2015 worst year of my life

Old 01-03-2016, 03:37 AM
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2015 worst year of my life

Not been on here in a long time as I thought I was ok.
Lost my uncle at the end of July and started to drink again as the pain was unreal. I only and ever only drank on an evening but it was always in excess.
I have now lost my mum 8 days ago and I am lost. I stopped drinking 3 days ago as its hit me that it's not solving anything and making me feel like garbage.

I'm praying to get through the funeral this week. I've told my husband we will stay to chat and thank people and then we will leave as I don't want to risk drinking.
I am here and will be on here as I found this the best support I have ever had.

Thank you for reading and I hope and wish we all have a better 2016. Xxxxx
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Old 01-03-2016, 03:41 AM
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I'm sorry for your losses ZG but I'm glad you're back

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Old 01-03-2016, 04:06 AM
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bona fido dog-lover
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I too am sorry for the loss of your mother. Good for you for getting sober.
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:09 AM
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I too am very sorry for your loss , glad you have come to the understanding alcohol will not make it better, we are here for you. Andrew
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:23 AM
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Marchia in Aeternum
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ZG, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you know where to get support and that drinking is not the answer.
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:31 AM
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Sorry bout your mom! Keep in touch... We're always here...
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:40 AM
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My condolences on both of your losses.

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Old 01-03-2016, 05:17 AM
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I'm sorry about your loss but glad your here with us
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Old 01-03-2016, 05:25 AM
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I'm very sorry for your loss, ZG.
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Old 01-03-2016, 05:30 AM
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My condolences.
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Old 01-03-2016, 05:35 AM
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I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I really hope 2016 brings you a lot of happiness. John
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Old 01-03-2016, 05:35 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Good job on getting sober and coming back. Stay close to SR.
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Old 01-03-2016, 06:19 AM
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So sorry, zgirl. My heart is with you
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Old 01-03-2016, 06:49 AM
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Just went out and bought myself a big 8pack of Diet Coke. Put it in the fridge as the can weirdly makes me feel like it's something to drink.
I'm struggling today but think it's just how everything is at the minute, doesn't help with the terrible weather.
Going to watch a film with my kids soon.
Thankful I have them and you guys xxx
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Old 01-03-2016, 07:03 AM
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A Day at a Time
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I am so sorry for your loss and I will send prayers out to you and all those that loved her

I can only speak to my own experience with death, loss and sobriety. When my daughter died of cancer 1.5 years ago I knew I had 2 choices. Choice A) was to make a horrible situation worse by drinking or choice B) was to make it through the grief sober.

I chose sobriety. Was it easy? Nope. Was it pretty much horrible? Yup but I made it or I have made it up to today and things are looking pretty good that I wont drink today.

My first action was to mentally take alcohol off the table as an option. This put me in the mind set of, "If I can't drink I better figure out how deal with the pain because I sure don't want to feel this way any longer than I have to." Here are some of the things that helped me.
  • Sharing my grief here on SR. If you are interested there numerous posts about my journey through this nightmare
  • Prayer, asking God to relieve the pain for a little while
  • Knowing that the way I was feeling was not permanent. That eventually I would start to feel better
  • Going to AA meetings 3-4 times a week and sharing with friends that I was struggling
  • Talking with people who had been through grief and finding out how they dealt with it
  • Getting professional grief counseling
  • Taking the grief a day at a time. My sponsor would tell me. If you didnt drink today you have been a success
  • Educating myself on grief. I did this mostly online with different grief sites
  • Letting people help
  • Giving myself permission to feel horribly depressed and sad
  • Talking to spiritual advisors. One of the most profound things they said was God wants us to be happy. Of course you will always miss the loved one but their death can not define your life. Rejoice in this day the lord has made and be happy

I am not sure any of this will help but all any of us can do is share our experience strength an hope. Again my thoughts are with you.
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Old 01-03-2016, 07:08 AM
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Welcome back Zombiegirl, so sorry to hear of your loss!!
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Old 01-03-2016, 07:12 AM
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You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
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I'm praying peace and comfort for you during this acute period of grief. So sorry for these losses.

Sometimes, life deals us terribly tough seasons. But often, it is truly the darkest before the dawn. I recently witnessed a friend go through a terrible year of loss, followed by a new commitment to his health and wellbeing.

Here's wishing you a 2016 full of blessings, joy, and sobriety!
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Old 01-03-2016, 07:17 AM
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Very sorry for your loss. That must be incredibly tough.
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