Curious for those with more time under their belt than me

Old 02-21-2016, 03:33 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
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Originally Posted by 48heath View Post
No daily attendance at meetings is not encouraged,few places in the world have the luxury of daily meetings.Some Countries have none,people still stay sober though.The reason you drank is because you wanted to,not because you were attending meetings.
Relax, no offense was intended and I was not soliciting input.
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Old 02-21-2016, 03:54 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
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Location: Syracuse, NY
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Syracuse NY has multiple meetings every day and newcomers ARE pressured about attendance, which was creating a schedule stressor for me. And as a very religious person, I found there were many AA doctrines too contrary to my faith, which was also another stressor. Too many stressors too early in sobriety were not a good recipe for me.

I'm having much better success now using resources which align with my schedule and my spiritual beliefs about the nature of illness and healing.

I encourage the OP to explore the full range of options including but not limited to AA, and to listen to their instincts in ruling things in and out. If something feels wrong to them, it very likely IS wrong for them.

And it's important to gauge stressors. You don't want too many, and they need to be the right ones!
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Old 02-21-2016, 03:59 PM
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I depended on books initially, for the first few years. And, I made significant changes in my lifestyle. Then I found SR and I have been here ever since.
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Old 02-21-2016, 04:02 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Location: Upstate New York
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As you said, the journey is unique for all of us. I was similar to Dee, in that I was desperate to save myself. I'd been drinking for many years & was completely dependent. Wanting to live was my motivation. I attended a few court ordered AA meetings and briefly saw a therapist - but other than that it was SR and becoming educated on Alcoholism. I have 8 yrs. sober.

I'm really glad you're here, ICan.
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Old 02-21-2016, 04:19 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Today I cleaned up some in my garage and especially much needed organization of my workbench piled high with wrenches, screwdrivers, fasteners and various remnant parts of household repair projects. As I placed items in cabinets and on a pegboard I took stock of the variety of tools on the workbench, many if which are not used very often but when needed I'm glad they are there.

The point is these tools at hand are analogous to my recovery at 20 months. It is good to have a variety of items readily available as I continue on my journey repairing body , mind and spirit.

Like the tools on my bench are specific so are my recovery items - when I long for f2f fellowship from others who know me I can go to a meeting. SR provides me a worldwide foothold from many with a wide view of life - amazing.

There a lot more, but you get the idea. Sometimes being uncomfortable is the very essence of learning and growth I have found.

Thanks for the post
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Old 02-21-2016, 07:34 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
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One thing I do love about meeting is the fellowship. I really love those people. Fitting meetings into your wchedule isn't tough. All you need to do is go to them. I wouldn't be able to maintain as high quality sobriety if I just used SR, but that is just my opinion.
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Old 02-21-2016, 08:02 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I went to a non 12 step rehab and their philosophy was almost the exact opposite of AA. Their theory was that you're not "broken," that you have the wisdom within yourself to make healthy choices, that you're not morally lacking because you drink too much. It was very holistic. I went to a women's AA meeting after I got back, and while there seemed to be a lot of funny, vibrant women there, I couldn't get past the AA dogma and the sob stories. I attend a weekly online meeting with the rehab I attended but that's it. Most people who quit do it on their own.
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Old 02-21-2016, 09:01 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by PaulDaveSmithJo View Post
My approach was more oriented to a number of things which can be subsumed under the concept of "mindfulness."

Mindfulness, if I understand it correctly, helped me to target my desire. This involved a number of things:

1) Seeing alcohol for what it is: a poison (literally - i.e., it is fatal if taken in large doses).

2) Understanding the role of dopamine and serotonin in both addiction (how it confuses their natural processes and thus creates a confused desire) and recovery (how I must seek healthy means to release these chemicals into my body).

3) Understanding that I can separate my thoughts (such as desire) from my self; I can experience desire, but I don't have to act on it. I can dispute and therefore disempower my unhealthy desires.

4) Understanding that the brain is changeable and adaptable, not only on a psychological level, but a neurological level. Disputing thoughts can actually 're-wire' the brain, and free it from taking well-worn routes of thinking. It can, on a physical/neurological level, re-orient itself away from old habits and proclivities (this phenomenon is referred to as "neuroplasticity").

There are a lot of materials which take this approach:

On seeing alcohol for what it is:
Alan Carr, The Easy Way to Quit Drinking

On the chemistry and biology of addiction:
Mark Lewis, The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease; Gabor Mate, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts; Markus Heilig, The Thirteenth Step: Addiction in the Age of Brain Science

On thoughts vs. self:
Bhante Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English; Jack Trimpey, Rational Recovery

On neuroplasticity:
Jeffrey M. Schwartz, You Are Not Your Brain, Norman Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself
Great information. Thank you for this post. I'm taking a very similar approach to sobriety, so I find your journey to be an inspiration.
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Old 02-21-2016, 09:22 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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For me sobriety is closely linked with fitness-bodily, mentally, emotionally,spiritually...and... Being able to express myself in healthy ways... How I deal with stress is huge...exercise of the mind is just as important as the body... Knowing your triggers too...dietary is extremely important... We are what we eat...
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Old 02-21-2016, 09:40 PM
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Sobriety is Traditional
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Location: Orcas Island, Washington
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My wife and I both quit drinking about three years ago. We went to ninety AA meetings in our first ninety days, and feel it gave our sobriety a solid foundation. She stopped going to meetings, but I still go to two or three a week.
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Old 02-21-2016, 10:13 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Ole George Jones said a turning point for him was when he started eating right...
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