stevepearce

Hi.
I'm typing this lying in bed. Everyone else in the house is asleep hung-over. I'm not ! Last night there was a party in our house for my wife's birthday. There was LOTS of drinking and the music was loud and went on til early in the morning.
I stayed up with them drinking my non alcoholic treat drink until 11pm then went to bed and watched a film.
I did feel the pull of alcohol. It was the first party I've been at in my now 36 days of not drinking. In my head I had the 'Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death' verse from the bible at one point, which made me smile. And it did feel like that with beer and wine bottles strewn all over the place. But I didn't want to drink at any point.
Did I enjoy the party ? Not really. They just got increasingly drunker and worse company until I'd had enough and departed. Would I have enjoyed it if I had drunk ? No ! I would have got very drunk, as is my modus operandi. My mind would have ended up in a very bad place and I more than likely would have gotten into an argument with my wife. And I would be feeling awful now, not typing this as I am, feeling good and feeling a little proud of myself.
A social event was the trigger that caused my relapse before Christmas after a similar time sober. My sober muscles it would appear are getting stronger ! I am slowly learning how to live without alcohol.
Anyway thought I'd share my experience.
Sending you all strength in your journey.

Steve.

Dee74

good for you Steve

D

Soberwolf

That's great Steve

toby2159

Well done Steve

You should feel very proud of yourself. I am on day 37 and cannot imagine being so strong yet in my own home which is where I did most of my drinking.

Keep flexing those muscles and stay strong.

stevepearce

Thanks Toby. Yeah my wife is a drinker so that is something I am having to learn to switch off to. Stay strong my friend.

nova84

What a fantastic achievement Steve...good on you 👍👍👍

zlhzlh

Well done STEVE hope you enjoy today feeling clean, non hung and alive! As opposed to how it could have felt !

Hawkeye13

It does take some adjusting when your spouse is still drinking.
My husband still is also and I've learned to ignore the bottles on the workbench
(he actually puts them there so I don't have to see them in the kitchen, which I
appreciate, but I would much prefer living in a "dry" home altogether)
and I also just to go to bed early when he gets lit up and rambling.
He's overall pretty mellow and polite with the drinking most of the time,
but sometimes he's angry or emotional and that's when living with
a still-drinking spouse can be very triggering for your drinking.
Watch for that and get out of the situation if needed.

Great job not drinking steve--sober muscles looking good!

firstymer

I know exactly how you feel, Steve. My wife still drinks and sometimes I am asked to attend events that turn into drunkfests. At first they were triggers, tests that made me stressed and a resentful. Now, I see these events as I would a niece's very bad piano recital. Something I may feel obligated to attend, but wishing I was somewhere else.

Congratulations on not drinking. Says strong.

FarToGo

Good job! You can feel really proud as that's quite an achievement.
xx

Ariesagain

What a challenge and you handled it so well! I love how you took care of yourself and calmly left to go watch a movie.

My husband drinks, too, and it was really hard the first week...and then he was gone for a week but the wine and beer was still here. Now it's a challenge because he's drinking much less, which is great, but he's doing the moderation mambo so he's going through early withdrawal over and over again. It's like Groundhog Day in hell.

Maybe your wife will follow your lead?

Well done, you!

dwtbd

My wife still drinks and although that can make its own challenges it need not affect our decisions.
Great job and please go ahead and be real proud , and keep the pride going forward that need not ever shrink, but rest assured the 'difficulty' of getting through such an evening will lessen. Keep truckin
love the ' piano recital analogy' lol!

stevepearce

Thanks guys. Yeah the drinking wife is a challenge. I did feel some resentment this morning and found it quite difficult to be nice. But I did some reading on line and eventually came around. She twisted her ankle dancing drunk. I put an ice pack on it but she didn't get to much sympathy I must confess. We also agreed that they wouldn't smoke in the house as we have children, but when I came down they obviously had been ! I was quite annoyed and spent some time trying to work out how annoyed I should be and what I should say. I let her know that I knew and she just shrugged it off ?

Vinificent

Congratulations - that is a major success! When I started on this journey the first thing I did was go around the entire house and putting every bottle in 3 big boxes (yes there was ALOT due to my paranoia of running out). Then I texted my husband, saying I had a drinking problem, and to please take the boxes somewhere I couldn't get to them; I didn't care where, as long as I didn't know. He complied and I don't think I would be where I am now - 32 days - without happening, and I have not hosted anything at the house since. So it was extremely strong and brave for you to not only have it in your house but manage not to have any - great job!

Surrender2win

Keeping resentment in check with a drinking spouse is pretty difficult, especially during the early days. My husband can be very annoying most of the time when he's been drinking, but it gets easier to handle after some sober time. Hopefully, your wife will respect your wishes on smoking in the house and watch her drinking around you as well.

Great job on building up your sober muscles!!

Zebra1275

Good for you. I bet it's a great feeling the next morning to know you've stayed sober!

SoberinSyracuse

This is nothing less than awesome. Great job, Steve.

I admire all you guys with drinking spouses. As an "at home" drinker, that would be extremely challenging for me.

JulySeaCoast

Awesome work, Steve!!!! And I agree, Zebra!! Isn't it just the best feeling to wake up in the morning sober and not hungover? I used to feel guilt and self hate every morning along with endless justification for drinking the night before and then the ridiculous all day arguments with myself about figuring out how much to drink that night. All that crap is gone from my mind. Sorry for hijack, Steve - you should feel proud!

JulySeaCoast

Yeah, that would be hard for me, too. My husband rarely drinks. It was me doing it all.

jessie65

That is really awesome. I'm not sure I could handle something like that yet (although I hope I could).
Great job.