lovetolisten

I debated about writing this, but I am not going to progress unless I am honest and reach out for the help I need. I drank last night. I was feeling so good and positive that I was sure one wouldnt hurt...but you can guess what 1 turned into. My AV is so strong, I don't know how to combat it. It wasn't even a craving, I was just so sure of myself that I could control my drinking for a night. I do want to get sober - I want to be done with alcohol. Feeling powerless and stupid. Can anyone speak to prescription medication like Antabuse, and how difficult that is to obtain?

SillyHuman

I can speak to Antabuse. It was super easy to get, I asked my doctor for it. It was cheap. It really helped me a lot in stopping thinking about booze. Once drinking is truly not an option, I stopped thinking about it so much. It was very helpful.

least

I would imagine you'd have to talk to your doctor about Antabuse.

I've never been on it so don't know much about it, only that drinking on it will make you very sick.

biminiblue

I don't think any of us got it the first try, so don't beat yourself up too much.

Here, read this, from AA's Big Book. As a matter of fact, read the whole book! It's dead on.

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Anna

It's possible that Antabuse could be a tool for you, but ultimately you have to decide to stop drinking and to change your life. I didn't use Antabuse, but I think your dr could advise you about it.

lovetolisten

Thank you. ..I have read that but it is a wonderful reminder...I need to print it off and read it daily. I have no idea who you are and we could be 3000 miles away, but your kindness in reply means the world to me. I thank God for finding this site

Dee74

Hi lovetolisten

I really started getting somewhere when I committed to reaching out for help whenever I wanted to drink....

even the auto pilot moments have moments of clarity when you ask yourself what the hell am I doing...you can use those moments to long on here, or hit a meeting or read the BB or whatever.

my advice is stop fighting the AV.

I don't mean lie down and let it run riot

I mean - disengage from it...ignore it...let it rant and rave...the thing is...it's not that powerful at all...It talks a good game but without you to get the booze it wants...it's utterly impotent.

Like any toddler with a tantrum it'll tire itself out.
Log on here and do the right thing for you, not your AV.

Try it if you find yourself in trouble again

D

JohnQPublic

Dear love, I wish you the best. Recovery is hard but rewarding. Like others have said, there are substances like Antabuse and others that are helpful for some but for a long term sobriety you will have to likely make long term changes to your lifestyle. I have not seen a lot of success in my patients with chemical substances to enhance attempts at recovery because it often does not lend itself to making life changes that will turn your life into one of a non drinking lifestyle, it is often a symptom relief or as in Antabuse a negative reinforcement tool. However if you can find a MD with addictionology experience they may be able to help you find some kind of aid that is a good fit for you personally. No one substance will work for us all unfortunately and putting in grueling work in self change has no substitute. I wish you the best and please know we are here to listen and share with you any time. John

Nuudawn

I know from my own experience Dee's words are bang on. Where I have failed is when I had made the decision to drink ..in the darkness so to speak. It is a decision made...typically alone....in a "moment"....whether it's a moment where we are ignoring all the evidence of our lack of self control in perhaps years of wake...or simply an "I don't really give a rat's as*" kind of decision...an "eff it" moment if you will.

It's getting through the "moments" that can be so darn tough sometimes. And when we do, an hour or so later...we certainly don't look back and say "geez, I really wish I'd had that drink"....no...we don't. I know for myself, I typically shake my head at whatever thought was going through my head when I thought drinking was the best idea I had at that ...second.

You've given me much thought as to where I will turn in those moments.....

desertsong

I took Antabuse and it really helped as far as taking drinking off the table. I was terrified of what might happen if I even had a sip, so I never chanced it. One thing it really helped with was the "brain debates" about drinking. I knew I couldn't, so I didn't argue with myself. It was a lifesaver in that regard.

But it is just a tool. You can't stay on it forever, and what happens when you stop taking it? While I was on it, I took the time to go to IOP and make a lot of other changes in my life. I developed a plan and stuck to it. I was sober for over a year, but then went back to my old habits. I'm sober again now, but it took a long time to get back here. A plan only works if you stick with it.

So I guess what I'm saying is that Antabuse can be a great tool, but it can't be the only one. You gotta change your life too.