Also, I'm sort of Paying Myself Forward. That is, I can accept more Alcohol-related BS in a more detached manner if I plan my next solo Trailer Outing w/MesaDog well in advance. Sorta like how let yourself have a Sweet if you make your Weight Loss Goal that Month.
Then, I made some tasty Breakfast Burritos...
.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Ken!!! Omg!!! I want that!!!
I have peppers and sausages and its the weekend
LA: my best friend married a psychopath, so much so that I had to fly down to los angeles to testify in court for her last minute.
He kidnapped their son TWICE, once in LA, he stopped by the house asking if he could take the son out for ice cream- he never brought him back, when he wouldn't answer texts or calls after hours; she went to his house and the police showed up.
He had filed a restraining order- my friend is the one f the most sensitive gentle natured women ever so it was ludicrous.
finally after a couple days she got her son back.
Another time the judge said that the ex could take her son to France for xmas (he's from Paris)
Of course he didn't bring him back, when my friend tried to call he wouldn't answer, his parents answered and said " he doesn't feel like talking to you" ummmm what!?!!! She was screaming at them " give me my son back"
So she had to use all her savings and fly to France to get him back.
It was so bad, that's why I went down there, she was a hysterical mess crying on the bathroom floor etc.
Its not your fault or her fault these guys are sociopaths
She's so upset she's stuck with this lunatic in her life forever.
Xoxo
I have peppers and sausages and its the weekend
LA: my best friend married a psychopath, so much so that I had to fly down to los angeles to testify in court for her last minute.
He kidnapped their son TWICE, once in LA, he stopped by the house asking if he could take the son out for ice cream- he never brought him back, when he wouldn't answer texts or calls after hours; she went to his house and the police showed up.
He had filed a restraining order- my friend is the one f the most sensitive gentle natured women ever so it was ludicrous.
finally after a couple days she got her son back.
Another time the judge said that the ex could take her son to France for xmas (he's from Paris)
Of course he didn't bring him back, when my friend tried to call he wouldn't answer, his parents answered and said " he doesn't feel like talking to you" ummmm what!?!!! She was screaming at them " give me my son back"
So she had to use all her savings and fly to France to get him back.
It was so bad, that's why I went down there, she was a hysterical mess crying on the bathroom floor etc.
Its not your fault or her fault these guys are sociopaths
She's so upset she's stuck with this lunatic in her life forever.
Xoxo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Mia: I've done some cringe worthy things too- omg have I ever :/
One is that when I first realized I had a drinking problem was because I threw my glass of wine in my exes face.
But he was a super jerk so, I'm kinda glad I did that one ( in a blackout)
One is that when I first realized I had a drinking problem was because I threw my glass of wine in my exes face.
But he was a super jerk so, I'm kinda glad I did that one ( in a blackout)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
No pants Saturday, that's what's going on around here.
Chicken, avocado, arugula and provolone sammie, too.
And I'm trolling for attention from exes by text, one of my guilty pleasures. I'm a jerk.
I'm going to a meeting later, I'm super itchy and antsy.
Chicken, avocado, arugula and provolone sammie, too.
And I'm trolling for attention from exes by text, one of my guilty pleasures. I'm a jerk.
I'm going to a meeting later, I'm super itchy and antsy.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Mesa: the alcohol blindsiding can be rough I imagine! It doesn't happen to me too much, but I imagine it would be really hard if I had a partner that liked to drink.
I'm not sure what you should do! Xoxoxo
Just wanted to say I get that it must be hard.
I'm not sure what you should do! Xoxoxo
Just wanted to say I get that it must be hard.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Jen, I'm having a terrible time deciding on yoga-wear. I have way too many items in my online shopping cart. I don't need $800 worth of yoga clothes. This is crazy. I have got to remove some of it. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Melina: I was thinking of going to AA tomorrow ( probably won't because I don't like it)
But I ran into a guy that I met at AA in my neighbourhood today, he asked why I never come to any meetings, I said because I don't like them.
Last time I went to one they pretty much borderline argued with me that if I don't work the steps, get a higher power and do what they say that I'm doomed.
I don't like organized groups either.
But I would like to meet other sober people, maybe I'll go, not sure yet.
But I ran into a guy that I met at AA in my neighbourhood today, he asked why I never come to any meetings, I said because I don't like them.
Last time I went to one they pretty much borderline argued with me that if I don't work the steps, get a higher power and do what they say that I'm doomed.
I don't like organized groups either.
But I would like to meet other sober people, maybe I'll go, not sure yet.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi
Melina: I was thinking of going to AA tomorrow ( probably won't because I don't like it)
But I ran into a guy that I met at AA in my neighbourhood today, he asked why I never come to any meetings, I said because I don't like them.
Last time I went to one they pretty much borderline argued with me that if I don't work the steps, get a higher power and do what they say that I'm doomed.
I don't like organized groups either.
But I would like to meet other sober people, maybe I'll go, not sure yet.
But I ran into a guy that I met at AA in my neighbourhood today, he asked why I never come to any meetings, I said because I don't like them.
Last time I went to one they pretty much borderline argued with me that if I don't work the steps, get a higher power and do what they say that I'm doomed.
I don't like organized groups either.
But I would like to meet other sober people, maybe I'll go, not sure yet.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I tell myself to shut up about not working the program, but they always start on me about what step am I on? Do. I have a sponsor?
Then I have to say :/
I also don't believe in the theory that alcoholism is a disease either ( not saying its wrong, its just my thinking)
And I'm not into the higher power thing either.
I'll go to smart recovery too and see what's up there.
Not bashing AA anyone- I just need to find my own way xoxo
Then I have to say :/
I also don't believe in the theory that alcoholism is a disease either ( not saying its wrong, its just my thinking)
And I'm not into the higher power thing either.
I'll go to smart recovery too and see what's up there.
Not bashing AA anyone- I just need to find my own way xoxo
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,819
I have the same quibble with AA - that some people say, "do it our way or kiss the rest of your life goodbye." I still go to at least a meeting a week, though, because some of what the program has to offer really is good. I just pick and choose what to listen to and implement. I refuse to be told that if I don't work every step as written and pray every day that I'm immediately going to become a hopeless drunk loser again and that I'll die that way. I listen to the hopeful, positive stuff, and work the steps as I see fit for myself. I learned a whole lot more in treatment, and it made more sense to me, but that's over and I still feel the need to connect with people who can help me work through more stuff. And the stories people tell are a good reminder of where I never want to go again.
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