Now on my third "day 3" in 2 weeks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by LBrain 
well if you really analyze the film groundhog day, I think I am living that film myself - sober.
every day I wake up sober again, and every day I learn something new and try to improve myself... the metaphor from that is acceptance. The character at first was frustrated that every day was the same. Then he finally accepted it and made the best of it. Instead of fighting it, he took advantage of it. That's what we are able to do when we start accepting that living sober is the way to go.
Make living sober and taking advantage of it daily your real groundhog day.
every day I wake up sober again, and every day I learn something new and try to improve myself... the metaphor from that is acceptance. The character at first was frustrated that every day was the same. Then he finally accepted it and made the best of it. Instead of fighting it, he took advantage of it. That's what we are able to do when we start accepting that living sober is the way to go.
Make living sober and taking advantage of it daily your real groundhog day.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Hi Fatbat,
The hardest thing for me was getting through the first 7-10 days. Anything less than that felt so easy to throw in the towel, it was just the same old hamster wheel of avoiding, trying to moderate, then drinking excessively over and over again.
For me (female, job, kids etc) the only thing that made it work this time was to go and see my doctor. No residential rehab but a week booked off work and 5 days of visits to check my vitals while I stopped drinking. Was it necessary, maybe not. But it was serious enough that I engaged with it and committed to it.
Now on day 46, coming up for 7 weeks sober. If you told me 3 months ago I would stop drinking for 7 weeks I would not have believed you. I drank wine, I loved wine, I also drank wine in bed, watching the ipad, listening to music, reminising, I loved it.
This week I have been struggling with the idea of starting to drink again, can I moderate? Can I be sensible? Should I try? The trouble is if I look at my history and my drinking patterns all I have ever done is drink to excess and felt out of control...
These last 6 weeks I have felt grounded, calm, in control, I have enjoyed myself doing some things sober - painting, cinema, reading... I have also felt a bit bored at times and have had a lot of early nights. Saying that, I am sleeping like a baby every night and I wake up feeling amazing.
If you want to try and moderate for a couple of weeks, try it but be honest with yourself about how it's going and how it makes you feel. Set yourself a deadline and if you come to the conclusion that you can't, then set something else in progress. Go and see your doctor. Come back here, talk to us.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
The hardest thing for me was getting through the first 7-10 days. Anything less than that felt so easy to throw in the towel, it was just the same old hamster wheel of avoiding, trying to moderate, then drinking excessively over and over again.
For me (female, job, kids etc) the only thing that made it work this time was to go and see my doctor. No residential rehab but a week booked off work and 5 days of visits to check my vitals while I stopped drinking. Was it necessary, maybe not. But it was serious enough that I engaged with it and committed to it.
Now on day 46, coming up for 7 weeks sober. If you told me 3 months ago I would stop drinking for 7 weeks I would not have believed you. I drank wine, I loved wine, I also drank wine in bed, watching the ipad, listening to music, reminising, I loved it.
This week I have been struggling with the idea of starting to drink again, can I moderate? Can I be sensible? Should I try? The trouble is if I look at my history and my drinking patterns all I have ever done is drink to excess and felt out of control...
These last 6 weeks I have felt grounded, calm, in control, I have enjoyed myself doing some things sober - painting, cinema, reading... I have also felt a bit bored at times and have had a lot of early nights. Saying that, I am sleeping like a baby every night and I wake up feeling amazing.
If you want to try and moderate for a couple of weeks, try it but be honest with yourself about how it's going and how it makes you feel. Set yourself a deadline and if you come to the conclusion that you can't, then set something else in progress. Go and see your doctor. Come back here, talk to us.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by foreverfuzzy
Hi Fatbat,
The hardest thing for me was getting through the first 7-10 days. Anything less than that felt so easy to throw in the towel, it was just the same old hamster wheel of avoiding, trying to moderate, then drinking excessively over and over again.
For me (female, job, kids etc) the only thing that made it work this time was to go and see my doctor. No residential rehab but a week booked off work and 5 days of visits to check my vitals while I stopped drinking. Was it necessary, maybe not. But it was serious enough that I engaged with it and committed to it.
Now on day 46, coming up for 7 weeks sober. If you told me 3 months ago I would stop drinking for 7 weeks I would not have believed you. I drank wine, I loved wine, I also drank wine in bed, watching the ipad, listening to music, reminising, I loved it.
This week I have been struggling with the idea of starting to drink again, can I moderate? Can I be sensible? Should I try? The trouble is if I look at my history and my drinking patterns all I have ever done is drink to excess and felt out of control...
These last 6 weeks I have felt grounded, calm, in control, I have enjoyed myself doing some things sober - painting, cinema, reading... I have also felt a bit bored at times and have had a lot of early nights. Saying that, I am sleeping like a baby every night and I wake up feeling amazing.
If you want to try and moderate for a couple of weeks, try it but be honest with yourself about how it's going and how it makes you feel. Set yourself a deadline and if you come to the conclusion that you can't, then set something else in progress. Go and see your doctor. Come back here, talk to us.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
The hardest thing for me was getting through the first 7-10 days. Anything less than that felt so easy to throw in the towel, it was just the same old hamster wheel of avoiding, trying to moderate, then drinking excessively over and over again.
For me (female, job, kids etc) the only thing that made it work this time was to go and see my doctor. No residential rehab but a week booked off work and 5 days of visits to check my vitals while I stopped drinking. Was it necessary, maybe not. But it was serious enough that I engaged with it and committed to it.
Now on day 46, coming up for 7 weeks sober. If you told me 3 months ago I would stop drinking for 7 weeks I would not have believed you. I drank wine, I loved wine, I also drank wine in bed, watching the ipad, listening to music, reminising, I loved it.
This week I have been struggling with the idea of starting to drink again, can I moderate? Can I be sensible? Should I try? The trouble is if I look at my history and my drinking patterns all I have ever done is drink to excess and felt out of control...
These last 6 weeks I have felt grounded, calm, in control, I have enjoyed myself doing some things sober - painting, cinema, reading... I have also felt a bit bored at times and have had a lot of early nights. Saying that, I am sleeping like a baby every night and I wake up feeling amazing.
If you want to try and moderate for a couple of weeks, try it but be honest with yourself about how it's going and how it makes you feel. Set yourself a deadline and if you come to the conclusion that you can't, then set something else in progress. Go and see your doctor. Come back here, talk to us.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
This latest attempt (4th in 3 many weeks) failed last night on day 6.
I have seen my Dr and my Psy. Both very supportive. I have all the medical and psychological support I need. I just need to find the willpower and put in the hard work. My Dr has prescribed Baclofene. Until now I have not wanted to use it. I already take medication for depression and do not like the idea of adding another medication to the mix.
However in light of these failures I think I am going to give Baclofene a try.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
I don't know what that medication is but I was given librium for the first 7 days and it just made me very calm. I took that ontop of anti depressants, they OK'd it so I just went with whatever they offered!
I know exactly what you mean about the evening routine, mine was opening the first bottle at 6pm also, and then opening the 2nd bottle later in the evening. To be me it was a reward, a treat, I'd earned it.
To begin with I had to literally sit on my hands to stop myself and some evenings just go to bed straight after the kids!
Even now, sometimes I feel like I am depriving myself of something wonderful but I have to accept that it was not helping me in so many ways;
1. I was blacking out most nights
2. I was embarrasing myself infront of people
3. I was embarrassing myself on social media and deleting the next day
4. It was costing almost £100 gbp a week in wine
5. I was panicking about running out
6. I was hiding the amount I was drinking and smuggling it places
7. I was getting the shakes in the morning and heads from hell
8. I was forgetting whole conversations with my other half
9. I was not performing well at work
10. I was feeling strung out and much older than I am
11. I was not sleeping well, waking up feeling like a car crash
12. I was spilling wine when drunk on the floor, bed, etc...
13. I was driving over the limit the next morning
I'm sure there are more but all of the above tend to make me realise that I was not a "normal" person relaxing with a glass of wine. I was drinking to get drunk and drinking to stay drunk. I was a drunk.
I know exactly what you mean about the evening routine, mine was opening the first bottle at 6pm also, and then opening the 2nd bottle later in the evening. To be me it was a reward, a treat, I'd earned it.
To begin with I had to literally sit on my hands to stop myself and some evenings just go to bed straight after the kids!
Even now, sometimes I feel like I am depriving myself of something wonderful but I have to accept that it was not helping me in so many ways;
1. I was blacking out most nights
2. I was embarrasing myself infront of people
3. I was embarrassing myself on social media and deleting the next day
4. It was costing almost £100 gbp a week in wine
5. I was panicking about running out
6. I was hiding the amount I was drinking and smuggling it places
7. I was getting the shakes in the morning and heads from hell
8. I was forgetting whole conversations with my other half
9. I was not performing well at work
10. I was feeling strung out and much older than I am
11. I was not sleeping well, waking up feeling like a car crash
12. I was spilling wine when drunk on the floor, bed, etc...
13. I was driving over the limit the next morning
I'm sure there are more but all of the above tend to make me realise that I was not a "normal" person relaxing with a glass of wine. I was drinking to get drunk and drinking to stay drunk. I was a drunk.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
I did not begin to experience any recovery until I shifted sobriety from something I would do in my spare time to the category of the most important job I had to do in my life. (I would soon learn it also fell into the category of the hardest thing I've ever done in my life).
Big dramatic thing? Yeah, but alcohol addiction was the biggest, most serious and most destructive problem I had in my life. And, whatever I come up against in the future, I think it will pale in the face of what I experienced when I was an active drinker.
Nothing really happened until I began to view recovery as a job.
And, nothing really started happening until I broke out of isolation and began to use a program. Here's what I did if it is any help:
I started with a doctor visit to get my liver levels. Then my doctor referred me to an outpatient addiction clinic, where I went once a week to meet an addictions therapist. I took antabuse. Then I started AA, got a sponsor and joined a reading group organized by AA friends.
Did I have overnight success? No, I was a relapser and I was on the sober/drunk merry go round for a couple of years.
But I kept at it and I kept noticing how the sober times gave me things I had been missing in my life for a long time: stability, lack of fear, balance, self-confidence, joy, maturity. I finally decided I wanted those things in my life every single day.
AA is indeed faith-based but not religion based. It is a distinction very frequently missed. But I won't go into that discussion: I would recommend you visit the 12 step section of this website for more information.
Big dramatic thing? Yeah, but alcohol addiction was the biggest, most serious and most destructive problem I had in my life. And, whatever I come up against in the future, I think it will pale in the face of what I experienced when I was an active drinker.
Nothing really happened until I began to view recovery as a job.
And, nothing really started happening until I broke out of isolation and began to use a program. Here's what I did if it is any help:
I started with a doctor visit to get my liver levels. Then my doctor referred me to an outpatient addiction clinic, where I went once a week to meet an addictions therapist. I took antabuse. Then I started AA, got a sponsor and joined a reading group organized by AA friends.
Did I have overnight success? No, I was a relapser and I was on the sober/drunk merry go round for a couple of years.
But I kept at it and I kept noticing how the sober times gave me things I had been missing in my life for a long time: stability, lack of fear, balance, self-confidence, joy, maturity. I finally decided I wanted those things in my life every single day.
AA is indeed faith-based but not religion based. It is a distinction very frequently missed. But I won't go into that discussion: I would recommend you visit the 12 step section of this website for more information.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by foreverfuzzy
I don't know what that medication is but I was given librium for the first 7 days and it just made me very calm. I took that ontop of anti depressants, they OK'd it so I just went with whatever they offered!
I know exactly what you mean about the evening routine, mine was opening the first bottle at 6pm also, and then opening the 2nd bottle later in the evening. To be me it was a reward, a treat, I'd earned it.
To begin with I had to literally sit on my hands to stop myself and some evenings just go to bed straight after the kids!
Even now, sometimes I feel like I am depriving myself of something wonderful but I have to accept that it was not helping me in so many ways;
1. I was blacking out most nights
2. I was embarrasing myself infront of people
3. I was embarrassing myself on social media and deleting the next day
4. It was costing almost £100 gbp a week in wine
5. I was panicking about running out
6. I was hiding the amount I was drinking and smuggling it places
7. I was getting the shakes in the morning and heads from hell
8. I was forgetting whole conversations with my other half
9. I was not performing well at work
10. I was feeling strung out and much older than I am
11. I was not sleeping well, waking up feeling like a car crash
12. I was spilling wine when drunk on the floor, bed, etc...
13. I was driving over the limit the next morning
I'm sure there are more but all of the above tend to make me realise that I was not a "normal" person relaxing with a glass of wine. I was drinking to get drunk and drinking to stay drunk. I was a drunk.
I know exactly what you mean about the evening routine, mine was opening the first bottle at 6pm also, and then opening the 2nd bottle later in the evening. To be me it was a reward, a treat, I'd earned it.
To begin with I had to literally sit on my hands to stop myself and some evenings just go to bed straight after the kids!
Even now, sometimes I feel like I am depriving myself of something wonderful but I have to accept that it was not helping me in so many ways;
1. I was blacking out most nights
2. I was embarrasing myself infront of people
3. I was embarrassing myself on social media and deleting the next day
4. It was costing almost £100 gbp a week in wine
5. I was panicking about running out
6. I was hiding the amount I was drinking and smuggling it places
7. I was getting the shakes in the morning and heads from hell
8. I was forgetting whole conversations with my other half
9. I was not performing well at work
10. I was feeling strung out and much older than I am
11. I was not sleeping well, waking up feeling like a car crash
12. I was spilling wine when drunk on the floor, bed, etc...
13. I was driving over the limit the next morning
I'm sure there are more but all of the above tend to make me realise that I was not a "normal" person relaxing with a glass of wine. I was drinking to get drunk and drinking to stay drunk. I was a drunk.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 387
Originally Posted by Fabat50
Seen the film Groundhog Day?
I am now on my third "day 3" in 2 weeks. Not going well. I can't seem to get past day 4. And even worse on day 3 or 4 I don't just slip up, I drink excessively for a night, even more than before, major hangover then have to start the whole damn process again.
I am now on my third "day 3" in 2 weeks. Not going well. I can't seem to get past day 4. And even worse on day 3 or 4 I don't just slip up, I drink excessively for a night, even more than before, major hangover then have to start the whole damn process again.
Having the ability to start over again so quickly is a wonderful ability. There are plenty of things that you have learned in your life. I want you to name one where you learned it on the first go with no mistakes. If you want to beat yourself up over each lapse, make sure you celebrate with equal passion each day sober.
I don't know what your action plan is, but you might consider throwing in a little (more) self-compassion.
KP
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Originally Posted by keeppushing
In Groundhog Day and in your 2 weeks the same things happen, you start again. Three day 3s in 2 weeks isn't a bad start, it is an excellent start and way better than me. Having the ability to start over again so quickly is a wonderful ability. There are plenty of things that you have learned in your life. I want you to name one where you learned it on the first go with no mistakes. If you want to beat yourself up over each lapse, make sure you celebrate with equal passion each day sober. I don't know what your action plan is, but you might consider throwing in a little (more) self-compassion. KP
Having the ability to start over again so quickly is a wonderful ability. There are plenty of things that you have learned in your life. I want you to name one where you learned it on the first go with no mistakes. If you want to beat yourself up over each lapse, make sure you celebrate with equal passion each day sober. I don't know what your action plan is, but you might consider throwing in a little (more) self-compassion. KP3 day 3's is still 9 days sober!
Checking back in here more and more often helps too, I actually moved my Facebook icon into a folder on my iPad and moved this onto the front screen, a simple thing but it was a shift in priority. It took me several months of thinking about stopping / planning to stop / to stopping. Look at the cycle of change, what you're doing now is still important, call it making progress, not a string of failures. A string of failures would be drinking to blackout every night and never thinking beyond that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
You guys are all so supportive and kind. I really do appreciate all of your advice and anecdotes. So my story so far is 3 x3 days sober and 1x6 days sober in Under 3 weeks. And I have been beating myself up for my constant failure but as you point out that is still 15 out of 20 days sober!! And yes I am so determined to kick this that after every slip up I get myself immediately back on track. And yes this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I tell myself that I had tough things to deal with in my life... divorce, losing best friend to suicide, nursing my very sick premature baby to health... I could go on and on. Each time I dug deep .. often without any support, and got through. I can get through this too. With your support and that of my amazing medical team here.
Last edited by Fabat50; 10-24-2015 at 03:57 AM. Reason: spelling
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
