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Recovery Plan - "Not that bad"

Old 01-17-2016, 06:49 PM
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Recovery Plan - "Not that bad"

Sorry I am a posting machine today. I really feel like I need to talk. Forever I have been saying that as far as drinking goes, I'm not that bad. I am actually amazing at faking this great big life with two jobs and courses and fitness and friendships and family and so because I can hold all of this down I believe and those around me believe that I'm not that bad. When the cracks start to show I do a dry month and right back into. You've witnessed them and told me that I should do more than 1 month but of course I said I'm not that bad. I am really genius about hiding my drinking patterns. I do this so that I don't have to stop.
This will be one of my challenges moving forward, because I know that people in my life will also say that I wasn't that bad so not sure why I quit? No, I don't have a physical dependence on alcohol and unlike some I don't drink every day. However, I have had times in my life where I drink every day and I think about alcohol and drinking every single day, almost constantly. It is always in my head, always on the table. I also drink to the point of oblivion when it's available to me and I spend days in bed with hangovers. My puppy sits by my side when I am throwing up and worries so much. I also need to get drunk every 2-3 days or I lose all hope in life. I looked at those MM sites and even then I knew I was kidding myself because I've never been a moderate person, I have never been a moderate drinker.
My plan is to talk to my husband and let him know that even though I'm not that bad, whatever that means, that I want to quit. And then I will just avoid my friends, the drinking one for a little while. And then I will just tell people I don't really drink when they offer me things. That's all I got for now as far as a plan goes. And club soda which has always been my anti-drink.
Thanks for listening all, this forum is truly helpful.
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Old 01-17-2016, 06:54 PM
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The most important thing at the outset is, of course, to stop drinking. So I'm glad you're prepared to do that. But, to remain sober you will likely need to deal with the issues in your life that have brought you to this point. You can do this!
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Old 01-17-2016, 07:21 PM
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Bad is really a subjective thing Ohme.

I knew people who drank less than me who died...I know people who drank the same amount as I did or more and still don't identify themselves as alcoholics.

I know I'd be dead now if I hadn't stopped and thats really the bottom line.

D
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Old 01-17-2016, 07:42 PM
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I understand.

One thing to remember: Alcoholism is progressive. When I look back, I'd have been horrified at, say, 15 years before going sober to know how much my volume and intake would have increased. Or that I'd have reached the point where it was constantly in my head.

It's one of the many good reasons we have to stop here and now.

We're here to help. How 'bout joining your SR monthly class? Many of us have found them instrumental in our sobriety and recovery.

You can do this.
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Old 01-18-2016, 08:28 AM
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You can do this Ohme!!

Normal drinkers don't hide anything, or think about hiding their drinking, all the excuses in the world to drink are your addiction doing the talking, and normal drinkers don't need to continually justify, compare their drinking to others, or spend large amounts of time trying to convince themselves that they are normal drinkers!!
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Old 01-18-2016, 08:33 AM
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This is just my observation based on my own experience.

Back in the mid 1990'2 when I felt I wasn't that bad, after a few weeks I went back to drinking.

We have to do this for ourselves #1, we have to admit we are powerless over this drinking when we pick up, its part of the foundation.

I am a believer we need a plan to stay sober and go to any length to stay that way.

If you are stopping today because it's a problem, I can pretty much guarantee you if one drinks again, it gets worse and harder to stop,

Wishing you well
Andrew
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Old 01-18-2016, 09:17 AM
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
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Old 01-18-2016, 09:25 AM
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Ohme, you sound a lot like me. My dog too used to look at me disdainfully while I was drinking/hung over- it was like he knew I was doing something 'bad' lol.

I looked back and realised that every single bad thing that had happened to me had alcohol in it. That's a good enough reason to stop for me.
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Old 01-18-2016, 09:53 AM
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Your drinking IS that bad if you know you have a problem! Comparrison is unhelpful and that is why its taken me 15 years to get sober. I drank enough for it to be a problem, I continued to drink and the problem got worse and worse and worse. Abstinence is the ONLY cure!
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Old 01-18-2016, 10:05 AM
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[QUOTE= I don't have a physical dependence on alcohol and unlike some I don't drink every day. However, I have had times in my life where I drink every day and I think about alcohol and drinking every single day, almost constantly. It is always in my head, always on the table. I also drink to the point of oblivion when it's available to me and I spend days in bed with hangovers. My puppy sits by my side when I am throwing up and worries so much. I also need to get drunk every 2-3 days or I lose all hope in life.


This is exactly how I drink and Iam that BAD!!!
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Old 01-18-2016, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Ohme View Post
I will just tell people I don't really drink when they offer me things. That's all I got for now as far as a plan goes.
When it comes to drinking, you say you aren't that bad. But how you at quitting? Good?

Bolster your plan.
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