itsme123

its been one alcohol free week for me, but im starting to think about what im trying to do-i dont know if i need complete abstinence or moderation. i have a christmas gig in a few days and im really stressed about seeing the people i went to highschool with. i find myself thinking "oh ill just take a shot before hand to loosen up.". But, writing that down really makes me realize how dysfunctionaly i deal with stress. being in a highly dysfunctional family is also stressful. I'ts all so confusing.

saw1978

I just wanted to say congrats on one week down. I hope that you stick with your sobriety. I don't have a ton of experience with alcoholism but my mom turned to it as her tool for dealing with the stress of an addict husband and son and it took her to a very dark place. I think when we use any substance to ease the stress of a life event or to cope with the uncertain, that we need to consider abstaining all together. My mother ended up in an accident at home, caused from heavy intoxication and she spent years after that on the sober only track. She will occasionally have a glass of wine or shot with the family on a holiday, but that's it. She never returned to casual drinking. I think that having a sponsor in this situation would be a great thing for you and that groups and literature that support your struggle are a must. Knowledge is power. Being sober and in control as your about to see people from your past sounds like the way to go. Drinking to ease that stress could lead to loss of control, and that may only leave you with regrets and the longing for a "do over". You are not alone! Support is all around us we just have to reach out. I will keep you and your sobriety in my prayers!! Good luck on your gig and God Bless!! Enjoy the Holiday! & Be safe!

S.

OnMyWay7

Hi itsme - great job on a week. For me there is no moderation. Every time I "tried" to moderate in a few months I'd be back at it full time - and each time it got worse. Why do you need it in your life anyway? It shouldn't be a tool to deal with stress right??

Anna

Good job on your first sober week.

There is a world of difference between abstinence and moderation. I hope you decide on abstinence.

ZeldaFan

Congratulations on one week! I know for me personally, the word moderation isn't even in my vocabulary. One drink and it's all over. I learned that awhile ago so I took it completely out of the equation for myself. It's abstinence or nothing for me. I choose abstinence.

ScottFromWI

It can certainly be confusing, and congrats on a week sober. It is going to take some time for your body and mind to adjust, a week is great but not nearly long enough for your body to even physically adjust to not drinking anymore.

Did you have success in moderating your drinking in the past? I'm guessing you chose this week of sobriety for a reason, right? The thing about alcoholism is that you can never "go back" to moderation. You'll always return to alcoholic drinking, and usually it gets worse.

The key is finding new ways to live your life and deal with things without trying to hide in a bottle of alcohol. Are you following any type of plan or program this week or just "not drinking"?

Soberwolf

Abstinence saves my life every day the fact your considering moderation (AV) is a big red flag for me is alcohol really that important to you can you not be 'yourself' without it those are other big red flags

Congrats on a week & keep on crushing your AV

FormerWineGirl

There is a saying that rings very true for me and many others;
"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation"

FreeOwl

Good job on your sobriety! I can relate to how you're feeling.

After many years of trying to 'figure it out' - I finally did.... sobriety is the way for me.

Zebra1275

Moderation didn't work for me.

I could do it for a short time, but eventually I ended up abusing alcohol again.

Abstinence works better for me. I suspect it will for you too.

JD

For me, drinking in moderation just seems silly. That's like 1 or 2 drinks once in awhile. Who wants to do that? If that's all, why drink at all? Abstinence is so much easier.

MIRecovery

It is not confusing for me. I don't drink because I can't be a normal drinker

least

I tried moderating my drinking too, and failed miserably at it. Besides, I didn't like stopping at two. I wanted to get numb.

I hope you choose sobriety. It takes a bit of effort but is so rewarding.

Dee74

as gently as possible, I suggest if your drinking has bought you here, and you've found it necessary to actively work (hard) at not drinking, then moderation is not an viable option for you, itsme?

D

Gottalife

To be able to drink moderately is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. It took me more than one attempt to learn that I cannot moderate. See, if I cant moderate, that means I have the phenomenon of craving, which means I am an alcoholic and I can't drink safely at all. And I didn't want that

ubntubnt

Hi Itsme. I think if you are confused between abstinence or moderation I suggest you take a few hours to read the site and search a few threads on the topic. That should clear up any confusion.

As much as we would all love to be able to drink in moderation it simply is not possible. That's the nature of addiction. That conversation you are having with yourself regarding whether or not you can drink in moderation, that's your addiction talking to you too.