SoberInCLE

Hi All!

I am recently sober as of July 22nd after 30 years of binge drinking, the last four years being more worse, where I may have had 3 nights a week where I wasn't drunk, and I am happy to report my headaches and lack of concentration and depression are less worse.

But, I have difficulty getting up in the morning because I don't really feel challenged at work and don't really like it there even though it is a good paying job with good benefits that pay for my therapist. I have felt this way for four years - during this time a lot of other bad stuff happened which I used as an excuse to let myself drink more.

My problem is this feeling that I have the wrong job or, more broadly, am doing the wrong thing with my life, has always bothered me and I used drinking to help me deal with this feeling.

When can you start trusting your feelings after you stop drinking?

I am not going to leave my job right now. I don't have any cash savings just my 401k. I don't know if my impulsive spending was due to my drinking or a separate problem.

Did any of you quit your jobs or learn how to cope with this feeling once you got sober?

Thanks!

FreeOwl

Keep that job. Keep focused on deepening your sobriety. That therapist is a critical benefit for you right now.

I have felt the very same way you express about my job for a long long time....

After a year of sobriety, I made some shifts in my job situation - still working for the same employer but in a slightly different capacity, still doing essentially the same things.

That helped provide a little renewed energy, but what really changed was ME... and my attitude about my job.

It turns out, long term drinking problems really mess with our perspective, our emotions, our thought processes, the stories we tell ourselves and our ability to find goodness and gratitude in all sorts of areas of life.

Give it time. Give your sobriety your focus.

Saskia

Sober, I agree completely with FreeOwl. I would put off making major life decisions for probably some months unless you are in an untenable situation. The blahs can last awhile but do get better.

Meanwhile, exercise and other sober activities may help.

Soberwolf

Welcome Sober

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

newpage119

I wonder if everyone dislikes their job?

I have felt that way too, under challenged and bored a little silly for a long time too!
But I am going to give it at least 1.5 years sobriety and then re-evaluate......


Congrats on becoming sober!

SoberInCLE

I wonder too. Good luck with your recovery and thanks!

FreeOwl

One thing that really helped me was to consciously see my job simply as the way I pay the bills and support my family, and to focus my sense of fulfillment and pleasure and reward on other things in life that mean more to me.

This went hand in hand with my sobriety - because embracing sobriety meant making changes and doing things in my life that had more meaning, like learning to play guitar and writing and starting youth community coding clubs and doing things that were sober-supportive, rewarding and purposeful.

Transforming life in this way, along with becoming more emotionally healthy, meant my job tool on a different and less important dimension in my life

Nonsensical

I had a VERY similar experience. I didn't quit my job, but I made (and am now executing) a plan to transition to work I think I will enjoy more. I project I will leave my current job aound the middle of next year, but my plan is adaptable, so things can change.

Just quitting was tempting because some days it feels like this job is sucking the life out of me. But it pays well and the benefits are good. If I had quit I would have just been unemployed and unprepared to pursue the job I want. In that situation the best case would be me sitting around my house all day arguing with the alcoholic living in my head. The worst case would have been full-blown drinking.

You don't want to do your current job. That's fair. What do you want to do? Are you in a position to make a change to doing what you want to do without undue financial hardship? If not start making a plan to make the change.

Rootin' for ya!

thomas11

I think work and drinking are often inextricably linked. No question about it. I think you would be wise to keep your job for now, and over time update your resume and seek out other opportunities. You are more valuable to another company if you are actively employed. If you go to interview jobless and broke, they know they can low-ball you on money and their chance of success is high. Congrats on your recent sobriety. That's something no one can take away from you.

Anna

Oh this was a big challenge for me, because I had never trusted my feelings. I had to learn to be quiet and to listen to my soul. I had to believe that I would connect with my soul and find the path in life I should follow, if I could sit quietly and listen. And, it worked and it changed my life.

I don't know if you should change your job or your line of work, but I know that if you listen you will follow the right path.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum SoberInCLE!!

SoberInCLE

FreeOwl,

Those are a lot of accomplishments - well done!

This paycheck is strictly for myself, although it would be great if I could start a family one day. Outside of work, I have enjoyed embracing non-sober activities - more tennis, eating healthier, golf, just buying myself a dinner at a nice restaurant, the beach, and, soon, archery (I'd like to turkey hunt!). I hope I can keep it up once winter gets to the North coast.

I work in Tech Support at a bank and have for the last 8 years and something in it I feel is very alienating to the type of person I am. I am very gregarious and social and this job offers little social interaction and I have no close friends in the office. So, I am going to try and work harder (less web surfing - other than soberrecovery of course) and prioritize more and see if that helps me minimize my thoughts of work outside of work.

Meanwhile, I should quickly be able to build up a bankroll and I can add saving/budgeting to my new skills.

What's up with me spending all my money? It wasn't all drinking!

SoberInCLE

Good luck with your transition!

I would hate being unemployed more so that is definitely something I could remember when I am waking up.

If I am more honest with myself, then I drank rather than plan to make this transition. So, I am really just starting.

SoberInCLE

I will try listening. Do you just sit quietly?

SportsFan15

something in it I feel is very alienating to the type of person I am. I am very gregarious and social and this job offers little social interaction and I have no close friends in the office. So, I am going to try and work harder (less web surfing - other than soberrecovery of course) and prioritize more and see if that helps me minimize my thoughts of work outside of work.

[/QUOTE]

SoberinCLE I feel EXACTLY the same way! I've recently been posting about my sane issues at work on this very forum....many have suggested to me to give myself some more sober time before changing jobs. I agree.

So I have a hard time getting out of bed for work too. Do you run late daily and procrastinate? Just curious because I do and think these things are related.

I feel your pain!

SoberInCLE

SoberinCLE I feel EXACTLY the same way! I've recently been posting about my sane issues at work on this very forum....many have suggested to me to give myself some more sober time before changing jobs. I agree.

So I have a hard time getting out of bed for work too. Do you run late daily and procrastinate? Just curious because I do and think these things are related.

I feel your pain![/QUOTE]

Absolutely! So, now that I'm not drinking, I get up early but I just keep hitting the snooze. I don't even want to eat breakfast or check out the internet. I just keep dreading the moment when I have to get in the shower and then I get there 15 minutes late like I do every day.

But other that that, everything else seems slightly improved. And I'm excited about sobriety and trying new things. But, financially I'm in a hole and really just started to feel good enough to start a job search.

I agree with the posters here that I should stick it out for now. Listen to myself, figure out what I want to do, and save my money.

I am probably making my work situation worse in my head than it really is. I should probably leave at some point. I read some guy's blog and he says sobriety is mainly about removing the negatives and this is a negative although I don't know how to fix it just yet.

SoberInCLE

I'm just gonna follow up that thought real quick. Since the conclusion is that I can't leave my job right now, I'm gonna try and come up with a plan to make it less stressful. Right now, my stress is I'll lose my job while I still don't have any money saved, then have to "find myself" and be unemployed.

So, I need an action plan to make work less stressful. Maybe I could:
- reward myself for getting out of bed early. Like, give myself $5 to spend on whatever I want if I get out of bed at 7 instead of bitching at myself all drill sergeant style
- pack a lunch the night before so I know my morning time is for relaxing
- iron shirts and stuff on a particular day so my **** isn't laying all over the floor every morning and I look all IT disheveled
- give myself another $5 for catching the correct bus (that gets me there on time) instead of hitting the curb whenever
- weird thing is, I realized today my lunch break stresses me out cause I like to dwell on how long I've been stuck in this job. So, I need to get a book or something to keep my mind occupied or go to the gym
- if I get there earlier, I can leave earlier and enjoy other things. That's a reward right there.

Okay, this list is a little weak. I hate the mornings. But I bet I can encourage myself to feel better.

Nonsensical

Its a start. Rome wasn't built in a day.

It's common for those of us who have alcohol problems to want what we want right now! Making meaningful changes in one's life takes time. You seem like you're on the right track.

Good Luck!

D122y

I totally relate. But, there are bills to pay.

Admitting to myself that I hate my job helped me get out of my head.

At 50, you would think I could have figured out my calling. Not yet.

Starting at a new job, one that might turn out worse, didn't appeal.

I agree with you, hobbies are awesome. Working out is amazing.

I used to be fat and ugly. Now I am just ugly.

SoberInCLE

Well, it is gonna take some trial and error and some time. Keeping a healthy attitude and hobbies is going to help a lot. Thanks for everyone's encouragement!