Thank you for sharing. I lost one of my best friends in 2009 and I think about him a lot. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to lose a child.
I can say that as time has went on it has gotten easier for me, I hope it will for you too. I think its amazing that you have found sobriety during this rough time in your life. It shows strength, courage, and will power to do what you have done and that is something we all need here.