Fly N Buy

Today would have started last night as liquor stores aren't open Sundays and beer isn't sold till noon - planning makes perfect. The late night Saturday anxiety would kick in - do I have enough booze for the remainder if tonight and all day tomorrow??? Maybe I'll go get some more just in case

Then I'd consume the just in case "extra" supply before Sunday arrived. Insidious Insanity.

venuscat

Wow, what an awesome post Lovesunrises! Thank you. ♥

I would have spent half the night sweating, panicking and crying, begging God to help me, and making yet another promise to never do this again. Every joint in my body would be sore, and I wouldn't be able to see very well. Every smell would make my stomach lurch. The coffee would taste awful. And I would just sit here, praying that I could make it to the shower and maybe feel a little better.

And inevitably, rinse, repeat....because by 3pm all would be forgotten and I would be on my way to buy more wine.

What a life.

least

I would be either too drunk to do anything or too sick from drinking to do anything. I'd waste another day and hate myself every minute of it.

SDH73

Would be at the tail end of a 3 day binge trying to find a balance between drinking enough to take the edge off of my killer hangover and not getting stinking drunk - after all, I have to work tomorrow and I don't want to be hungover! End up stupid drunk anyway because "taking it easy" for me would mean probably 10-15 drinks throughout the day. So I'm laying on the couch drifting in and out of consciousness. The tv is on, but I can't comprehend any of what I see on it.

Make a conscious effort to drink plenty of water but the couple of glasses that I manage to put in me don't even come close to putting a dent in the dehydration that I've built up over the last 48 hours.

And then, of course, I wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

CurlyGirl1978

On another given Sunday I'd said I'd wait until noon to start but didn't sleep the night before so I said what the hey? I'll start now...7:15 am...I brew a cup of coffee to sit on the counter for show but hidden in a minute maid bottle is a nice stiff vodka and just a splash of what's left of the minute maid, you know, for color. I cook scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sausage and cringe at the thought of when hubby finally wakes up and asks if I will join him for breakfast. I think "Pancakes? With that s..ss..sweeet...mm.mmaple stuff? Should I throw up now or after the first nibble? People come by for CurlyGirl entertainment as they know there will be but by the time the real people that love me and want me better come by I've got the ringer off, blinds closed, and on the couch because I'v ran out of drink at 2:30pm and just know I'm gonna crash anytime soon. Hubby lets my sis in when he arrives back home and she sits at the edge of the couch but I'm no good to talk to...I'm no good that day. I pass back out, wake up at 1 am and take a Benadryl so I can sleep normal people hours but my body says "Yeah right! You're not sleeping tonight. You're gonna have to get up every 30 minutes, we've got diarrhea until sunrise!"

Yukyuk

BOOM. Exactly.

Hevyn

Yes....all of the above. In the end, when Monday morning came I was far too shaky to make it through the day. That's when my 24/7 drinking began.

Thanks for this, Lovesunrises. Most helpful.

bigsombrero

Bingo! I'd finish off whatever I had in the fridge as soon as I woke up, and then would be off to the grocery store. Make sure to arrive right at 11am so the liquor aisle was open. I'd get a big plastic bottle of vodka, some mixers, and some food just to throw the clerk off. Come home, drink and watch NFL and probably throw a few hundred dollars gambling on the games online. Pass out at 2pm, wake up as the sun was setting, and get right back to drinking. Zonk out at 10pm and wake up for work feeling anxious and depressed. What a terrible cycle that was!

airwick

Feeling sorry for myself.

Nonsensical

+1

One of my favorite looking-back-with-rolling-eyes things to think about are the merciless ass-chewings I would give myself most mornings in the car on the way to work. I would turn the mirror so I could see myself and then just give the guy in the mirror the most scathing, foul-mouthed, rebukes and warnings. Raving mad man stuff.

SoberLife90

I would be passed out drunk by now because my drinking would have started many hours ago. Who knows maybe I would have woken up by now and would be drinking even more. Drinking all alone. What a terrible life i was living.

Elseware

Good question. I think I might be dead

venuscat

^^^ In all honesty, I would be too.

DaisyBee

I would have woken up from a very restless and sweat-soaked hellish night, hungover and parched wondering how and when I went to sleep. Did I have sex with hubby last night? Next I would start to panic wondering if I did or said something terrible. After guzzling water and popping some Advil and vitamin B I would have a diet coke because coffee will never work. After making myself get up and cook breakfast to appear normal I'd watch the clock and start pouring the wine at about 11am putting away a bottle before lunch. Rinse and repeat. There would be no exercise or productive tasks done today.

Thank God that's in the past.

Hawk07

Thanks for this thread. I think it helps to keep it fresh on my mind what happens when I drink. My last 'sunday funday' was sometime last October. After a binge starting first thing after work and lasting through whenever I passed out on Saturday night I'd wake up at the butt crack of dawn on Sunday with a wave of anxiety and pounding heart. I'd hold out an arm to see if the shakes had set in. Yep. Great. Then I'd start the search for any left overs amongst all the bottles. If there was nothing I'd have to grin and bear it because there was no way I could drive or handle being in public. The shakes and anxiety were too bad. If there was some alcohol left well that meant I'd be even more screwed for work on Monday.

I'd then proceed to lay in the fetal position on the couch ALL day. I'd manage to get up to go to the bathroom but that was an ordeal. I'd feel like I was vibrating as I walked across the house and about to fall over any second. Finally around 10pm I might be able to take a shower....sitting down.. Then maybe have my first food of the day..Usually a banana was all I could handle. For years I'd spend every Sunday like that thinking this might be the day I die.

KiKi0615

I would be laying in bed hating myself and thinking about just giving up. Depressed & hopeless....wondering if this hell will ever end. :-(

leviathan

At 11pm. I would probably be in bed after playing my Sunday game: drink enough, but not too much. This would serve as my transition between the crazy drinking of Fri and Sat, and my work personality as superman/yes man. I would often wake up at 3 am to ride waves of anxiety that made my eyes water and watch the clock inch towards alarm time. Turn it off before it rings and retch in the shower. Take ativan in time so it will bring me closer to human during commute.

If the script was already gone I might have to call in.

While this was all absolutely horrible, I chose to repeat it! I remember deciding on my Sunday dose (4-6 drinks usually) and then negotiating at 7,8 and nine. WTF!!?

Lionhearted1

If I was drinking the night before I would wake up with a bolt of shock open my eyes and the reality of the night before would slowly start hitting me, where did I go,what did I say, did I do so something terrible!!
I would spend the rest of the day in bed full of guilt Shame and remorse wishing my life was different!! Sometimes I would be so hungover I would have panic attacks whilst trying to eat!
What a waste of life!!!

Lovesunrises

It's Monday morning. I would have woken up full of anxiety and shaking after a weekend of numbing myself with many bottles of wine. Since I would have to be at work soon, I would probably decide whether I could tough it out until after work, or go to the grocery store and get a bottle of wine to "take the edge off". After all, I wouldn't want to go to work all shaky. Once at work, I would try to keep to myself so nobody would notice what condition I was in. I would get on my laptop and pretend I'm working even though my brain would be so foggy I wouldn't be able to concentrate. I am looking at my watch every few minutes hoping it will be lunchtime soon not because I am hungry, but because I didn't decide to go to the store this morning to get something to take the edge off and my anxiety is soaring. Finally, it is close to noon and I leave the office, stop at the store and get a bottle of wine. I go home and drink a couple of glasses. I stay home for a couple of hours instead of the normal hour I am usually gone so I can make sure I am ok to drive back to the office. Stupid me...thinking I am not still legally drunk, I get in the car and go back to work. Jeez!!! Who was I fooling? I don't get any of my work done for the rest of the afternoon and leave the office for the day without accomplishing anything. On my way home, I stop for more wine because the bottle I bought at lunchtime is only half full and certainly wont keep me sufficiently buzzed for the rest of the evening. Sad way to live!!

FearlessChase

I'll tell you what I wouldn't have been able to do...be productive at work. I would probably do the bare minimum so I could get home as soon as possible.