What stage are you?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 754
What stage are you?
Alcoholism is progressive.
Cancer is progressive.
5 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. DCIS stage I. Very, very early detection. They cut it out and I went to radiation every morning for 8 weeks. Radiation treatment was admitedly a nuisance, but no more painful than laying in a tanning booth. Nevertheless, I was labeled with breast cancer. Friends wanted to do something, so they lined up and took turns bringing dinner to our home. I felt silly. I was fine. I believe to this day that they should come up with another name for the disease if it is caught so early. My experience was nothing heroic like survivors of stage 4 cancer.
About 3 years ago, I logged onto SR and said I would quit drinking. If I compare it to the progression of cancer, I would say I was very early stage 1. My dad died of alcoholism...stage 4 if that is the max you can get. I know it is progressive, so I thought I should quit while the quitting is good. I’ve been on and off of SR ever since.
Hmm...I think today I am stage 2. Still undetectable to most outsiders, but present. Countrygirl started a thread, “what normal drinkers don’t do”. I can relate to many of the posts, but not all. That just proves my point. Those people at stage 4 did things I never did, but that does not remove the fact that I can relate to many, many others.
So the point is: if the doctor told you you had stage I cancer, would you have it removed? Or would you hang on to it to see if you could remove it at just the right time before it killed you?
I am cancer free. I have been cured. But if I am successful at this, I will always be stage 2 in my drinking. (Note...I still can’t call it alcoholism. This is kinda what Sunflowerlife alluded to in the post, “How did you know?”) The cure is to not drink and stop the progression. If I decide to drink again next year, I will still be at stage 2 and progress from there. I hope that I always choose, “NO THANK YOU.”
Cancer is progressive.
5 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. DCIS stage I. Very, very early detection. They cut it out and I went to radiation every morning for 8 weeks. Radiation treatment was admitedly a nuisance, but no more painful than laying in a tanning booth. Nevertheless, I was labeled with breast cancer. Friends wanted to do something, so they lined up and took turns bringing dinner to our home. I felt silly. I was fine. I believe to this day that they should come up with another name for the disease if it is caught so early. My experience was nothing heroic like survivors of stage 4 cancer.
About 3 years ago, I logged onto SR and said I would quit drinking. If I compare it to the progression of cancer, I would say I was very early stage 1. My dad died of alcoholism...stage 4 if that is the max you can get. I know it is progressive, so I thought I should quit while the quitting is good. I’ve been on and off of SR ever since.
Hmm...I think today I am stage 2. Still undetectable to most outsiders, but present. Countrygirl started a thread, “what normal drinkers don’t do”. I can relate to many of the posts, but not all. That just proves my point. Those people at stage 4 did things I never did, but that does not remove the fact that I can relate to many, many others.
So the point is: if the doctor told you you had stage I cancer, would you have it removed? Or would you hang on to it to see if you could remove it at just the right time before it killed you?
I am cancer free. I have been cured. But if I am successful at this, I will always be stage 2 in my drinking. (Note...I still can’t call it alcoholism. This is kinda what Sunflowerlife alluded to in the post, “How did you know?”) The cure is to not drink and stop the progression. If I decide to drink again next year, I will still be at stage 2 and progress from there. I hope that I always choose, “NO THANK YOU.”
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
I think it's best to take action before it gets any worse, either an illness or drinking. I let myself get pretty bad before I got sober. But I didn't lose anything major, except my self respect and the respect of my kids... tho that's pretty major to lose. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
I'm glad you're a cancer survivor and sober benice 
This was not my experience, unfortunately. When I had a period of sobriety before (through drink related injury) I expected that I'd pick up at the same point I was before.
What happened instead was the worst most prolonged self destructive drinking of my entire drinking 'career'.
My alcoholism progressed - even tho I wasn't drinking.
Even now 15 years later, that's a scary thought.
No longer scary for me personally, because I love my life now and I'm never going back to that first drink...but scary in that relentlessness and scary in that I see the implicit assumption in many posts that we might still have a measure of control over our drinking.
D
If I decide to drink again next year, I will still be at stage 2 and progress from there.
What happened instead was the worst most prolonged self destructive drinking of my entire drinking 'career'.
My alcoholism progressed - even tho I wasn't drinking.
Even now 15 years later, that's a scary thought.
No longer scary for me personally, because I love my life now and I'm never going back to that first drink...but scary in that relentlessness and scary in that I see the implicit assumption in many posts that we might still have a measure of control over our drinking.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by Dee74 
My alcoholism progressed - even tho I wasn't drinking.
D
D
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: baltimore, maryland
Posts: 463
Hi Benice, I am a cancer survivor as well. My alcoholism is at a stage 4, and will be the rest of my life.... even if I don't drink again. But if I do decide to poison myself again, it most likely will be stage dead for me!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I was just lookimg at the different stages online, I think I was at stage 2 as well.
No DUI's or serious consequences, didn't drink everyday.
But I blacked out everytime I drank, I started drinking alone because I'd just get into trouble if I was out, I felt my health, work and school performance deteriorating, and I got a serious ankle injury from a fall during a blackout, and could NEVER make it past 30 days without a drink, usually 2 weeks was the longest.
I usually found it extremely, extremely difficult to stop at one or two, though it was possible at times.
Thanks for mentioning that Least and Dee, I also didn't know that about how quickly it spirals out of control after sober time .
No DUI's or serious consequences, didn't drink everyday.
But I blacked out everytime I drank, I started drinking alone because I'd just get into trouble if I was out, I felt my health, work and school performance deteriorating, and I got a serious ankle injury from a fall during a blackout, and could NEVER make it past 30 days without a drink, usually 2 weeks was the longest.
I usually found it extremely, extremely difficult to stop at one or two, though it was possible at times.
Thanks for mentioning that Least and Dee, I also didn't know that about how quickly it spirals out of control after sober time .
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Originally Posted by benice
Woah. See...this is why SR is so important. I really thought it only grew when you fed it. I admit I have much to learn, and I certainly don't want to spread misinformation! Dee, thank you for being such a steadfast and kind mentor.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by Saskia
Not only does it grow, my experience is that it became harder to stop after each new episode. My longest of several long sober spells was 13 years. Stopping this last time was so difficult for me that I never want to go through that again!
This is my first real sober attempt so this is good to know.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by benice
Countrygirl started a thread, “what normal drinkers don’t do”. I can relate to many of the posts, but not all. That just proves my point. Those people at stage 4 did things I never did, but that does not remove the fact that I can relate to many, many others.
I do understand for when I first time entered AA many years ago
I also heard some stories told that I couldn't relate to.
Well, as I kept returning to run with the liquid devil
I also did some of those same things that I had only heard about before.
Now when I hear about some strange thing that I didn't do
I say to myself -- not yet
for I know that if I return to drinking anything is possible.
MB
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Congrats on surviving cancer. I survived Ewing's Sarcoma.
I'm in Phase 4. I spent two decades in Phases 2 and 3, and then events in my personal life catapulted me into Phase 4, where I've been for 2 1/2 years.
One of the symptoms of my alcoholism is drinking, but I'm coming to see that there are other symptoms, too. So like Dee said, you can quit drinking and remain an alcoholic.
Have you ever heard of "kindling?" Basically, every time you quit and suffer through the withdrawals is worse than the time before. So, I hope you don't have to quit repeatedly.
I'm in Phase 4. I spent two decades in Phases 2 and 3, and then events in my personal life catapulted me into Phase 4, where I've been for 2 1/2 years.
One of the symptoms of my alcoholism is drinking, but I'm coming to see that there are other symptoms, too. So like Dee said, you can quit drinking and remain an alcoholic.
Have you ever heard of "kindling?" Basically, every time you quit and suffer through the withdrawals is worse than the time before. So, I hope you don't have to quit repeatedly.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I got to stage 3 ( maybe 4?) because I had serious liver damage. I had alcoholic hepatitis which is inflammation of the liver. I drank one more year after the diagnosis. Okay. I think my inability to stop after the diagnosis bumped me up to a 4.
I have not had a drink in 19 months and recently found out that the alcoholic hepatitis has completely reversed itself. My liver is now healthy. I got lucky. I was also young at 32 when I stopped.
Either way, abstinence saved my life.
I am now healthy.
I am now stage 0. I don't drink alcohol.
I have not had a drink in 19 months and recently found out that the alcoholic hepatitis has completely reversed itself. My liver is now healthy. I got lucky. I was also young at 32 when I stopped.
Either way, abstinence saved my life.
I am now healthy.
I am now stage 0. I don't drink alcohol.
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