One small crack does not mean that you are broken
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi PNM,
I'm sorry that you drank last night, but glad that you came right back on here. Lots of good advice above, and I think the biggest part is having a plan.
I have been on and off SR for the past few years as well, and each time I have slipped back to drinking it is because I became lax with my plan, stopped logging in daily, stopped journaling, reading... And the reason I stopped was because I thought I was fine and then that little voice came back saying "you are just fine, and can absolutely moderate." I hate that little voice.
I decided this was the year that I squash that voice, I have been logging into SR daily, as well as Women for Sobriety (lots of moms there) and also reading blogs, journaling, exercise and focusing on being mindful. I have been a better mom this past month, because I was fully present.
You can so this, take some time today to write down your plan, and when/if you get the urge to drink come here first, there is always someone who can help talk you through it.
❤️Delilah
I'm sorry that you drank last night, but glad that you came right back on here. Lots of good advice above, and I think the biggest part is having a plan.
I have been on and off SR for the past few years as well, and each time I have slipped back to drinking it is because I became lax with my plan, stopped logging in daily, stopped journaling, reading... And the reason I stopped was because I thought I was fine and then that little voice came back saying "you are just fine, and can absolutely moderate." I hate that little voice.
I decided this was the year that I squash that voice, I have been logging into SR daily, as well as Women for Sobriety (lots of moms there) and also reading blogs, journaling, exercise and focusing on being mindful. I have been a better mom this past month, because I was fully present.
You can so this, take some time today to write down your plan, and when/if you get the urge to drink come here first, there is always someone who can help talk you through it.
❤️Delilah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Even the title of this thread shows to me that the denial of your probem with alcohol is very, very strong. You obsesssed about that wine for days before hand more likely as you say, you obsessed about buying it and debated for hours about drinking it. That is no "small crack".....its full blown addiction rearing its head.
What I didn't mention in my post, was how I didn't drink a few days ago on the anniversary of my miscarriage 2 years ago, and that's when I really wanted to drink!! I did post here twice when I was having cravings and didn't drink either time! Yes I have a lot of work to do, and yes I need a plan, and sorry if I'm not "getting it" as fast as I should, but I am NOT denying my addiction anymore. I am NOT saying that I can drink moderately anymore. I am NOT trying to rationalize that I am a normal drinker anymore. I AM addicted. I KNOW I can't drink moderately. And I KNOW I am not a normal person that can drink wine on Saturday and stop for the rest of the week. I feel like I'm making progress at least in the sense that I am not denying the reality of my problem. I have gone to aa meetings the last few months, not regularly but I've gone, I did seek out a counselor which didn't work out, but I will try again. Maybe I am in denial... but not sure what I would be denying, since I agree with everything you guys say. I've had trouble following through with things since I was a child. I guess old habits die hard.
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