Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Galway
Posts: 25
Day 1
Good evening out there.
I think my picture is upside down. I'll tackle that in a few days.
Hopefully today is the day I turn my life around. Last night I drank 2 bottles of red wine and a bottle of baileys. I didn't go to work (I'm self employed which only adds to my problem besause I can get away with it) I canceled my dental appoint for the 3rd time due to being hungover. I have black outs every night I drink, usually every 3 nights. I'm getting fat, red faced, neglecting and lying to everyone around me. My friends all seem to be moving on with their lives, starting families, having 2 glasses of wine on a night out, I aim to join them from today on.
I'm longing to start a family but it's not happening. I'm sure my drinking is playing a part in this. I turn 36 in March and have booked into a fertility clinic. I need to change.
I feel like I have cheated by ordering declinol online. I just don't think I can give up without having something to latch onto for the 1st few weeks. As soon as I placed the order I felt a weight had been lifted. Drink has caused me to do some terrible things. I'm lucky I have a loving husband(who is also thinking of giving up) Who has put up with my behaviour for years. My father is a functioning alcoholic drinking at least 3 bottles of wine every night. His mother was also an alcoholic. I need to kick this habit and hopefully help him. My life has revolved around drink and still does. I'm nervous about coping in social situations because I have always been the 'pissed' one. I have a sister who is in the same situation as me. She woke up alone on the beach a few weeks ago and spent last weekend in hospital having fallen on broken glass. We live in different countries and I'm so worried about her. We do things together. If I do this she will also.
I have gotten huge motivation from reading people's posts and am awestruck at how far people have come. Day 1 nearly over... It's day 3 that I'm dreading.
I will post how I find the declinol.
for listening.
No more days spent with my head stuck in a toilet.
I think my picture is upside down. I'll tackle that in a few days.
Hopefully today is the day I turn my life around. Last night I drank 2 bottles of red wine and a bottle of baileys. I didn't go to work (I'm self employed which only adds to my problem besause I can get away with it) I canceled my dental appoint for the 3rd time due to being hungover. I have black outs every night I drink, usually every 3 nights. I'm getting fat, red faced, neglecting and lying to everyone around me. My friends all seem to be moving on with their lives, starting families, having 2 glasses of wine on a night out, I aim to join them from today on.
I'm longing to start a family but it's not happening. I'm sure my drinking is playing a part in this. I turn 36 in March and have booked into a fertility clinic. I need to change.
I feel like I have cheated by ordering declinol online. I just don't think I can give up without having something to latch onto for the 1st few weeks. As soon as I placed the order I felt a weight had been lifted. Drink has caused me to do some terrible things. I'm lucky I have a loving husband(who is also thinking of giving up) Who has put up with my behaviour for years. My father is a functioning alcoholic drinking at least 3 bottles of wine every night. His mother was also an alcoholic. I need to kick this habit and hopefully help him. My life has revolved around drink and still does. I'm nervous about coping in social situations because I have always been the 'pissed' one. I have a sister who is in the same situation as me. She woke up alone on the beach a few weeks ago and spent last weekend in hospital having fallen on broken glass. We live in different countries and I'm so worried about her. We do things together. If I do this she will also.
I have gotten huge motivation from reading people's posts and am awestruck at how far people have come. Day 1 nearly over... It's day 3 that I'm dreading.
I will post how I find the declinol.
for listening.No more days spent with my head stuck in a toilet.
I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, Penelope; very glad you found us.
There is so much support, encouragement and understanding to be found here.
It sounds as though you are ready for sobriety. I hope that you find it as rewarding as I have.
Very glad that you are here.
There is so much support, encouragement and understanding to be found here.
It sounds as though you are ready for sobriety. I hope that you find it as rewarding as I have.
Very glad that you are here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Galway
Posts: 25
Finally found people to talk to who don't judge me. What a relief. I'm actually looking forward to my 1st urge... Mental I know... But at least I have somewhere to turn to 1st.
Tks everyone.
Tks everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
You can do this -- the first day is hard, but I can see you have a lot of incentive.
Do this for you -- I also had fertility issues and alcohol is the worst thing you can do -- so go for it now, don't wait any longer. Don't want to be negative, but at 36 there is no time to lose.
My girls are the best thing I have ever done -- don't give that up for the worst thing I have ever done...
Do this for you -- I also had fertility issues and alcohol is the worst thing you can do -- so go for it now, don't wait any longer. Don't want to be negative, but at 36 there is no time to lose.
My girls are the best thing I have ever done -- don't give that up for the worst thing I have ever done...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome to you, good for you for recognizing your problem and looking to do something about it. It won't always be easy, but it is definitely worth it. Lean on SR as much as you need.
Also, taking medication is not cheating. I also tried antabuse but stopped taking it for a number of reasons. More recently I took Campral to help with cravings. I do not feel any less of a "sobriety warrior" for having used medication as a help when I needed it. Please don't think that way about yourself either, you did a smart, brave thing to search for a solution.
I would advise seeing a doctor though- for a check up and to ask about the medication.
Also, taking medication is not cheating. I also tried antabuse but stopped taking it for a number of reasons. More recently I took Campral to help with cravings. I do not feel any less of a "sobriety warrior" for having used medication as a help when I needed it. Please don't think that way about yourself either, you did a smart, brave thing to search for a solution.
I would advise seeing a doctor though- for a check up and to ask about the medication.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 292
Hi penelope! I'm like you, don't drink every night but when I do drink too much and have done dreadful things when drunk. Glad to hear your husband is being supportive.
It's good to come up with a plan to deal with the cravings. There's some really good information in the sticky part of this section to deal with cravings. So far, I've had a large glass of lime and soda or a fruity tea whenever i think of wine. I'm new here, on day 8, but that seems to be working for me so far.
Wishing you all the best
It's good to come up with a plan to deal with the cravings. There's some really good information in the sticky part of this section to deal with cravings. So far, I've had a large glass of lime and soda or a fruity tea whenever i think of wine. I'm new here, on day 8, but that seems to be working for me so far.
Wishing you all the best
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi and welcome Penelope
I'd never heard of declinol, but apparently it's made from Kudzu.
I hope it works for you.
I know you'll find a lot of help and a lot more ideas here - glad you joined us
D
I'd never heard of declinol, but apparently it's made from Kudzu.
I hope it works for you.
I know you'll find a lot of help and a lot more ideas here - glad you joined us
D
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