grampa

I justlike to put my thoughts down maybe somebody can relate to then years ago and not that many I used to go out at night I remember going to the movies library bible studies at church etc I see how alcohol has made me a prisoner now I don't take my wife for a meal because I have to have a drink before she comes home from work and if I have a meal I cant drink a lot of beer after ive eaten it literaly is in my mind morning noon and night costs me a fortune and gives nothing I am on day 3 and was thinking I don't even feel that happy drinking its come to the point that I am not drinking to be happy I am drinking to get numb after my relapse my drinking got worse never used to drink at 3am never took vodka and orange in my flask at work it very slow and progressive but it managed to get me don't know when the switch flipped from drinker to alcoholic but it did thanks all at SR for letting an old man ramble Going to try to get a new start lot of changes just me and my wife at home now at work got rid of an absolutely obnoxious person in my life next Sunday going to go back to church hopefully some positive changes that will help me in my recovery

Shantilove

I can relate, I often wonder when the switch flipped? Once it's flipped it's flipped for good though, no going back.
Glad to hear you are focusing on positive changes things will get better.

FreeOwl

I can also relate.

But the good news is Ive found there's another position on the switch;

From drinker to alcoholic to SOBER!!

Its a much better setting.

Soberween

Yea, I've never been able to pinpoint exactly where and when I crossed over that invisible line. I know exactly what you mean about getting out of the house at night. I was so enslaved to that bottle of wine in the end that I would actually marvel at people who were out and about at night time perfectly sober and free. So glad I no longer live in that hell.

FarToGo

I can relate, (bet lot's of us can), drinking wasn't making me happy for years, but still kept doing it.
It also took over most of my thoughts, when to get some, when I might run out, when can I escape this occasion (or whatever) so I can start drinking properly.
Early days are tough, but you will get free of this cycle of misery. Keep at it, it really will get easier.
xx

Obladi

Drinking wasn't pleasant for me either, but it's what I did. Like a robot. Or something.

I think 3 days is a great start, grampa. If all you are managing is to Not Drink, that's ok. Glad to hear you've got plans to go to church next Sunday - I imagine your wife will be pleased.

What are you going to do today?

Hawkeye13

I think you've made a great start grampa.
Three days of not-drinking isn't easy, but you did it
and now it should start getting a bit better.
Getting rid of toxic people is always powerful--

I suggest you take your wife out for a meal