Shelbygirl328

It seems so crazy but for some reason I feel really scared when I think about quitting drinking forever. I should be scared to continue.

Wish I knew what this fear was, I should be happy that I have made a choice to try to stop something that is harming me.
All I feel is fear and I feel overwhelmed when I think about the future.
I see posts from people who have achieved sober time and they all say it is wonderful! I need to focus on that instead of thinking I am losing something. I will be gaining something right??

badger257

I'm in the same boat. But I keep reading those same stories that you do about recovery and a better life, and that is what keeps me coming back here to this community. Nothing but positive encouragement!!! And a desire to achieve what others have.

Weatherman77

Hi Shelby, believe me, I felt that fear too. When I read about how it gets better, or long-term success stories I didn't think it applied to me. All I knew was drinking and I couldn't imagine the following week, let alone "forever."

You just have to have faith that all these people can't be wrong. And take it from me - now 13 months sober - that it truly does get easier and that the doubts, fears, whatever, are just weapons of your addiction. And yes, you will be gaining freedom, self-respect, health - you name it.

Keep strong!

BellJar7

The Power Behind ?One Day at a Time?

I read this earlier today, and it specifically mentions what you said about feeling fearful of giving it up forever. I'm scared too. I'm scared thinking about how I'm going to cope with these cravings every single day. Are they always there?? This will drive me mad. I don't know how I'll cope with my stress, my anger, my depression, my anxiety, etc. I'm scared to face it all. I'm sad thinking about holidays without wine. I know it's stupid to feel this way, but I wrestle with the "forever" part.

But just as this blog post says, taking it one day at a time really takes some of the pressures of the future off of us. We aren't standing at a dinner party being offered wine right now, so let's not worry about it right now. We aren't at Thanksgiving right now when our relatives are enjoying their cocktails, so let's not worry about our response just yet. Let's focus on right now, this hour. Right now I'm gonna stay dry.

I pray the cravings get better, but for tonight, I'm just trying to stay focused on my goal and not on my desires.

JD

A lot of us got scared. Your AV voice wants you to be scared. But your rational voice knows better.

LexieCat

You only have to stay sober one day at a time. HOWEVER, it was important for my own sobriety to let go of any notion that I could someday drink again. That small reservation--that "maybe"--can keep you obsessing about alcohol. Your brain gets like that annoying bratty kid in the back seat jumping up and down, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" "Am I OK to start drinking again? I've been sober X amount of time, I'm sure I can handle it now."

Really, I've been sober seven years and never once have I felt like I was missing out on anything great by not being able to drink. Sure, I sometimes have to endure listening to people go on and on about some great drink they are having with dinner, but it's basically irrelevant to me. There are lots of things in this world that would be nice to do, but I don't have the money or the physical ability to do them. Oh, WELL. That's pretty much the way I feel about not being able to drink. Oh, WELL.

KiKi0615

It scares me too. My sponsor said not to try to quit forever, just for today...24 hours.

PurpleKnight

Fear of the unknown is a real thing, I definitely felt it, how would I cope with life, with stress? afraid to feel real emotions again, feel things in the here and now, that was a scary concept.

What about social occasions? how would I celebrate birthdays, Xmas, New Years, what about St Patricks Day, go to ice hockey games and not have pre drinks, game drinks, post drinks, what would I tell people?

At times the world was caving in but the more I sat thinking about things I was clocking up more and more Sober hours, one step closer to bedtime and another Sober day, and that's the task at hand in the beginning.

Stay Sober today, then tomorrow you'll get another today to be Sober, keep it simple and forever will take care of itself!!

You can do this!!

tomsteve

the fear for me was fear of the unknown. i started drinking about 13 years old and had absolutely no idea what life sober would be like. i had no idea how to live.
something that kept me going was fear of what life was going to to be like if i kept drinking.
and courage.

Fly N Buy

I had a tremendous amount of fear in general - everything from bad things might happen to loved ones, losing my health, my financial security to opening the mail~! Fears of all types, shapes and sizes real and imagined. I drank to wash these away, until that no longer worked.

When I quit, my fear was not of never drinking again but fear I would drink again. I am fortunate that my memory is sufficient today to remember that pain and suffering I doled out to myself and others.

I may not always have that memory though - but, the program I follow gives me tools to deal with that prospect as well......

Yes, small bites help - some have trouble with 24 hrs and choose 1 - 8 or `12 hours chunks. At first it may simply 30 minutes.

The point is it's your journey..........we find a way to deal with our issues, but together sharing our experience, strength and hope.

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” Mark Twain

sugarbear1

Fear ruled my life and alcohol was the magic elixir that helped me to survive. Without alcohol, how would I survive? Of course I was scared, too.

One day at a time, I made it through that fear and kept walking forward ever since....

You can do this, too!

esinger

How much you gain is up to you. The real question is how much are you willing to lose by continuing drinking?

newpage119

When I started, I read lots of posts from long-timers and they all seemed like they were enjoying life and doing well.....I believed there had to be something to that......and pushed through.....I wanted to see if it was true that life was much better sober!

It IS true....the cravings get less and less and life gets better and better. It is tough at first, but you CAN do it.....
You are worth it, and deserve a better life. BELIEVE in yourself, and you will make it happen!

Shelbygirl328

Thank you all for your posts, it is encouraging!

Berrybean

I was scared too. Petrified in fact. Most people are, and that's why AA say, One Day at a Time. I know it feels like the end of everything, but you know, this is the best new beginning ever.

Change can be scary, especially if we're losing something that we have relied upon to alter our perceptions of ourselves and our realities to make things easier to cope with. For so long we have believed that Alcohol makes everything better - and your Addictive Voice will be whispering that lie to you now as well. Just stay strong. Remember it IS a lie. Maybe write down somewhere (in code if it's a messy list you don't want others to read) all the reasons you want to stop, and how alcohol has made your life unmanageable. There's a good thread at the moment about things alcohol took - that might be helpful for getting you started.

simplex

It's hard to connect to people with sober time I feel like. Even if it's a month, when you're just starting out that might as well be 10 years.

I was very scared and that kept me in the spiral for multiple years. But like others have said it's the fear of the unknown. I think it's also a big concern of ours what other people will think or how we will react socially. For me that was just being up front about my situation. Knowing drinking will kill me comes first.

Just take it one step at a time, wishing you well!

CurlyGirl1978

I think it's kinda like a feeling of defeat or loss, like how a kid gets their Halloween candy taken away and they wanted to keep eating it and eating it, but if they had been left alone to eat to their hearts content they'd get sick, teeth might rot out, or maybe get childhood diabetes, in my opinion.

Dee74

I think all of us were scared shelbygirl.

I thought my life would change, it would be a grey existence, and I would have this immense & neverending sense of loss...and to be fair I felt that for a while - when it's all you know, change is hard.

But if you stick it out you will find it's really not an end - it's a beginning

I could never have envisaged the life I have now...never in a million years because I had no reference points.

Trust me - noone would stay sober if they felt they lost out on the deal - it will be OK

D

adelina123

Yes, totally relate, I dare not think too far down the line .... Christmas, holidays, etc sometimes my mind wanders and I have to reign it back in cos I feel that fear too!!
We've just got to trust what those sober people on here are saying, have faith xx

Raeven

I got really intimidated by one day at a time and now I think of the next hour. I'm still early so I take it in little bites. I'm also scared of not enjoying a good glass of wine or cocktail at a party, But I'm also afraid of not being able to stop after one, of drinking until I fall up the stairs to bed and wake with bruises that I don't know how I got, or the puffy face, and the shakiness trying to drive, even after 10 hours. I'm afraid that the next time I drink a fifth of whiskey will be the last time because I won't wake up. I'm afraid that if I don't stop now I won't be able to later.
Yes, it is scary. But living is important. Hang in there...