courage2

Well there's your trouble.

The problem with your belief is that you don't know what you can't afford.

Can you afford to be driving drunk and kill someone?

Can you afford to fall down a staircase and get a spinal cord injury that results in paralysis?

Can you afford to destroy the trust or affection that remains between you and your parents?

No one knows they've gone too far until they're too far gone to get back.

I hope you make a decision to get help for your drinking problem now, before it steals anything else away from your life.

Deckard

It almost seems that you are taking a kind of counterintuitive comfort in the idea of the rock bottom. As in, there is a bottom somewhere that will be the stopping point once you reach it...

The thing that scared me was when I realized there was no bottom. The descent kept on going into a fathomless darkness.

120degrees0ut

Ive had a whole bad mess of rock bottoms. Ive realized that alcohol is the cause of many problems ive had, or still have. This is a great thread, and i liked all your replies here Igor94. I think what i could add to your thread would be many pages long. Im just grateful that while drunk i didnt harm anyone driving..or do something else drunk to land me in prison or seriously harmed myself. Cuz i have mos def injured myself drunk many times, but i healed up. The list is Endless, like i said. I think it just takes every alcoholic their own time to realize alcohol is THE ENEMY. I have also realized that alcohol snatched up my future. I always have to start from Ground Zero. And it keeps happening Over and Over and Over. Ive realized Alcohol is the Main Culprit. I dont want any more rock bottoms. Why would i? What my goal is to keep staying sober is...I want to ultimately Hate alcohol and everything the crap has done to me. And once that happens I wont slip and drink again. Its taking time, but i keep thinking, and its working so far. There are a million things to do besides drink, so i stay busy. I do crave it tho, and i know its difficult Igor! Good Luck to U!!

helpimalive

Let me tell you something about the "rock bottom" that is the loss of your career, move in with family type of rock bottom. Because I know a lot about this kind of rock bottom.

It's super easy to just fall right through it and keep on falling. I mean, you've lost your career, your self respect, everything you ever worked for, and now you deal with the daily shame of living with family. Those all sound like reasons for an alcoholic to drink to me.

I know this because I just lived it and I'm still living it :/ Lost the career in January, moved in with family in February, kept drinking for most of this year. Much worse, too, since I had more time on my hands. I only just quit in September. It's been an awful, pointless year.

Do not wait for this particular rock bottom. Who says it will change you? Stop now.

PurpleKnight

You don't need to let the train crash if you already know it's going to come off the rails.

I could see the train tracks up ahead and decided to get off a few stops back!!

FreeOwl

by deciding that, based on the pain and anguish I'd already felt and the opportunity to experience a more joyful alternative.... I did NOT want to find out where "rock bottom" was.

Nonsensical

+1

I made a decision based on logic, reasoning, thinking. The desire for alcohol is an emotion - I feel like drinking. I don't think drinking is a good idea. I know it's a horrible idea.

I still feel like drinking. The urge comes. I just know better than to act upon it.

Overriding a desire with thinking happens every day. I feel like running idiot drivers off the road. I feel like making inappropriate suggestions to the hot chick at work. I feel like launching my stapler at my boss's head. I don't DO any of those things.

Denying myself a drink only feels worse than denying myself those other things because I have an alcoholic living in my head. He is obsessed with alcohol. Understanding that makes it easier for me to deal with.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

InTheEnd

I think I had plenty of times that I should've been a "rock bottom" but even those episodes didn't stop me.

When I quit, I didn't "go down in flames" or something spectacular had happened.....its was a looooooooooong flicker of nothing. No major things happened, no minor things, nothing. Ten years of working, then drinking, rinse and repeat....isolating myself as much as I could to the point that sometimes I thought I had Agoraphobia! I was miserable day in and day out, alone day in and out....drunk every evening. I was a empty soul, a shell of the person I used to be, just a body taking up space and feeling not worthy of being a part of life.

Woke up Aug 10th, 2015 and was done.

Btw - Good news! No Agoraphobia! Getting sober made me realize I had a different disease.......It is Alcoholism.

KeyofC

Everybody's rock bottom is different. I certainly don't fit the stereotype that society puts on who an alcoholic is or what they look like. I didn't loose my job, family, house, etc. If I had continued down the path I was on at that time might it of happened? Yes, probably, eventually. But my life was a complete mess, all of it. My relationships were in the toilet. I didn't have anything to offer to anyone, not even myself. Thank God my family loved me enough to tell me like it is and it was enough for me to realize that now is the time. Now, not when all those things happened.
I realize it took me years to get to the point I am at now, so in recovery I have to be realistic that things won't just magically get better because I stopped drinking. A lot of times we set ourselves up to fail by thinking everything will be solved because we quit drinking. The desire to stay that way has to remain and the will to do the work required for every day to be a successful recovery day has to remain as well.
The thought of loosing my husband and my children is enough for me to not drink. They are my world. I couldn't imagine life without them and it's amazing how different I am now and how my relationships with them have improved immensely. I'm only 88 days so I can't wait to see what's down the road...I like this feeling and I like me and that in itself is a WIN in my book!

StellaPolaris

My rock bottom came when all I cared about fit into a beer can. When tomorrow didn’t exist except as a time to put everything off to. When friends and family were reduced to hindrances for drinking. I was alone, my life was devoid of any meaning, I was angry, suicidal and tired. I was also broke, and maybe just weeks away from losing my home. I never hit that rock bottom, but I could see it clearly.

When I joined SR and AA I met a lot of people who had really hit rock bottom. Lost everything. I can learn from their experiences, there is no reason why I wouldn’t end up the same if I continue drinking.

I’m just grateful I didn’t lose everything, it makes recovery a lot easier when you don’t have to fight more than this one battle, you know..?

Cascabel

I never really hit any bottom. But, I'm 78 years old and in generally pretty good health in spite of heavy drinking. But, I was starting to feel the residue of the previous day's drinking (sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?) and realized that at my age every day is precious. I want to spend however many days I have remaining alert and active, not in an alcohol induced haze. That thinking was enough to make me quit. You are never too young to have the same ideas.

KidsEverywhere

A lot of similar stories. I am new to recovery, but for me:
1) I have a lot to lose and I felt like I was "flirting with disaster- family, job, legal issues, health, etc.
2) Realizing as long as I'm in the hole digging (drinking), the hole gets deeper and harder to get out of.
3) Realizing I don't have control over it- I quit drinking for 15 months about 6 years ago, within 2 weeks of: "I can handle a beer or two" I was back to drinking every day for no reason.
4) taking a step back and just realizing it is crazy: drinking alone, hiding it, going way out of my way to plan for drinking and making up excuses for needing to run to the store and it is really to get alcohol, etc.
5) I pictured chronicling my drinking habits for a month- what I did to make sure I had alcohol, hiding bottles in The garage, being detached from my family, feeling like crap 5 out of 7 mornings a week and imagined if I handed that journal to a non drinking person whose opinion I valued, what would they think. They would think it is crazy, ridiculous, reckless, and should stop.

jkirk

I think there are too many forms of "rock bottom". For me, I found myself thinking about drinking far too much. I miss an occasional drink, but I never had just one or two. I wasn't working out, thus my inner voice now says, athlete or alcohol. Somehow this has worked for 17 months. It is still a battle, as our society revolves on having a bar at everything!

alphaomega

I hit various "bottoms" during my 25 year drinking career .

But I kept digging.

Bottoms aren't necessarily "bottoms" unless you stop breathing. You can ALWAYS go lower.

asdf72

Hi Igor, I agree with so many of these posts. I've only been active on here a few days but have spent many hours reading about other peoples experiences and hardships but also the joy that can come with sobriety. Our rock bottoms are vastly different and some are far worse than others, with death as the worst. But as soon as drinking becomes a problem there are only more rock bottoms to come. I think for me the hope that i'll get out before any more rock bottoms is found in reading about the disease and focusing on the members here who say life is so much better sober. I have to change my mindset that fun can only be had alongside alcohol. I have to believe that sober activities and hobbies are just as fun and more worthwhile (more than knowing because i already know this as i never drink around my children and have the most fun in life with them but believing wholeheartedly a couple of glasses of wine wont make a dinner with friends more fun, that will take more time). I have to experience them and that will take time because i've had 20 years full of alcohol fuelled experiences so it will take time to balance that out. Like you i can go some time between drinking binges but i am trying to put in the work on myself now, thoroughly and passionately, to turn my mindset around so that when temptation comes knocking i can say i dont need to drink.

asdf72

Another thought, it is interesting to see how many members like me have a join date some time before we start posting. We join because we think we may have a problem, we continue to drink and a few rock bottoms later we are still here. It doesnt go away on its own.

OpenTuning

I quit without a recent rock bottom. For me the key was realising I didn't want to drink any more. By that I don't mean I really wanted a drink, but felt that I shouldn't or couldn't have one (the rock bottom approach). But that I realised I didn't really want a drink. I'd been drinking out of habit for years. I drank because that's what I did. It simply never occurred to me I might not be enjoying it as much as I thought I was.

I'm simplifying things a bit. There were lots of different things that led me to that point. Reading the AVRT crash course to figure out where the cravings were coming from really helped. Getting seriously ill for a while so I couldn't drink helped break the cycle (don't suggest that as an approach if you can help it). And after I stopped I read the Allen Carr Easy Way book about controlling drinking which really helped as well.

Overall, if I was relying on willpower alone I think I'd struggle. If I was desperate for a drink but constantly denying myself one, that'd be tough. I've had a few AV moments recently which weren't fun to deal with and caught me by surprise. But despite those few moments, overall I genuinely don't want a drink. And my biggest regret is I didn't stop sooner. Not that I stopped before getting to experience my own Rock Bottom.