needtostopthis

I just found out my MIL has cancer. My husband and i are fighting constantly, our relationship is hanging on by a thread. My son is 6 and having behavior issues at school. I got called down to pick him up yesterday because he pushed his teacher and principle. He does have pdd (pervasive developmental disorder) so i knew this would happen but it is so hard to deal with. On top if it all, i am miserable because i can not stop drinking. I have tried stopping many times. I was on the Sept post but never made that, been on so many different months and never even made it past 12 days i believe. I feel my life is in shambles. I do not have a job, no career, no college, i am just stagnant and i can't get out this hole. I am on medication but i know it does not work well because i drink all the time. I did AA but gave it up after just two meetings. I plan to start it again but i feel i don't have the time to do it (excuse i guess) But in reality i do have a lot on my plate. I am trying to take baby steps because i get ahead of myself and i think i set myself up for failure. Like when i stopped drinking in the past. I would get to like 7 days and then move on to some other thing, like looking for jobs, or dieting, and then i would fail because i put too much on my plate. Does this even make sense. Anyway here i am again and ready to do this!

SoberLeigh

I am sorry for your struggles, needtostopthis; you do have a lot on your plate.

Taking alcohol permanently off the table will likely make it easier to deal and cope with your challenges - without the anxieties, hangovers and self-doubt fueled by alcohol.

I am glad that you are back and ready, needtostopthis.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back needtostopthis. Sorry to hear of your troubles, life can be very difficult at times. It sounds like you have made some good efforts in the past, perhaps you can redouble your efforts to keep them in place? You really need to give whatever method you choose ( AA, SR, etc ) more than few days or a week's time to start showing positive change. It takes almost that long just to physically get through withdrawals and start getting back to "normal" physically.

Id suggest also speaking with your doctor or therapist that has prescribed the meds you are on and being completely honest about your drinking. It's possible that the alcohol is counteracting the meds anyway, so having a new plan in that area would be a good idea too.

SR is always here if you need us, and you are more than welcome to join a monthly or weekly class thread, in fact I think it would be a great idea to do so.

MIRecovery

Getting sober is the starting point for a lot of good things to come. I have been around AA a while and I don't believe I have ever seen them give up on anyone.

Don't drink get a sponsor, spend as much time on AA as you did on drinking, and work the steps. I Guarantee your life will get a lot better

gonzo51511

Yes i agree with as much AA as possible. Gets u away from the temptation of drinking. And sometimes you catch a dull meeting but if u keep going they get a lot better in my experience of a couple months. And maybe someone at AA could know of a job possibility.. doesnt hurt to ask around anyways... good luck

Ruby2

You have a lot going on. It's going to take a lot of focus on you and you alone to quit drinking. I'm a busy mother with many challenges too so I know it can be hard but it can be done. None of the challenges you have on your plate is as important as getting sober. Once you string continual sober days together, the other stuff will fall into place and be far more manageable.

My son is ADHD and I was getting calls from his teacher on a reasonably regular basis.

I do work but I was in danger of losing my job from the drinking.

Once I stopped, it all got much more manageable. If you have time to plan your drinking and then drink, you have time to devote to getting and staying sober. Until you do that, you will continue to flounder. That's tough to hear and it's actually tough for me to say. I had to go into detox and treatment to get away from the liquor. It was worth it. Life is far better without drinking.

If you decide on AA, go every day if you can. If your son's in school, go while he's in school. Make arrangements for your husband to watch him in the evening if you can't go during the day. Believe me, it will get easier to deal with everything if you just don't drink.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk sorry about your recent news & struggle by staying sober it will really help, take alcohol completely off the menu

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Hevyn

It's so good to see you, needtostop. You can get it right this time - we're with you.

When I came here I was in a similar state. I kept insisting alcohol was helping me stay calm & cope - but it was just adding to my anxiety & self-doubt. Kicking it out of your life will help you grow stronger and more positive.

Anna

As others have said, staying sober will help with all the other parts of your life, including handling your son's behavioral issue. Talking to your dr is a good place to start, and be assured that you will always find support here.

needtostopthis

I
Thank you. Yes i have told myself so many times that drinking helps me calm down. What a crock. It only makes things worse.

tomsteve

glad ya made it back!
yup, life can be a bugger. i can look back and think about times i thought alcohol was calming me down. making life more managable.but the longer i drank the more unmanagable my life became.
and aa gave me life.

im glad ya went to two meetings before. how about surfin the www for "big book online" and reading the first 164 pages? find out what the programs about and results that matetialize from workin it?
its a great way of life.

if you make getting sober and whatever is necessary to do that number 1 priority you can get and stay sober.

it will be well worth it.

Dee74

Great advice here. I absolutely agree that drinking is ultimately making things worse not better.

I know you have a lot on your plate but you're not alone here - give sobreity a go again - and why not give AA another try?

you might just amaze yourself with how capable you really are

I'm glad you're back with us

D

needtostopthis

I do have the big book actually. I only read some others folks stories in it so far. I need to pick that book back up.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Needtostopthis!!

I guarantee alcohol is not he solution to whatever else is going on in life, Sobriety on the other hand is a great foundation for building a life upon, draw a line under alcohol, and not have it added to the list of things to deal with!!

You can do this!!

tomsteve

you just may be surprised like i was to find yerself described somewhat in the first 164 pages. published 28 years before i wad born and yet sure had me pegged.
even better was reading who i could be and how my life could be if i followed its simple suggestions.