new here
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1
new here
Hi. I'm new here. Feeling like an idiot showing up here at 43 years old. When do we officially grow up? I did AA years and years ago when I was in my 20s. Stopped going but was sober on my own for 6 or 7 years before going back to the bottle about 12 years ago. I'm frustrated with myself. I'm annoyed that I can't get a handle on it. I hate that my son has decided that my alcoholism justifies his drug use. Angry that my husband refuses to support my desire to be sober despite his otherwise caring and loving presence. Every time I say I want to quit, he makes excuses for me. I don't want to drink anymore. It's expensive and useless, and it adds to the chaos of my already chaotic life.
I should be working right now. I am so behind, but instead I am posting in this forum. I guess because getting better is important and getting better will help me keep up with my work better.
All I know is that I'm miserable, and I don't want to live like this anymore. I want control over my life.
It's funny. I didn't even want to post here, so I thought I would just say hi to get the notification thing off my screen, but I ended up writing all of this instead.
I should be working right now. I am so behind, but instead I am posting in this forum. I guess because getting better is important and getting better will help me keep up with my work better.
All I know is that I'm miserable, and I don't want to live like this anymore. I want control over my life.
It's funny. I didn't even want to post here, so I thought I would just say hi to get the notification thing off my screen, but I ended up writing all of this instead.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Nothing about what you wrote screams "idiot" to me. If anything, you should be proud of yourself for taking this step. I felt the same when I was ready to stop drinking- it wasn't worth it anymore and it was only causing more chaos in my life (a common theme I am sure.)
Please stick around and post here more often. I am new to the site and sober for 15 days. The support here is endless. If you want to stop, stop. You can do this!
Please stick around and post here more often. I am new to the site and sober for 15 days. The support here is endless. If you want to stop, stop. You can do this!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Welcome, and please know you are not alone.
It sounds like you are ready to make the changes in your life that you will need to make in order to recover. It's fine that your husband doesn't understand or support your recovery. Many of us are in the same situation and we manage. You're right to keep your recovery as a primary focus. We're here to support you.
It sounds like you are ready to make the changes in your life that you will need to make in order to recover. It's fine that your husband doesn't understand or support your recovery. Many of us are in the same situation and we manage. You're right to keep your recovery as a primary focus. We're here to support you.
I hope the support here can help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 166
Hey Rock, I wish you the best and want you to get better. I don't think you should feel stupid at all. You are being brave. It is hard and scary trying to make big changes to your life but don't let that make you feel less, its the brave person that walks into the new and unknown. Post whenever you can and let us help support you in whatever way works best. John
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, rockie; very glad you found us.
You have achieved before and you can do it again.
Stay close to us; we are here for you.
Have you considered joining an SR Class or stopping in to the 24 Hour Recovery thread each day?
I'll post a the links in a minute.
You have achieved before and you can do it again.
Stay close to us; we are here for you.
Have you considered joining an SR Class or stopping in to the 24 Hour Recovery thread each day?
I'll post a the links in a minute.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Here are the links, rockie:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-100-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-100-a.html
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome, you did a good thing by joining and posting- reaching out for help is a great step in the right direction. As Anna mentioned, although frustrating and hurtful at times, it is possible to get sober without the support of your husband. I have a similar situation in that my long-term partner just doesn't get it. He is a wonderful man, really loving and great in nearly every other way, but when it comes to understanding alcoholism he is pretty crap.
I've gone ahead anyway and I know he sees the difference and is happy for me even if he is not very vocal in his support.
Stick around and when you don't feel like posting just read.
I've gone ahead anyway and I know he sees the difference and is happy for me even if he is not very vocal in his support.
Stick around and when you don't feel like posting just read.
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