sorrysoul

I do appreciate it Dee! The more information the better I think

Soberwolf

Hi Sorrysoul I 5000% back up Dee74's advice

I had a immediate family member who was addicted to heroin

The recovery started with methadone which was then changed to subitex but because of occasional relapses on crack this family member decided to go rehab which was one of the most beautiful decisions that changed thier life

It was for 6 months & this family member now has over 1 year clean & sober

I'm not saying go to rehab but I'm so happy this family member did

Wishing you the best in your recovery

Friend Of Bill

You are not unique you are not alone I lost everything I had seven different times always kept trying to control it it'll be different this time I realized it really wasn't the drugs or the alcohol or the sex it was my thinking that was the problem I'm sure there's more than just a Wednesday meeting changing people places and things is sometimes a good suggestion although we always bring ourselves with us that was my problem there's a possibility you may be an addict we are men and women who have lost the ability to control are using we realize that no one ever recovers control all of us felt at times we were regaining control but its some intervals usually brief we're inevitably followed by less control we are in the grip of a progressive illness over any considerable. time we get worse never better there was always the curious mental phenomenon that paralleled with our sound reasoning that inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drug our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check the insane idea won out and next day we would ask ourselves in all sincerity how could this have happened again some circumstances we go out deliberately feeling ourselves justified by nervousness anger worry depression but our justification for a spree was always insufficient in the light of what always happened... I learned that I had a physical allergy and a mental obsession and once I started to use I developed the phenomenon of craving when I got that craving I couldn't stop and most of time never even thought about the consequences I didn't care ...what was necessary was a change in my thinking the way I react to life I found that in a spiritual awakening a psychic change by going to meetings talking with people who have been there in finding someone to guide me through the steps so I could recreate my life just putting down the drugs my life was still toxic I still treated everyone like crap my behavior didn't change I just wasn't using I stopped when I got in trouble... I couldn't stay stopped and by going to the fellowship and for me I found Alcoholics Anonymous helped me more than the other one because the book Alcoholics Anonymous is the only book with the instructions for the 12 steps even though I'm an addict I recovered in AA