How did you stop drinking without hitting rock bottom?
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Join Date: Apr 2015
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How did you stop drinking without hitting rock bottom?
For those of you who did, how did you stop drinking without hitting some sort of rock bottom. All my significant stretches of sobriety have been due to some sort of "rock bottom" (health, family, or employment consequences, etc). I've never mustered the will power to stay stopped (for more than a couple days) without some major negative event. When those rock bottoms do happen I go many weeks or a couple months without drinking with hardly any cravings at all.
But I can't afford any more rock bottoms. So, for people who stopped before some major negative consequence, I'm wondering how did you get the willpower to stop. Was it a change in routine, a spiritual awakening, or something else?
But I can't afford any more rock bottoms. So, for people who stopped before some major negative consequence, I'm wondering how did you get the willpower to stop. Was it a change in routine, a spiritual awakening, or something else?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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The only real true "rock bottom" from drinking is death. And by then it's too late. Everything in between is just a stop along the way really. It sound harsh but it's true, people die every day from drinking related issues. They also lose their jobs, families, money, respect and all sorts of other things.
Quitting has to be something you WANT. And quite literally anyone can quit anytime they choose if they decide they want it enough. Being around others in the recovery community, either online or in person, can really help. Seeing others succeed and seeing how much better life can be a over also helps.
Quitting has to be something you WANT. And quite literally anyone can quit anytime they choose if they decide they want it enough. Being around others in the recovery community, either online or in person, can really help. Seeing others succeed and seeing how much better life can be a over also helps.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Just hearing other people's stories and their rock bottoms was a bit too close for comfort for me. I knew it was a matter of time before I started experiencing those issues.
I think about these stories and know it could be me if I continued or picked up again.
I think about these stories and know it could be me if I continued or picked up again.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
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Scott pretty much nailed it. We've all faced different consequences, some much worse than others. I think it's "enough" when you say it's enough. Death is the true bottom. Anyone can stop at anytime if that is what they want.
I watched my alcoholic mother kill herself quite literally. I also had plenty of negative consequences of my own ... a DUI ten years ago, a lost job around the same time, waking up in an ER once due to blood sugar issues from drinking after a prolonged period of abstinence, and a new husband looking me in the eyes pleading with me to stop before it was too late. Those were my worst consequences.
But just as damaging were the "lesser" consequences of so many days, and years, of lost vitality and loss of self-esteem, loss of integrity, authenticity. Loss of creative productivity, which will be a thorn in my side forever.
It came down to a hope, and a faith that I could indeed stop, followed by action. One day I just stopped. And I did many things to stay stopped and to prevent myself from relapsing. It was absolutely a change of routine, and a resulting change of lifestyle. And yes, there has been a spiritual element, which is quite surprising to me, as I never considered myself very spiritual.
I watched my alcoholic mother kill herself quite literally. I also had plenty of negative consequences of my own ... a DUI ten years ago, a lost job around the same time, waking up in an ER once due to blood sugar issues from drinking after a prolonged period of abstinence, and a new husband looking me in the eyes pleading with me to stop before it was too late. Those were my worst consequences.
But just as damaging were the "lesser" consequences of so many days, and years, of lost vitality and loss of self-esteem, loss of integrity, authenticity. Loss of creative productivity, which will be a thorn in my side forever.
It came down to a hope, and a faith that I could indeed stop, followed by action. One day I just stopped. And I did many things to stay stopped and to prevent myself from relapsing. It was absolutely a change of routine, and a resulting change of lifestyle. And yes, there has been a spiritual element, which is quite surprising to me, as I never considered myself very spiritual.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
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Originally Posted by Igor94 
But I can't afford any more rock bottoms.
With 20 months sober, I still fear the consequences of drinking more than I fear the sometimes scary realities of staying sober.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
My life hurt. I had "closet drank" myself into an existence that made me start fearing what things would be like if I my external world -- job, relationships with my family and friends, homeownership, etc. -- started to mirror the internal one.
I decided I didn't want to find out. I've never regretted going sober. My life belongs to me now, rather than a bottle.
I decided I didn't want to find out. I've never regretted going sober. My life belongs to me now, rather than a bottle.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,544
I believe you have to hit the "lowest of lows" . That's just my opinion. If you can't afford to hit rock-bottom AGAIN ,let this be your FINAL AT TEMPT.....the cycle has to end and you are the only one that has control.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
The only real true "rock bottom" from drinking is death. And by then it's too late. Everything in between is just a stop along the way really. It sound harsh but it's true, people die every day from drinking related issues. They also lose their jobs, families, money, respect and all sorts of other things.
Quitting has to be something you WANT. And quite literally anyone can quit anytime they choose if they decide they want it enough. Being around others in the recovery community, either online or in person, can really help. Seeing others succeed and seeing how much better life can be a over also helps.
Quitting has to be something you WANT. And quite literally anyone can quit anytime they choose if they decide they want it enough. Being around others in the recovery community, either online or in person, can really help. Seeing others succeed and seeing how much better life can be a over also helps.
I find myself questioning the notion of “wanting to quit” in order to quit though. I’ve “wanted” to quit for seven years or so. I wanted to quit when I could barely keep food or water down without throwing up, and had barely enough energy to get off my couch for weeks on end.
I guess there’s a difference between consciously wanting something and actually feeling that want enough to overcome the urges. So perhaps my question should be “how do you make yourself feel that desire to stop drinking so much that it overpowers the urges you experience?”
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 12
Easy...
I was seeing double and hit the rock that wasn't really there. Sorry. I'm one of those guys that sees an opportunity for a witty wise crack and can't help himself.
But not only can I not help myself from making wise cracks. I can't help myself give up the bottle.
Hello everyone. DriedShad here, I realized on 10/12/15 that I needed to stop drinking. Nothing "really bad" has happened in my life because of it. I've never lost a job or family member. I have lost my temper which landed me in jail overnight a couple of times. It has just made my life a little rocky at times. More than a little rocky, my drinking is like sitting at the lake being swarmed by mosquitoes. I've spent the past 8 years of my life swatting at them instead of enjoying the scenery. I've missed a few big fish because I was to busy swatting. I don't want to go into details, but on Sunday I had a blackout that lasted about four hours. During this blackout I could have really hurt someone and only through God's grace I didn't. On Monday I was told all about the "fun" I had on Sunday and I hardly remember leaving my house, let alone making it back.
So... today is my third day sober. Probably the longest I've been sober in the past 8 years.
I have fallen into a major depression since then. I am having to deal with everything I have been hiding from with alcohol. I realized I need help. I was planning on going to my first AA meeting tonight but I had to work late and wasn't able to. Being an IT guy I thought the next best thing would be a recovery forum. I got home and created a new email address to preserve my anonymity and made up a new online name to resemble the "dry" path I want to follow. Did a search and landed here. I wasn't planning on making a post but the question about not hitting rock bottom was hard to resist.
Anyhow. I'm DriedShad, I'll browse the threads and I am sure I will learn a lot. I have never attempted recovery before. Thank you everyone for sharing.
But not only can I not help myself from making wise cracks. I can't help myself give up the bottle.
Hello everyone. DriedShad here, I realized on 10/12/15 that I needed to stop drinking. Nothing "really bad" has happened in my life because of it. I've never lost a job or family member. I have lost my temper which landed me in jail overnight a couple of times. It has just made my life a little rocky at times. More than a little rocky, my drinking is like sitting at the lake being swarmed by mosquitoes. I've spent the past 8 years of my life swatting at them instead of enjoying the scenery. I've missed a few big fish because I was to busy swatting. I don't want to go into details, but on Sunday I had a blackout that lasted about four hours. During this blackout I could have really hurt someone and only through God's grace I didn't. On Monday I was told all about the "fun" I had on Sunday and I hardly remember leaving my house, let alone making it back.
So... today is my third day sober. Probably the longest I've been sober in the past 8 years.
I have fallen into a major depression since then. I am having to deal with everything I have been hiding from with alcohol. I realized I need help. I was planning on going to my first AA meeting tonight but I had to work late and wasn't able to. Being an IT guy I thought the next best thing would be a recovery forum. I got home and created a new email address to preserve my anonymity and made up a new online name to resemble the "dry" path I want to follow. Did a search and landed here. I wasn't planning on making a post but the question about not hitting rock bottom was hard to resist.
Anyhow. I'm DriedShad, I'll browse the threads and I am sure I will learn a lot. I have never attempted recovery before. Thank you everyone for sharing.
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Join Date: May 2012
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Originally Posted by Igor94
Thanks Scott. I agree about the one ultimate rock bottom being death.
I find myself questioning the notion of “wanting to quit” in order to quit though. I’ve “wanted” to quit for seven years or so. I wanted to quit when I could barely keep food or water down without throwing up, and had barely enough energy to get off my couch for weeks on end.
I guess there’s a difference between consciously wanting something and actually feeling that want enough to overcome the urges. So perhaps my question should be “how do you make yourself feel that desire to stop drinking so much that it overpowers the urges you experience?”
I find myself questioning the notion of “wanting to quit” in order to quit though. I’ve “wanted” to quit for seven years or so. I wanted to quit when I could barely keep food or water down without throwing up, and had barely enough energy to get off my couch for weeks on end.
I guess there’s a difference between consciously wanting something and actually feeling that want enough to overcome the urges. So perhaps my question should be “how do you make yourself feel that desire to stop drinking so much that it overpowers the urges you experience?”
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Originally Posted by Igor94
“how do you make yourself feel that desire to stop drinking so much that it overpowers the urges you experience?”
Maybe you can't "make yourself" want it that much. I couldn't. But I could -- and you can -- find a little window of desperation to post here pleading for help. Often -- too often! And then someone here suggested I go to a meeting and found me one in my neighborhood (thanks, Hollyanne!), and during another little window of desperation, I went to a meeting instead of drinking. And then for a while, every time I had an urge, I went to a meeting or called someone or posted here. It was tedious and painful & humiliating. But it worked, and it got easier.
I didn't get sober on my own. It was really important for me to understand that I didn't have to. Help helps.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Igor, many of these comments are right on the money. An alcoholic's reasoning often says "well, it could be worse. I'm not in jail or sleeping on a park bench". We always try to reason that one more drink just won't hurt. Many alcoholics are in terrible shape and continue to drink because of this type of reasoning - those on the outside can see the problems, but to the alcoholic their problems are invisible. Experiencing major negative consequences on a regular basis doesn't sound too good, man. Hope you find a way out.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by courage2
When you really, really believe that, you'll stop.
With 20 months sober, I still fear the consequences of drinking more than I fear the sometimes scary realities of staying sober.
With 20 months sober, I still fear the consequences of drinking more than I fear the sometimes scary realities of staying sober.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
The pain of staying in my addiction was FINALLY greater than the pain of recovery.
I didn't have a "textbook" bottom either and it's only by the grace of the universe. Like my friend Venecia, I was a closet drinker so my bottom was all internal. The amount of shame & self loathing I carried around was enough to stop a charging elephant. After 22 years of drinking it finally - thankfully - became too much. I have spent every day of the past 14 months doing everything in my power to let go of that toxicity that was slowly & methodically destroying me. Each day is a little better than the last, but I know one more sip puts me back where I started. And that's terrifying enough to keep me sober.
Good thread with some great responses. Thanks for being here.
Welcome also to Dried.
I didn't have a "textbook" bottom either and it's only by the grace of the universe. Like my friend Venecia, I was a closet drinker so my bottom was all internal. The amount of shame & self loathing I carried around was enough to stop a charging elephant. After 22 years of drinking it finally - thankfully - became too much. I have spent every day of the past 14 months doing everything in my power to let go of that toxicity that was slowly & methodically destroying me. Each day is a little better than the last, but I know one more sip puts me back where I started. And that's terrifying enough to keep me sober.
Good thread with some great responses. Thanks for being here.
Welcome also to Dried.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi Igor
I rode the elevator all the down...but it doesn't have to be that way.
I think most of us have the idea that we need to crash and burn to change...and that's just not true. I see people here everyday simply waking up and deciding not to live their lives that way one more second.
That's all a bottom is. A decision - an accompanying cataclysm is not mandatory.
It's the choice to stop digging down, and start climbing up
I rode the elevator all the down...but it doesn't have to be that way.
I think most of us have the idea that we need to crash and burn to change...and that's just not true. I see people here everyday simply waking up and deciding not to live their lives that way one more second.
That's all a bottom is. A decision - an accompanying cataclysm is not mandatory
.It's the choice to stop digging down, and start climbing up
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 19
Thanks everyone for your replies. I haven't posted much, and I am so grateful so many people took so much time to write replies to me. I am thinking it would be a good idea to devote an entire day, or weekend, to recovery activities. Maybe going to a bunch of AA meetings and church will get my head in the right place and build some motivation without me having to experience something crazy like losing a job.
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