Not my circus not my monkeys.
Science and Scripture
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: LA
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by stevepearce 
Hi.
I'm typing this lying in bed. Everyone else in the house is asleep hung-over. I'm not ! Last night there was a party in our house for my wife's birthday. There was LOTS of drinking and the music was loud and went on til early in the morning.
I stayed up with them drinking my non alcoholic treat drink until 11pm then went to bed and watched a film.
I did feel the pull of alcohol. It was the first party I've been at in my now 36 days of not drinking. In my head I had the 'Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death' verse from the bible at one point, which made me smile. And it did feel like that with beer and wine bottles strewn all over the place. But I didn't want to drink at any point.
Did I enjoy the party ? Not really. They just got increasingly drunker and worse company until I'd had enough and departed. Would I have enjoyed it if I had drunk ? No ! I would have got very drunk, as is my modus operandi. My mind would have ended up in a very bad place and I more than likely would have gotten into an argument with my wife. And I would be feeling awful now, not typing this as I am, feeling good and feeling a little proud of myself.
A social event was the trigger that caused my relapse before Christmas after a similar time sober. My sober muscles it would appear are getting stronger ! I am slowly learning how to live without alcohol.
Anyway thought I'd share my experience.
Sending you all strength in your journey.
Steve.
I'm typing this lying in bed. Everyone else in the house is asleep hung-over. I'm not ! Last night there was a party in our house for my wife's birthday. There was LOTS of drinking and the music was loud and went on til early in the morning.
I stayed up with them drinking my non alcoholic treat drink until 11pm then went to bed and watched a film.
I did feel the pull of alcohol. It was the first party I've been at in my now 36 days of not drinking. In my head I had the 'Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death' verse from the bible at one point, which made me smile. And it did feel like that with beer and wine bottles strewn all over the place. But I didn't want to drink at any point.
Did I enjoy the party ? Not really. They just got increasingly drunker and worse company until I'd had enough and departed. Would I have enjoyed it if I had drunk ? No ! I would have got very drunk, as is my modus operandi. My mind would have ended up in a very bad place and I more than likely would have gotten into an argument with my wife. And I would be feeling awful now, not typing this as I am, feeling good and feeling a little proud of myself.
A social event was the trigger that caused my relapse before Christmas after a similar time sober. My sober muscles it would appear are getting stronger ! I am slowly learning how to live without alcohol.
Anyway thought I'd share my experience.
Sending you all strength in your journey.
Steve.
You chose to change how you wanted to feel with direct healthy thinking and behavior. You did not act on your feelings of a quick fix or mood changer of getting drunk. Bottom line is, "A fool vents all their feelings, but a wiser person holds them in check." "You were not conformed to this world but transformed in your new thinking!"
You should be proud! You regained control over your emotions with healthy behavior. This is the antidote for victory. You are a winner. Winners have values. When your values trump your feelings for a quick fix or mood changer, you will find new purpose in life.
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