The grief journey
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
The grief journey
I'm learning this whole grief thing is a journey not a destination. I don't know if this will help anyone but you may wish to file this away for the day you lose someone close.
When my daughter died 15 months ago my first stage was numbness and disbelief. I could not belive she was gone. Vivacious and alive 28 year Olds don't die of cancer they just dont. I could shake the feeling that this was just a bad dream that I would wake up from.
Stage 2 was accepting she was gone and the spiral into the pit of despair and depression. Thoughts of drinking and suicide occurred on a daily basis. Just living was so very very hard. If it had not been for God, professional help, SR, AA, friends and family I wouldn't have made it.
Stage 3 was black depression mixed with a few not horrible days. Days where life seemed worth living.
Stage 4 is where I'm at today. Life is worth living again but there is profound sadness 24X7. I wakeup sad I go to bed sad. A piece of my soul is gone and it is never coming back.
The journey goes on but one thing has been constant. I knew that there was no problem alcohol wouldn't make worse
When my daughter died 15 months ago my first stage was numbness and disbelief. I could not belive she was gone. Vivacious and alive 28 year Olds don't die of cancer they just dont. I could shake the feeling that this was just a bad dream that I would wake up from.
Stage 2 was accepting she was gone and the spiral into the pit of despair and depression. Thoughts of drinking and suicide occurred on a daily basis. Just living was so very very hard. If it had not been for God, professional help, SR, AA, friends and family I wouldn't have made it.
Stage 3 was black depression mixed with a few not horrible days. Days where life seemed worth living.
Stage 4 is where I'm at today. Life is worth living again but there is profound sadness 24X7. I wakeup sad I go to bed sad. A piece of my soul is gone and it is never coming back.
The journey goes on but one thing has been constant. I knew that there was no problem alcohol wouldn't make worse
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I'm just over 3 weeks away from remembering my mothers passing from cancer it will be the 6th year she is gone & all I can say without saying too much is it does get easier when someone told me that I either didn't believe them or thought you don't know this pain, I was so hurt & angry I couldn't let it go it almost destroyed me
I'm really sorry you lost your daughter Mir and I have seen you talking about meeting ppl who have been through similar experiences & I sincerely hope that helps bring a bit of peace to your heart
Thinking of you if you ever want to talk rant whatever send a msg I have all the time in the world for you
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I wanted to thank you for sharing with us your journey through that terrible loss and grief and healing slowly but surely.
You are proof that no matter what awful thing life throws at us (and what could be worst than the loss of your child?) we can stay the path and we don't have to pick up no matter what.
Thank you for your gift to us and being a member of this forum MIR
You are proof that no matter what awful thing life throws at us (and what could be worst than the loss of your child?) we can stay the path and we don't have to pick up no matter what.
Thank you for your gift to us and being a member of this forum MIR
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
Thank you for sharing. I lost one of my best friends in 2009 and I think about him a lot. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to lose a child.
I can say that as time has went on it has gotten easier for me, I hope it will for you too. I think its amazing that you have found sobriety during this rough time in your life. It shows strength, courage, and will power to do what you have done and that is something we all need here.
I can say that as time has went on it has gotten easier for me, I hope it will for you too. I think its amazing that you have found sobriety during this rough time in your life. It shows strength, courage, and will power to do what you have done and that is something we all need here.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
The loss of my dad taught me all of those stages, though I really think there is a stage 5, we eventually get to the point of that bleak acceptance, the passing of someone is soo permanent, it's heart breaking.
Stage 5 though is when that person continues to influence people, your daughter's memory is alive here on SR, and keeping people Sober, if anyone was thinking about drinking tonight then this post should have convinced someone somewhere that it wasn't worth it.
Thanks for sharing MIR, you are a stronger man than I!!
Stage 5 though is when that person continues to influence people, your daughter's memory is alive here on SR, and keeping people Sober, if anyone was thinking about drinking tonight then this post should have convinced someone somewhere that it wasn't worth it.
Thanks for sharing MIR, you are a stronger man than I!!
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