New Member
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Arthur
Posts: 1
New Member
Hi, I am new to this site. Just looking for daily support, and someone to talk to. I feel very alone, sad, mad, tired, and frustrated. I'm seeking strength, to move forward in a happy life with my children (daughters 10 and 3) I've been with my husband for 15 years this month, I love him, but hate who is is when he drinks, which is everyday. We have been through so much, it's been a scary rollercoaster ride, and I don't want to give up. How can I make him understand how I feel?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 66
Hi Kathryne! Welcome! I don't know exactly what to say, as I am in the opposite situation. My DH and I have been together 12 years, and he has dealt with my bad behavior from drinking for about 7 of those years. The best way to come at him is with love. Not anger. The drinker does not react well to anger or to someone forcing them into "quitting." However, you can make sure he knows you love him, you love all the good times you have had without him drinking, and give examples. REMIND him of those times. It may not stop him in his tracks, but it may give him something to think about next time he picks up the drink - he may start really realizing the jeopardy he is putting his family in.
I truly hope you find solace here on this site. I know there is a forum for families of addicts, as well. That may help.
Good vibes, Kathryne!
I truly hope you find solace here on this site. I know there is a forum for families of addicts, as well. That may help.
Good vibes, Kathryne!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Sorry for what brings you to SR. I'm not sure you can make him understand how you feel by talking with him. But exercising some strict boundaries that protect you and your daughters will show him how you feel.
We have an active friends and family board. Lots of experience in exactly what you are going through:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
We have an active friends and family board. Lots of experience in exactly what you are going through:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Johannesburg
Posts: 203
Welcome Kathryne
As an alcoholic I know that nobody could have shamed, threatened, scared or loved me sober. Consequences didn't stop me drinking.
As previously stated, you can take care of yourself and your kids and the Friends and Family forum is a great place to start!
I wish you all the best
As an alcoholic I know that nobody could have shamed, threatened, scared or loved me sober. Consequences didn't stop me drinking.
As previously stated, you can take care of yourself and your kids and the Friends and Family forum is a great place to start!
I wish you all the best
Resident Awesome Guy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
Welcome. I was the drinker in a very similar situation. I got ultimatums, threats, tears, and everything else you could imagine. It wasn't until I was given space, it wasn't until my wife let me process what the drinking was doing to myself and my relationship with my family, and it wasn't until I wanted to quit for me, not anyone else, that it actually worked. I hope you find peace and that things work out.
You can't make him understand but you can set boundaries for his behavior.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome Kathryne. I'm sorry for what brings you here. I'd second the suggestion to post and read on the family & friends of alcoholics forum. That's what first brought me to SR.
There can be peace and I hope you find it. Your husband may very well know how you feel but it won't make a difference until he decides to quit. That's an unfortunate truth about addiction.
Be well and keep coming back.
There can be peace and I hope you find it. Your husband may very well know how you feel but it won't make a difference until he decides to quit. That's an unfortunate truth about addiction.
Be well and keep coming back.
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